“When you sing your sad songs, I will learn the words and sing along.”
– Ellie Holcomb
There are a thousand things we should have learned in school but didn’t. Here I’ll name six:
1 – How to be a true leader
2 – How to handle fame and attention
Musicians, high school quarterbacks, pastors, award winners, public servants, politicians, teenagers on social media — so many in the spotlight don’t know how to deal.
3 – How to properly eat dessert
It’s with a fork, not a spoon. Do not come at me with “What about ice cream?!” Ice cream is fine. It’s the cakes, the pies, the brownie sundaes. Why are y’all using spoons for this? Don’t answer that.
4 – How to be anti-racist
5 – How to listen without an agenda
6 – How to be a friend to someone who is suffering
In Psalms of lament, at least four things are present in some form: a prayer crying out to God, an honest complaint, a request, and a vow of praise or confidence.
Let’s don’t rush through the first part to get to the last. And by all means, never rush someone else through the first part, either.
I have a lot to learn about healthy lament. So far, 2020 has been a relentless and dedicated teacher.
One thing I’m trying to do well is to listen when others sing their sad songs, to learn the words, and try to sing along.
Brie says
July 13, 2020 at 8:45 AMEmily, I’ve been a fan of yours for years. I’ve read your books and I’ve listened to your podcast from the beginning. As a music teacher, I *do* try to model and teach ALL of these things to my public school students, all without the ease of naming Jesus as the One who modeled all of these for us (except for, perhaps, #3).
However, these are not things that should be taught ONLY in schools. These are some of the same things I try to instill in my own children as a PARENT. While schools can and do certainly serve and educate our society in a million little ways, there also needs to be reinforcement and support from the rest of society outside of school. We teachers and school representatives cannot change the world for the better on our own; we ALL need to work together to bring about positive change.
emily p freeman says
July 13, 2020 at 9:49 AMWell of course you’re right, Brie. I didn’t say these things should *only* be taught in school without any home support. Of course not! This post was not meant to criticize teachers or the schools. It’s simply a point I’m making that we, as a culture, tend to forget some of the more foundational parts of being human. For example we have public speaking classes in schools. Why not public listening? Again – it was a bit of a light-hearted commentary, not a serious assessment of the school system and certainly not of teachers. We are indeed in this together.
Brie says
July 16, 2020 at 11:09 PMYou’re right. I’m sorry.
I wholly recognize I read this through my overly sensitive lens. (Clearly I need to keep working on #5!)
Peace be with you and yours.
jen subra says
July 26, 2020 at 1:00 PMIf there’s ice cream involved, i.e., warm peach crisp ala mode, then a SPOON is a must! You don’t want all that melty, cinnamony, creamy goodness dripping through the tines of a fork. 🙂 Just sayin’. I thoroughly agree with all your other points. Thanks for sharing!
Sarah Schulz says
July 31, 2020 at 12:30 PMLet me add another, Emily (because I did learn 5 & 6 as a teenager): #7 How to tell people about your own suffering and needs so that they can be with you in it. I’m 40 now and I know how to be with others in their pain, but am still absolutely terrible at inviting other people into my own.
Emily Gadoury says
August 25, 2020 at 12:31 PMEmpathy! The sooner we learn it the better 🙂
typhoontv says
August 7, 2020 at 2:59 PMThese points are worth understanding. And i am totally agreed that we should teach these things in school.