emily p. freeman

Creating space for your soul to breathe so you can discern your next right thing.

learning to leave a trail of beauty

I nearly titled this post 8 Ways to Know the Difference Between a Dream and a Calling, but that sounds too much like I might know what I’m talking about. (Besides, it was way too long). But beauty? Beauty I can do. Because really, the dreams we imagine are simply our longing for beautiful. And many times we don’t pursue them because we simply aren’t called to do so. But other times we don’t pursue them because what if they aren’t so beautiful after all?

Yesterday I asked if you believed there was a difference between a dream and a calling, and nearly all of you said yes, there is a difference. You also freely shared some of your questions (and some of mine as well): What if I’m being selfish? What if I didn’t hear God right? What if my dream is too small or too big? What if I hate my calling? What if I fail? What if I succeed? I think every answer to those valid questions are found, not in the details of dreams and callings, but in the loving arms of God.

“I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can’t produce a thing.”

– John 15:5

God places His dreams in us. And then he calls them out of us. A lot of my frustration comes from spinning my wheels outside of that intimate and organic connection with the heart of God. I believe there is always more. Not necessarily bigger, but more. We have been given everything we need for life and godliness (1 Peter 1:3), but we don’t dare experience it all. There are big dreams of great influence and small dreams, also of great influence. God sees them all, and he calls us out of our fear and into the dream. My friend Holley Gerth talks about God-sized dreams. She says this:

“It’s not the size of the dream or desire that makes the difference–it’s the size of the who One made it, who made you, who takes treasures from His heart and places them in yours. Dream little dreams of a quiet life. Dream big dreams of the spotlight. Both matter. Both make a difference.”

For me, a dream has a floaty aspect to it, a sometime, someday preface. When it begins to emerge as a calling, fear always comes with it. But with the fear, there is a holy excitement, an anticipation for what is to come. And there is a grounded-ness to it, almost like the far-off is being pulled near with a strong hand, like a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day float.

A calling does not depend on a dream coming true. Contrary to what every American Idol winner in history has said, believing your dreams will come true does not necessarily mean they will. It’s just a statistical impossibility. Whenever I hear a young newly famous person talk about how ‘dreams really do come true!’ I always say under my breath, Well then what about the 100,000 other people who tried out and didn’t make it? A person may dream of being the American Idol. But even if that dream never comes true, it doesn’t mean they aren’t still called to sing.

Escape vs. Influence. Sometimes dreams begin from a desire to escape something: a job you hate, a difficult diagnosis, a longing for love. But if we really examine them, there could be a bit of true calling hidden within the dream. In other words, a dream may be something you think of to escape hard things. A calling is often something you can’t escape no matter how hard you may try. When I dream, I feel more like I’m watching a movie; when I am called, I’m one of the actors.

A dream is something you do with your eyes closed. A calling is something you do with your eyes wide open. – Nikole

A calling may begin as a dream. Not all dreams turn into a calling, but for me, my calling began as a dream. I wanted to write. For many years, I knew I was made to write down deep in my bones. But it took years before a calling to write emerged. It took timing and circumstance and most of all, a message.

You are  called to a message, not a method. If you tell me you are called to write books, I might challenge you on that. Because that calling could require you to convince someone else (a publisher) of that fact, and you may never be able to do so. I still don’t believe I’m necessarily called to write books. But I do believe I am called to share a particular message. Because I believe in my calling, I will share the message in an e-book, in a small group, as a speaker, on a blog, or in any way possible. For me, the opportunity opened up for me to share that message in a book in the traditional publishing way. But no matter what, I was going to share the message.

Pay attention to the desires of your heart. Why do we insist on feeling guilty for those things we dream of? God has placed his desires in your heart, and he is calling them out of you. Are you keeping your dreams locked away in the name of being reasonable? Or are you willing to be honest about them and lay them out in the open before the God who may have actually placed them there?

