emily p. freeman

Creating space for your soul to breathe so you can discern your next right thing.

what we learned

6 Things I Learned This Summer

Welcome to What We Learned, where we pause to reflect on the past season before we move ahead into the future. At the end of this post, you’re invited to link up to your own list of what you learned this quarter – be it silly, serious, sacred, or just plain useful. I like to share a mix of all of those.

If you’re visiting for the first time from my podcast The Next Right Thing, welcome! We do this every quarter and will share our next list (What We Learned in Fall) on Friday, November 30. Grab your free printable list here to help you keep track and plan to share with us then. Now you can also share your list on Instagram using #wwlcommunity.

When I link to books, I use my affiliate links which, if you make a purchase means a tiny percentage helps support the work I do here at no extra cost to you. Now here are things I learned this summer in no particular order:

1. Making a To-Read list is my new stress reliever.

Because most of my reading is required reading right now, I have had to pause moving through my personal to-read list. But adding books to the list is comforting and gives hope that pleasure reading will come again!

I’ve linked to these books here in one of my Idea Lists.

 

2. Saying yes to collaboration just might lead you home.

Next week’s episode of The Next Right Thing is all about this (look for Episode 49: Collaborate coming September 4) but for now I’ll simply say collaboration doesn’t have to trigger memories of seventh grade group projects but can, in fact, help you become a more true and grounded version of yourself.

3. I know I’ve heard from God when I don’t feel ashamed and I’m not afraid.

Those are words are tweaked from Myrna Craig, as quoted on page 22 of Jan Johnson’s book, When the Soul Listens. Myrna actually said guilty instead of ashamed but I do think there’s an important distinction to make between guilt and shame. Guilt says I did wrong. Shame says I am wrong. So I changed the quote a bit to reflect that.

Still, I know that might not be exactly what we’ve grown up to believe about God.

But the more I walk with Jesus, the more I have come to believe that when he really wants me to know something, guilt and fear are not his way. His way may be corrective and disciplinary, but it’s always laced with the comfort of his love.

 

4. “There is enough for me and there is enough for you, too.”

My friend Jerome Daley said this at a workshop we hosted recently (you can learn more about Jerome here) and even though I’ve heard this sentence before, and even though I’ve said this sentence before, hearing him say it that Saturday morning when I was feeling particularly small and not in a good way, those words of abundance were just what I needed.

 

5. Thirty minute daily brainstorms are saving my life.

My idea brain hasn’t yet received the message that I’ve got stuff going on and I haven’t the time right now for new things. But it keeps generating ideas for every aspect of my work and I cannot possibly keep up.

Instead of slumping in discouragement with that constant feeling that things are falling through the cracks, I’ve decided to spend 30 minutes everyday to catch ideas on purpose. Here’s how:

  • Choose a notebook for ideas only
  • Pick one topic/aspect of work, for example Instagram stories, live events, collaborations, blog posts, podcast episodes, hope*writers, etc.
  • Set a timer for 30 minutes
  • Write down all ideas as they relate to the topic chosen
  • Just before the timer goes off, write a short list of next actions to take

It’s not a perfect system (yet!) but it’s given me some relief from feeling like I’m missing things.

6. If you have serious writing to do, pick the shop with great coffee and bad WiFi.

This is self-explanatory. And all God’s people said Amen.

***

I keep track of what I’m learning by using my seasonal reflection lists. You can get your own printable lists for tracking your reflections by signing up right here. If you’re new around here and want to know what, how, and tools to track what you’re learning, check out A New Page for Your Bullet Journal.

Some linking tips: 

  • Just use your name for the “link title” – it’s simpler
  • Be sure to link back here on  your post so your readers can join in!


Let’s Share What We Learned This Spring

Y’all. We have so much to talk about. A royal wedding, Yanny and Laurel, a springtime snow, what your future self needs, not to mention all the things you’ve learned this season. So let’s get to it!

