Two years ago, my September through December schedule was so packed that I wondered if it was actually beginning to change my personality.
While I was fulfilling my obligations and meeting deadlines in my work, I was experiencing a lack of energy to meet new people and felt less inclined to move toward longtime friends.
In short, I was exhausted.
John and I walked into that busy season with our eyes wide open. We knew we were intentionally saying yes to more things than usual, but we thought perhaps we could handle it.
That was in the middle of John’s year off, after he quit his job at the church and before we knew what was next. He was home full-time, and I had a lot going on with my own work, so we figured, “Okay, let’s try this!”
What happened during that busy season was I started to wilt on the inside. I’m not sure how else to explain it, but the constant deadlines and productivity combined with my travel schedule left me feeling empty and rushed.
I’m finishing the story at (in)courage today, sharing one reason I’m saying no more often.
Bomi says
September 14, 2015 at 11:48 AMThank you, Thank you, Thank you for this. I have a big smile on my face right now as I type, and I believe my heart is smiling too lol. Very encouraging read. Thanks for sharing ~ Enjoy the beauty of today.:)!
Ann V. says
September 14, 2015 at 1:30 PMEmily, THIS happened over the weekend. There was a women’s event. I’ve always been front and center. But I said no. And your words articulate exactly why I did. You have such a way with pen and ink (or keyboard and computer!). Love, love, love that it’s NOT about being too busy, it’s so much more than that! There is a root, that “middle school, left out, wanna be in” message still tells me I will lose value if I don’t show up. It’s a lie. YOU nailed it!!!
Emily says
September 14, 2015 at 2:51 PMThank you for sharing your message! I have been on a similar path, and am in a very full season of life with my family. The word “wilt” resonated strongly with me…and I too am feeling exhausted. I’m grateful to recognize it, and will continue aiming to preserve and protect my spaces of time. All the best to you on your continued path!
Judy Houle says
September 14, 2015 at 5:11 PMWilt – it’s a great way to describe it! I am often telling my husband at night that I am “fried like a french fry.” His response? “I know what that means.” In other words, I am wasted, spent, no energy left for him and our lives together – wilted. It also means no time for God – enjoying Him, delighting in His word. It’s time – time for “no” – time to get the center of my life back and define margins as all the other stuff. Thank you for this encouragement!
Christie says
September 15, 2015 at 5:44 AMEmily, your writing resonates with me–a fellow INFJ. I need margin and lots of time to just be with God and alone and breathing and processing. I need to stare out the window. I am a caregiver and work full time. My husband has MS and is at home and needing more and more care. I feel wilty. I am struggling where to say no when I have few yes’s to give out. And I just said yes to something that seems good to me and for me–to facilitate a small group women’s study. But at the same time, I feel a weight on me. That time is precious margin time–a rarity for me. God will give wisdom. I appreciate your words today and how you give words to what my heart feels so often. Blessings to you and virtual hugs.
Christy C. says
September 15, 2015 at 10:51 AMThanks for this post. I am trying to learn to say no more often. At times, it’s difficult for me as I am a recovering good girl, people pleaser, oldest child (of 4) and perfectionist. 🙂 Not proud of it all, but I am trying to learn that those traits are not healthy for me.
Also enjoying re-reading Simply Tuesday as Crystal Paine from Money Saving Mom blogs through the book this week. http://moneysavingmom.com/2015/09/simply-tuesday-review-part-1.html
Steph says
September 29, 2015 at 1:19 PMThis is my favorite blog post that I’ve read in a long while. You’re saying what I’ve been searching for words to say. I sent this to my husband yesterday and we spent a long time last night discussing busyness and margins and personalities and what we want our lives to look like. So thanks.