“Sometimes the dreams are so big . . . I feel they could make me burst. Calling, on the other hand, is like a steady relationship. It’s enormously romantic when they collide.”  – Susie Davis

Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow. Lilies are called to grow and be beautiful. And God clothes them, these little flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow. How much more will he take care of you? If he brings beauty into the world through these, how much more will he allow wonder and beauty and miracles to be produced in us, through us, from his hand? When we allow ourselves to dream, God takes sweet delight in reaching into them and grabbing by the fistful, shaping, molding, changing, bringing out the beautiful.

Calling often comes from a shattered dream.* Nobody likes this one, but it may be the most important. Sometimes the calling comes out of a beautiful dream and sometimes it comes out of brokenness. Heartache. Death. Loss. Disappointment. Is it possible that God can still bring out the beauty? Jesus says yes, says fruit comes when the seed is planted and broken and dies. The story of God is built upon beauty made, then destroyed, then re-made better. There is bondage, but then freedom. There is blindness, but then sight. There is death, but then resurrection.

*Larry Crabb wrote a book called Shattered Dreams. My husband has read it and says it’s excellent.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  2. Emily, I’m a new reader to your blog, but I am IN LOVE. Today you put into words some of the feelings I’ve been wrestling with for a few months. My particular struggle is a dream to write (and a growing sense of calling) but also a calling to “mommy” by 3 young boys. Praise God, He is slowly, gently showing me how He wants both to play in my life.

    Thanks so much for your wonderful post.

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  3. So much wisdom here, Emily. I can’t thank you enough for these posts you’ve written on art and calling.

    And this point, ‘You are called to a message, not a method’…Yes! Walking in this brings such freedom. Embrace the message and the method will follow, and it might look completely different than you expect.

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  5. Whoa Emily! I wrote about a few of these things in my She Speaks Scholarship entry last night. “You’re called to a message, not a method” is exactly what I’ve experienced in the last few months (though you said it so much better than I did!). Once I let go of my expectations and plans, I could see more of God’s plans for me.

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  6. Oh, you are so wise and comforting with these words. I feel like your comment section is my confessional. That part where you talk about feeling guilty because of our desires, keeping them locked away because we fear they’re not reasonable, that is me. I am at a place of praying for wisdom to discern what is calling and what is indulgence and maybe I shouldn’t see them so at odds with each other. The desires do have a way of teaching us so much about who we are, our art, and they are good teachers in that way. I guess I’m at a place where fear and uncertainty are colliding with excitement and self-discovery and it’s a big, scary, wonderful mess yet to sort itself out. : )

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    • Yes, this is so true and so definitely how I am feeling right now, Emily. I have been in a period of sanctification and growth for the past 2 years, since my Mom passed away. Thanks for putting the words in print where it no longer makes me feel like I am crazy. I will rest in the Lord, and wait on His timing as to how and when my dreams unfold and my calling intertwine.

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  7. “You’re called to a message, not a method” It reminds me that my callings and dreams are (ought to be?) all about how Jesus’ rescue, not me, my talents or lack thereof, but about Him. My job is merely to hone the voice that screams Him!

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  8. To me, the difference is that a dream is something born within us, and a calling is something we are born with. In some people, the two never meet. In others, and I hope to fall into this category, our ultimate dream is to find and fulfill that which we are called to do. We have the power to make them one in the same, as long as we put the calling first. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to ponder this, and for your thoughtful words.

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  9. I love how you expanded further from yesterday’s post. I love the quotes you shared. And I particulary loved “You are called to a message, not a method”. I will need to remember that as I move forward. I know the message is my calling, but the delivery I choose may not work. Just because a delivery method doesn’t work, doesn’t mean the dream or calling was wrong, I just need to move on to another method of delivery.
    I also love that you state a calling may come from a broken dream. That is fairly true in my case. But God is using this brokenness to being me closer to Him and to share with others.
    I cannot wait to sit down with your book. I can imagine it will be hard to put down!
    Bernice

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  10. This post. I’m almost speechless – sitting here in teary eyed wonder and hope. Thank you, Emily. Thank you God.