Welcome to What We Learned, where we pause to reflect on the past season before we move ahead into the future. At the end of this post, you’re invited to link up to your own list of what you learned this quarter – be it silly, serious, sacred, or just plain useful. I like to share a mix of all of those.

If you’re visiting for the first time from my podcast The Next Right Thing, welcome! We do this every quarter and will share our next list (What We Learned in Summer) on Friday, August 31. Grab your free printable list here to help you keep track and plan to share with us then. Now you can also share your list on Instagram using #wwlcommunity.

Here are things I learned this spring in no particular order:

1. I don’t mind a March snow.

That’s easy for me to say because it’s rare here in North Carolina. But it snowed in the middle of March this year and I found myself thrilled as I watched it fall down fast out my window, one last quieting, a final hush before spring.

 

2. On Downton Abbey, they never washed their costumes.

So basically they stunk all the time. They did have removable patches in the armpits, but I don’t like to think about this and also could that possibly have helped? This is a random fact I can’t forget.

 

3. Of all the gradual things in this life, watching as your kids grow up is perhaps the most exceptional.

The girls start high school in the fall and it feels equally shocking and like the most normal thing in the world. I have surprised myself with my current lack of overwhelm at this new impending life stage. Let’s see if it lasts.

 

4. If there’s something I miss from the past, I can find ways to invite it back into my life.

Rather than complain about how I miss “the old days of blogs” I went ahead and wrote a post like it was 2009. I loved every minute of it.

5. Your future self needs you to plan things before you think you need them.

One of the reasons those “old days of blogging” were so great was because it was how I met some of my current closest friends. Shannan Martin and I have been getting together for a writing/working/eating/talking weekend for five years now. This one was the hardest to find a date that works but we did it anyway and I’m so glad.

One year I go up north, the other year she comes down south. This was an “up north” year. Five years in a row and no plans to stop. I wrote more about this tradition two years ago (back in Chicago 2016) if you want to learn more about how we make it work.

 

6. When it doubt, take a walk.

Part two of that last one is Writing Day 1 in Chicago was a wash. It was our final day of our hope*writers launch so while I thought I could disconnect all day, that was unrealistic. I also just needed some time to settle in.

But Writing Day 2 started out with an early breakfast with Shannan, some inspiration from an Uber driver (that I ended up recording an entire podcast episode about), and a walk through parts of the city.

When I got back to my hotel room just before lunch, I was in a fantastic mood, ready to work. Sometimes it’s best to start first thing in the morning, but other times you need a little walk through the city to remember to see things from a new perspective.

 

7. “When the ego swells, the soul shrivels.”

Thank you, Dallas Willard, for these 7 words I’ll never forget.

 

8. If you have to decide between several things, pick what you like then see how it grows.

I put a lot of pressure on myself to make the “right” choice, but not every decision is between right or wrong. Sometimes it’s just this or that. I’m nearly 40 episodes into a creating a podcast all about decision-making, and this one line has hit a chord, both with me and so many of you.

9. I love black and white mugs.

Speaking of picking what you like, I’ve learned this season I’m just going to stick with the black and white mugs. I am happy about this.

 

And finally, the most epic and wonderful distraction of spring 2018:

10. We’ve learned what level of distraction and obsession we can (or cannot?) endure.

Lest you forget, this national debate about which name this voice was saying happened the same week as Meghan and Harry’s wedding.

You guys, we survived Yanny and Laurel and a Royal Wedding in the same week! I can’t believe the stock market didn’t crash or something. It’s a wonder we got any work done at all that week. I’m so proud of us.

***

I keep track of what I’m learning by using my seasonal reflection lists. You can get your own printable lists for tracking your reflections by signing up right here. If you’re new around here and want to know what, how, and tools to track what you’re learning, check out A New Page for Your Bullet Journal.

Some linking tips: 

  • Just use your name for the “link title” – it’s simpler
  • Be sure to link back here on  your post so your readers can join in!