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  11. You’re so right that calling often comes from a shattered dream. I was the oldest of six homeschooled kids, and I always wanted to have a family like that myself. Now, five years into my marriage, with an infertility diagnosis and one precious baby in heaven, God is beginning to reveal a new dream – a new calling – to be adoptive parents. Thanks for the encouragement.

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  12. I’ve been reading your blog for a while now but this is the first time I have commented. I only want to say Wow! Just Wow!

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  13. Totally speechless. That was so good in so many ways. And I was so excited to see how long the post was today. lol…I would read a little and then go do something…then read a little bit more….it was like I was eating a delicious dessert, making every bite count…trying to make it last…that’s what this blog is to me. Can’t get enough!

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  14. I’m amazed at how timely some of your posts seem to be. I’m in the midst of a huge decision right now, and I can’t help but think of what you said about the last big decision you had. How we need to step out in faith sometimes and make a decision rather than waiting for a perfect clarity that would tell us how this all will work out in the end which will never come. I find myself wondering how much longer I’m going to allow myself to be caught in the holding pattern of waiting for “someday”. The opportunity is here, the timing is as good as it will ever be, and this old boat is surrounded by the storm of the century. But God is faithful. Trust……one little word that scares me to death! No wait, Faith is another one. ;] Thanks, Emily!

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  16. How in the world do you nail it every time? You are so consistently great, Emily — I love it and it sort of irks me a little bit at the same time! (that’s envy speaking, by the way — not my best quality).

    My favorite line, the one that really clarified dream vs. calling, the one that made me say YES! out loud:

    “When it begins to emerge as a calling, fear always comes with it. But with the fear, there is a holy excitement, an anticipation for what is to come.”

    Yes!!

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  18. OH. MY. STARS. Em-i-ly. This post? Amazing and profound and soul quenching and beautiful and read-worthy by every person on God’s green earth.

    I’m bookmarking this because I want to come back and remember His wisdom spoken through your beautiful self.

    Thank you!

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  19. “God places his dreams in us. And then he calls them out of us.” That is exactly what my friend and I were talking about last night – if dreams are just silly wishes, or if they’re put in our hearts by God . . . and if he puts them there, then does he always make them come true? Thank you, thank you, thank you for putting my own thoughts into such beautiful words! You start my mornings with a trail of beauty.

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  21. “The dreams we imagine are simply our longing for beautiful.” Are you a vessel of Truth or what? If I didn’t adore you and everything you are about, I might be annoyed that your words are uprooting me in a major way lately. Anointed. That’s what you are.

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  23. Siiighhh… I have read “Shattered Dreams.” It is a hard book, a good book. And this post – this is so good too, long and everything. 😉 Sometimes, I just run out of words to say, because I want to sit and soak things in. This is where I am now.

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  24. More, More, More! You are SO speaking to me right now and where I’m at in deciphering between dreams and callings. I want more, Emily! So very eloquently said. 🙂

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  27. Ohhh… you are so wise, so very wise!!! I’ll have to read this one through several times. Oh, I needed this!!!!

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  28. I’m a new follower of your blog. This is exactly what has been eating away at me all day. What dream do I go for? What have I been called to? So frightening and yet so exciting. I was writing a blog post about this, because I feel torn between my dreams. Which dream do I go for? But what I am realizing is maybe I have to give up my own dreams and let God’s dreams/calling/plans for my life take over. Oh! Thank you for helping me understand what God has been trying to tell me for weeks. Sometime I can be so hard headed. God Bless You! Thanks for responding to the call God has place on your life.

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  29. hi emily, there is something really special about your blog. something that draws me to “your place”. maybe because my husband also
    works in youth ministry, or because of your humility and wisdom….or both. or just because whenever you post, your words resonate with me. Thank you so much for putting in time here. I hope you never doubt yourself. i really admire you. ~christine.

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  30. scanning through your comments i always see you have new people. people who have just found you. how wonderful that god led them here to hear what he wanted you to say to them.