Let’s Share What We Learned This Winter

Welcome to What We Learned, where we pause to reflect on the past season before we move ahead into the future. At the end of this post, you’re invited to link up to your own list of what you learned this quarter – be it silly, serious, sacred, or just plain useful. I like to share a mix of all of those.

If you’re visiting for the first time from my podcast The Next Right Thing, welcome! We do this every quarter and will share our next list (What We Learned in Spring) on Thursday May 31. Grab your free printable list here to help you keep track and plan to share with us then. Now you can also share your list on Instagram using #wwlcommunity.

Here are things I learned this winter in no particular order:

 

1. Leah Remini auditioned for the role of Monica Gellar on Friends.

I’m listening to Leah’s memoir Troublemaker on audible right now (and, side note, I feel like I could rock a Brooklyn accent after spending hours listening to her). She talks about how she got into (and eventually out of) Scientology and it is fascinating.

But she also shares a lot about her work as an actress and said when she didn’t get the part of Monica, she was devastated because she knew that show was going to be huge. Of course she was right.

2. Every now and then, friendship has a red letter day. But that’s not the norm.

Speaking of Friends, I went to college with these girls and our small group met on Thursday nights. We would talk about Jesus and pray and laugh. But some weeks we would skip all that and just watch Friends. (Because Thursday night at 8pm).

Every now and then, friendship has a red letter day – like a trip to NYC to see Hamilton for example. But the only reason that’s even possible is because of the years and years of regular life and small connections built over coffee dates and Zumba class and long stretches of ordinary time.

 

3. It’s a wild and wonderful thing to bump into someone and realize it’s you.

If you’ve never felt the shocking, delightful, tender relief of finally feeling like your true self, then this quote might sound strange.

When I heard our friend and teacher Fil say it at an Enneagram workshop we hosted a few weeks back, I nodded and cried.

Coming home can do that to a person. In the presence of God is where we find ourselves. And in the presence of our true self, we finally see God.

I dedicated an entire podcast episode to that this month here — 25: Come Home to Yourself.

 

4. When it comes to art, we don’t care as much about new; we just want true.

I cried in the car by myself the first time I heard Stay Alive (Reprise) on the Hamilton soundtrack. It’s the part where Alexander and Eliza learn their son Philip was just shot in a duel.

But seeing it acted out, right there in the Rodgers theater on Broadway? Welp. I cried like a b-a-b-y. It was Alexander and Eliza sing-repeating – “I know, I know . . . I know, I know.”

That’s what got me. It didn’t matter that I knew it was going to happen.

It didn’t matter that I have heard the song hundreds of times already.

What mattered was those actors were in it. It wasn’t a new scene to me. But it was a true scene. And that’s why it mattered.

 

5. If one kid is on a travel team, it’s a commitment for the whole family.

I knew this, but I didn’t know this. One of our girls is on a travel volleyball team this season and it’s equal parts super fun and super overwhelming.

It’s weird the stuff we do for our kids. We set aside our own agenda, our own grief, our own plans and comfort and ideas of what makes a productive weekend and we drive and sit and wait and pack lunches and stand around and carry bags and refill water bottles.

It’s all part of cheering our kids through all their things – wins, losses, and everything in between.

 

6. My favorite day of Christmas break is December 26.

While I used to dread the day after Christmas, it has officially become one of my favorite days. This year my family was still in town for one more night, we had no agenda but to watch Little Women and eat pizza and finish a wooden puzzle of Florence and have basically the best day ever.

 

7. I associate seasons in our life with TV shows.

It’s weird, but when I look back at my journals from a few years ago, I like to remember what shows we watched together during a particular season. Here are the shows we’ve watched this winter.

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee: This is the best. We watch one basically every night.

This Is Us: Will we ever forget the episode after the Super Bowl? No we will not ever.

Stranger Things: We finally watched Season 1 and it took us this long because I was scared. But I stuck it out and it was so good. On to Season 2 now.

Good Witch: This show was our answer to the kids question of “is there a show we can watch together as a family?” It’s cheesy, predictable, no one is having sex or saying cuss words and it has townspeople (kind of). Check.

 

8. The ending does not get to define the whole story.

January 13, 2018 was the first day in 104 years that the sun rose on a world without John’s grandmother, Budder.

She died last month in a house fire. We believe the Lord was with her in her final moments and received her with tenderness and great joy.

At first the overwhelming sadness of how her life ended was too much – after all these years, a fire? Really? But the truth is, she’s been ready to be with Jesus, her husband, and her oldest son (John’s Dad) for decades now.

She had 104 beautiful, faithful years and one tragic morning that, in the truest reality, was the most glorious of her life.

If you want to read more about Budder:

***

I keep track of what I’m learning by using my seasonal reflection lists. You can get your own printable lists for tracking your reflections by signing up right here. If you’re new around here and want to know what, how, and tools to track what you’re learning, check out A New Page for Your Bullet Journal.

Some linking tips: 

  • Just use your name for the “link title” – it’s simpler
  • Be sure to link back here on  your post so your readers can join in!


Let’s Share What We Learned This Fall

Welcome to What We Learned, where we pause to reflect on the past season before we move ahead into the future. At the end of this post, you’re invited to link up to your own list of what you learned this quarter – be it silly, serious, sacred, or just plain useful. I like to share a mix of all of those.

If you’re visiting for the first time from my podcast The Next Right Thing, welcome! We do this every quarter and will share our next list (What We Learned in Winter) on Wednesday February 28. Grab your free printable list here to help you keep track and plan to share with us then. Now you can also share your list on Instagram using #wwlcommunity.

Here are 10 things I learned this fall in no particular order.

1. Jennifer Garner is a delight on Instagram.

Some people you follow for inspiration. Others because they are your friend or you want to learn from them or their feed is just pretty.

 

But Jennifer Garner you follow because she is a DELIGHT. I’ve always liked her, but that doesn’t always translate into an interesting instagram account. Thank you Jamie B. Golden for being our social media boss and telling us to follow this fantastic human. Every single time she posts, I smile. Not like, in my heart kind of smile. I actually smile on my face.

 

2. In a world that seems drunk on power, this:

“The flourishing of the vulnerable depends on the vulnerability of the flourishing.”

— Andy Crouch, as quoted in Shrink by Tim Suttle

 

3. The role of faith in learning is real.

About half-way through my first semester of grad school, my professor Tim Keel encouraged our class not to become overwhelmed with all of our reading. “Don’t become anxious. Read by faith. Trust God will bring it back around when you need it.” It’s been years since I’ve been a student, so those words were a lifeline for me in that moment.

 

4. I am a weirdo who loves cloudy, foggy days.

I belive I would do well in London. When I wake up and the cul-de-sac is covered with a  thick blanket of fog, I can physically feel myself relax on the inside. And if the sun starts to burn it off later in the morning, I physically feel disappointed. It’s so strange. It’s happened all my life, but it wasn’t until this fall that I realized it and named it.

 

5. Dropbox is saving my life.

I save all of my files in Dropbox now and it is a game changer. Amy Porterfield taught me how to be organized in Dropbox in an online class I took of hers (it’s not rocket science but evidently I needed someone to teach me these things).

I didn’t realize how much low-grade anxiety was coming from my lack of file organization. But now look! All my podcast episodes lined up pretty.

 

6. Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you have to do it forever.

You guys. I said that in Episode 13: Quit Something. And you lost your minds. Not really, but when I put this image on instagram, here’s what happened:

In the years I’ve been on Instagram, this image got the most response, two-fold that of my second most responded to image. That’s something to pay attention to.

I’m sure there are various reasons, depending on who you are, why this statement resonated. But one reason could be that we live in a world that celebrates starting, producing, winning, and follow-through but there are precious few times where we are encouraged to stop, to quit, or to reconsider an endeavor. Being good at something does not obligate us to commit to it forever or at all. You can listen to the 17 minute episode right here: Quit Something.