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  32. perfectly, concisely, beautifully written. i couldn’t add one thing to this. i especially loved “you are called to a message, not a method”. that spoke straight to me. it’s exactly what i needed to read today. and also that “calling often comes from a shattered dream”… i know that full well. isn’t it Christ’s ministry to turn ashes into beauty? He is always good. and strangely, it often takes a shattered dream or gut-wrenching pain to teach us that.

    ps. i don’t think i can can wait until September for your book. i feel like you’re teasing us! 😉

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  33. okay, now that i re-read… i feel like the Holy Spirit is speaking directly to me, through you. thank you for writing this. what is especially striking, the second time around:

    “A calling is often something you can’t escape no matter how hard you may try.”

    “Are you keeping your dreams locked away in the name of being reasonable? [YES!] Or are you willing to be honest about them and lay them out in the open before the God who may have actually placed them there?” [i’m positive He did place them there]

    “When it begins to emerge as a calling, fear always comes with it.” [ah, but the fear is bigger than He is, to me, right now. oh, for grace to trust Him more]

    oh, emily, thank you, complete stranger yet friend. i have some really huge things to pray about tonight. things i can’t escape no matter how hard i try. things i don’t want to pray about, because He just might ask me to step out on that limb of faith and DO them.

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  34. Emily, I loved this one today. You explained my own feeling perfectly and reminded me again why I am doing what I am doing. Thank you so much, for everything. You are amazing.

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  35. Emily, this post is so….perfect for this day! Thank you for following your calling and sharing the story God has given you!

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  38. I like what you said about “being called to write books.” 15 years ago, I was convinced that I was called to write books. I knew I had a gift to write. I knew I had a message to reach the masses. How else do I merge the two without a book?

    But 15 years ago, I had never heard the word “blog.”

    I think I will still write books. Probably many books. But God is showing me that if I stay true to my calling, He will choose the methods. Some of which may not have even been invented yet!

    This series is beautiful…thank you.

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  39. Is this, or something like it, going in your next book? Because, well, it is all quite powerful and clear and telling…honestly Emily, you’ve become the first blog I read…I just love what you share more and more…praying blessings over you and your family and your calling and all that is to come…we know, amazingly, the BEST is ever YET TO COME! 🙂

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  40. This came at exactly the right time, God intersecting what I’m feeling with wise words from you. I have a message, but not sure about the method. I thought I did – a stage, an album, a label deal maybe – but I fear that’s my pride, not my purpose. I’m trying to check my heart for what I feel called to share, knowing God already sanctified and sent me here to this place, this town, this church, this community of believers – I can share my message here without uprooting my family, devasting our finances … it’s been on my mind a lot and I thank you for this. Still wrestling, but feeling more peace and direction.

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  42. This is one of the most beautiful posts I have ever read! Thank you so much for sharing; it has given me so much to ponder. And yes, Shattered Dreams by Larry Crabb is a must read!

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  44. Emily,
    LOVE your blog. I have been a semi-regular reader for a long time, but to be completely honest, something has changed in your writing over the past few weeks or so, and for me, it’s gotten much much better…much more meaningful, more RELEVANT to me.
    I was subscribing to way too many blogs and made the decision recently to UNsubscribe from several that I am just not getting anything out of. I would not dream of unsubscribing to yours as I now look forward to every update. Thank you for sharing your heart.
    Amy

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  45. I love this! I feel my calling came from a shattered dream, perhaps. And, it was a Gift from God…..what was left when the selfishness was removed — love. And, a longing to share with others. That may not make sense, but it does to me. Can’t wait to read the post before this ! I know, I know, I’m going backwards!

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  46. Hey, Emily! Great post my friend! You have taken thoughts of many of us and put them into beautiful and meaningful words. Thank you!!! Love your writing, and the photos are lovely! Hope you all are doing well! Would love to see you again! Will you be at the Image of the Maker Retreat in June? I am looking forward to it!! Take care of your sweet self.
    Hugs!
    Susan (Runnermom)

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  47. I’m glad that I found your site through Amy Sullivan. You unpacked the issue of dream and calling very well, even my ADHD mind can follow your train of thought. I’m trying to discern my calling and doing so through blogging. Love the phrase “trail of beauty.” Thank you very much for your clearly stated insights and the succinct quotes.

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