 

7. When making decisions for your home, sometimes waiting is a decision.

For years I’ve known I wanted to do something different in our 1960s bathroom but I just didn’t know what I wanted to do. So I waited. And waited. And it was a low priority. A year or nine went by and this year, I’m finally realizing what I really like.

There are about forty tile options I love (just search “black and white” tile on the Google). This one is called Kenzzi Paloma 8×8 Premium Porcelain. And because you might ask, the shoes are Pons by Avarcas USA in Taupe.

P.S. This image is my second most liked ever on Instagram so you know, that says something about us, too. Ha!

8. Chili with cinnamon rolls is a thing.

I spent a week in Wichita, Kansas for my residency and at the retreat center they served chili with cinnamon rolls. Like, as part of the dinner, not as the dessert.

I thought it was so strange that I put it in an Instagram story (of course I did) and heard from so many people who grew up on this. And not just Kansas! I heard from Iowa, Missouri, Colorado, and Nebraska, too. They even served this combo in school cafeterias! Wow.

 

9. Jonathan Edwards was Aaron Burr’s grandfather.

I am sure everyone else knew this but I did not! And now that line in Wait for It make’s sense: “My grandfather was a fire and brimstone preacher (preach-a, preach-a, preach-a) . . . ” Thank you, Hamilton soundtrack, for teaching me so much about Aaron Burr, sir.

10. Krispy Kreme gives a free donut for every report card A.

Never mind that donuts aren’t that expensive. This is so fun and I did not know this all this time! It almost makes me forgive them for their gross misuse of the letter K.

***

I keep track of what I’m learning by using my seasonal reflection lists. You can get your own printable lists for tracking your reflections by signing up right here. If you’re new around here and want to know what, how, and tools to track what you’re learning, check out A New Page for Your Bullet Journal.

Some linking tips: 

  • Just use your name for the “link title” – it’s simpler
  • Be sure to link back here on  your post so your readers can join in!


Let’s Share What We Learned This Summer

Welcome to What We Learned, where we pause to reflect on the past season before we move ahead into the future. At the end of this post, you’re invited to link up to your own list of what you learned this quarter – be it silly, serious, sacred, or just plain useful. I like to share a mix of all of those.

What We Learned Summer 2017

If you’re visiting for the first time from my podcast The Next Right Thing, welcome! We do this every quarter and will share our next list (What We Learned in Fall) on Thursday November 30. Grab your free printable list here to help you keep track and plan to share with us then.

Here are 10 things I learned this summer in no particular order.

 

1. It’s no good to save your abilities for later.

“Very often people seem afraid to put their own capabilities to use, as though one could save one’s abilities and draw interest on them.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

This line in Eleanor Roosevelt’s little book, You Learn by Living stuck with me. The more I study the intersection of faith and creativity, the more I see how fear keeps people from moving toward what makes us come alive. Following your desire and calling is not a selfish endeavor. It’s vital to the Body of Christ.

You Learn By Living

2. The Popcast is better than People magazine.

I’ve been listening to The Popcast for a while now, but this summer has sealed the deal for me: I officially choose Knox and Jamie over People magazine for my pop culture news. I knew this when, on an airplane, I had a crisp new People right there in my hand and I chose to listen to The Popcast instead.

\

Knox McCoy, Kendra Adachi, me, and Jamie B. Golden

If you like strong opinions on “things that entertain but do not matter” listen and subscribe to The Popcast now. Like, right now.

 

3. It’s MANwich, not Mamwich.

My entire childhood history has shifted on its axis this summer when I finally read the can of sloppy Joe sauce – John! Wait! It’s MAN-wich. Like a sandwich for a MAN?!

Uh, yeah.

Wait, WHAT?! I thought it was MAM-wich. Always. Forever! It’s always been MAM-wich right? 

Nope.

Hold please while I re-think everything.

 

 

4. Schmidt was on Gilmore Girls.

Schmidt from New Girl (Max Greenfield) appeared Gilmore Girls Season 4 Episode 4 “Chicken or Beef?” I was re-watching and heard a familiar albeit slightly higher pitched voice. It’s Schmidt!

schmidt on gilmore girls

 

5. A 93.8% eclipse is not the same as a 100% eclipse.

I knew this. But I learned it first-hand this summer, as reflected in this post I wrote: For All the Sad Americans Who Missed the Total Eclipse.

emily p freeman

 

6. When you see the quiet faith of a woman who is 104, it changes you.

Visiting John’s grandmother in Memphis this summer was a gift. She’s adorable, quick-witted and remarkably present. She drives, lives by herself, goes to Wal-Mart, teaches 1st grade Sunday school.

And she is 104.

She is kind of a miracle. Or a unicorn. Or both.

Listening to her talk simply about her faith in Jesus brought tears to my eyes, over and over again. Upon reflection, I realized why.

It’s because we are a generation of tired people, longing to see evidence that what we wait for in secret is worth it.

We believe and want help in our unbelief.

Our souls make quiet work of always scanning for truth. When we find it, the tears spill over and take us by surprise.

 

7. Collections makes Instagram more fun + useful.

I learned by accident what most of you have probably known for a hundred years: that when you see a photo on Instagram you can not only bookmark it and save it (I’ve known that for a while) but if you hold down the bookmark icon on the photo, your collections pop up at the bottom of the screen and you can file it immediately! Saves so many steps.

Instagram Tips

8. Don’t expect your ideas to explain themselves. That’s not their job.

This is something I’ve been learning for the last three years or so, but I continue to learn it on new levels. Ideas won’t tell you what they are, where they came from, or what they want to become. That’s not their job.

Instead, they simply present themselves and it’s our job to figure out what to do with them. I share more about this process in 8 Ways to Start a Project Even When You Don’t Know What You’re Doing.

 

9. What bothers you is the beginning of redemption. It’s the first step to admitting something is wrong.

Without discomfort, there is no change. In the face of heartbreak, division, longing, confusion, racial tension, terrorism and actual white supremacy, it’s more important than ever for us to be who we uniquely are in Christ.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Let’s be people who are bothered and let it wake us up to action, to movement, and to bear God’s image in the world.

 

10. How to record, edit, and launch a podcast.

image via The Blissful Willow on instagram
image via The Blissful Willow on instagram

I learned that this summer – learned how to record, edit, and launch a podcast. That’s the technical part, though. Really, I learned how to start before I’m ready, how to move even when I’m not sure where I’m going, and how to do the next right thing in love. I’m 5 episodes in and am loving it so far.

You can listen to The Next Right Thing right here (just click on the episode you want) or subscribe in iTunes, SoundCloud or Stitcher.

***

I keep track of what I’m learning by using my seasonal reflection lists. You can get your own printable lists for tracking your reflections by signing up right here. If you’re new around here and want to know what, how, and tools to track what you’re learning, check out A New Page for Your Bullet Journal.

Some linking tips: 

  • Just use your name for the “link title” – it’s simpler
  • Be sure to link back here on  your post so your readers can join in!


Let’s Share What We Learned This Spring

Welcome to What We Learned, where we pause to reflect on the past season before we move ahead into the future. At the end of this post, you’re invited to link up to your own list of what you learned this quarter – be it silly, serious, sacred, or just plain useful. I like to share a mix of all of those.

WWL Spring 2017 epf

Here are 10 things I learned this spring in no particular order.

1. Watching your kids grow up feels like torn lace, like smoke, like wedding mints melting on your tongue.

For several years I’ve been trying to put into words what it feels like to have not-quite-grown kids but also not little kids, either. I was finally able to write my way through it here: What it Feels Like When Your Kids Are Growing Up.

 

2. Clarity cannot be rushed.

Thank you for that, Marie Forleo.

 

3. I prefer half and half to flavored creamer.

This is a small detail of my life. But two years ago I could not have imagined my coffee without flavored creamer. Then I went off sugar for 30 days and used milk instead of fancy creamer and then when I tried the fancy creamer again it tasted like perfume and I haven’t been able to go back.

 

4. The meaning of quid-pro-quo.

I have lived 40 years and never knew what this meant. But then they said it on Designated Survivor so I looked it up. Incase you also don’t know, it means doing something as a favor with an expectation that you’ll get a favor in return. Like, I’ll give you the quid if you give me the quo. That kind of thing.

 

5. If you cook eggs too fast they get tough.

I guess I knew this sort of  but I never thought about why. It’s because eggs are protein! Of course. I listened to this interview with The Barefoot Contessa and she casually mentioned this simple and obvious fact I’ve never thought of before.

 

6. Alcoholism doesn’t have to get the final say.

Dad stopped drinking nearly 30 years ago, but this month brings it all back around again as his first book releases into the world next week.

Mom + Dad

I wish I could tell my ten-year-old self that one day my alcoholic, non-believing-in-Jesus dad would write a book about about God and family and grace and what it means to get along with the people who matter most.

 

7. If God has something to tell me, He won’t let me miss it.

This I’ve learned from Dallas Willard. He writes in Hearing God that when he asks something of God – for direction or clarity in some way – he states it simply and then devotes the next hour or so to “housework, gardening, driving about on errands or paying bills,” things that keep his hands busy but his mind open.

Then he says this: “I’ve learned not to worry about whether or not this is going to work. I know it does not have to work, but I am sure that it will work if God has something he really wants me to know or do. This is ultimately because I am sure of how great and good He is.”

Over the last three months, that has helped me to rest in the midst of my unknowing.

What We Learned - Emily P Freeman

8. Turning 40 is a relief.

I didn’t realize it until after my birthday in April, but I have been symbolically holding my breath for a year in anticipation of this milestone birthday. I wasn’t sure what to expect and I think 39 was somewhat of a grieving for me on many different levels.

As it turns out, I’ve experienced a peace I can’t quite explain over the past month – hopeful for the future, grateful for life, and glad to be growing in wisdom and perspective.

 

9. I crave time with whole-hearted creative women.

In March I spent some time thinking about what it means to be a whole-hearted creative woman and I came up with a list of 8 things whole-hearted creative women do differently. Since then, that phrase has felt glad on my lips. In the last several months, I’ve decided to be intentional with these kinds of women – to learn from them, to work beside them, and to champion their work.

 

10. It all counts.

A short walk around the block, one yoga class per month, writing or reading a paragraph per day, choosing kindness once when you could haven chosen defense – it all counts. Small movement is still movement.

***

I keep track of what I’m learning by using my seasonal reflection lists. You can get your own printable lists for tracking your reflections by signing up right here. If you’re new around here and want to know what, how, and tools to track what you’re learning, check out A New Page for Your Bullet Journal.

Some linking tips: 

  • Just use your name for the “link title” – it’s simpler
  • Be sure to link back here on  your post so your readers can join in!


Let’s Share What We Learned This Winter

Welcome to What We Learned, where we pause to reflect on the past season before we move ahead into the future.

Before I share my list of what I learned this winter, I wanted to be sure you saw these free printable lists we made for you to help keep track of your own reflections.

Download Your Seasonal Lists

seasonal lists

Enter your email below and we'll send  you these printable seasonal lists to keep track of what you're learning. You'll receive both full-page size and journal size. Note: Both Northern and Southern Hemisphere options are included in your download, so be sure to print out the appropriate one.

At the end of this post, you’re invited to link up to your own list of what you learned this quarter – be it silly, serious, sacred, or just plain useful.

I like to share a mix of all of those. Here are 8 things I learned this winter in no particular order.

what we learned winter

1. One of my strengths is the ability to bear witness to grief and/or pain without trying to fix it.

When John and I took the kids to the doctor for shots when they were little, I always felt like a bad mom because it didn’t bother me to watch them get pricked. I mean, I didn’t like it, but I was okay being with them, holding them, and comforting them in the midst of their pain.

And maybe I would have seen that as a strength, except for the fact that my husband always had to leave the room, sometimes in tears. What is wrong with me?!

But then I learned through The Road Back to You Podcast that Enneagram 4s are able to bear witness to grieve and pain without having to fix it. I’ve known I’m a 4 for years now, but this was the first time I realized this comfort I have with grief and pain can actually be a strength to serve others.

2. The Facebook Groups App changed my Facebook experience.

This winter I learned the truth about my Facebook experience – 90 percent of my Facebook time is spent inside private groups.

what we learned

I love these private groups but don’t love having to get on Facebook to get to them. Enter the Facebook Groups app. All of what I want, none of what I don’t want.

3. How to do things one at at a time.

What We Learned

I’ve never really chosen a word for the year, but one thing I have done is choose a theme for a quarter. This quarter’s theme is all about the spiritual practice of doing one thing at a time. I haven’t fully learned that yet but one thing I learned for sure – it’s hard to do one thing at a time.

4. My little Indiana hometown is known around the world.

I grew up on the same street as the hospital where I was born in Columbus, Indiana. I thought every town had colorful ramps in their elementary school, odd sculptures outside the library that looked like elephants legs, and storybook clock towers in the town square.

Columbus, Indiana

Turns out that little town where I’m from is “known around the world for its collection of work by renowned architects, landscape architects, and artists.” The town is referred to as a must-see for any fan of mid-century modern architecture.

A movie called simply “Columbus” debuted at Sundance this year with rave reviews.

Reading about this film has taken me back to my childhood. Now I see the smooth concrete walls of my elementary school and the newspaper offices made of glass with brand new eyes. And I love it.

5. My Grandpa enlisted in the army just a week before Pearl Harbor.

Over Christmas break I signed up for Ancestry.com and I went in deep, y’all. I learned all kinds of things about my family I didn’t know and one interesting fact was that mom’s dad joined the army just a week before Pearl Harbor (and he was 5’8” and weighed 136 pounds at the time.)

I have so many questions about his experience, but there aren’t a lot of answers as he died in the early 2000s. But learning little details about my family from generations back has been fascinating.

6. Wearing tall shoes helps me feel productive.

What We Learned

When my work requires me to do a lot of sitting at my desk, I’ve found it helps my productivity to wear my tall shoes on those days. I’m 5’4 on a good day, so when I get up from my desk to refill my coffee and all of a sudden I’m 5’9? It’s time to change the world!

7. Though I pride myself on embracing mystery + curious questions, I would secretly prefer everything have a reason.

I threw my back out a few weeks ago and spent a few days walking around hunched over like the old lady version of myself. My mother-in-law gifted me a massage and when I went, the therapist told me the side of my back that was not injured was actually more tight than the one I injured.

“Is that weird?” I asked, wanting her to diagnose my problem.

“It’s just information,” she answered.

And I realized in that moment that a lot of my life I’ve spent asking is that weird? in various situations, wanting to find a reason or explanation for things. I’m learning the importance of simply letting things be what they are without demanding a reason or an explanation. Everything doesn’t have to have a story. Some things just are.

8. Pinto beans make me happy.

I’ve been craving beans lately. I made pinto beans for the first time this winter and topped them with some sour cream and salsa and cilantro and then I died of happiness. What took me so long?

***

I keep track of what I’m learning by using my seasonal reflection lists. You can get your own printable lists for tracking your reflections by signing up at the top of the posts or right here.

Some linking tips: 

  • Just use your name for the “link title” – it’s simpler
  • Be sure to link back here on  your post so your readers can join in!


A New Page For Your Bullet Journal

Don’t use a bullet journal? This post is still for you if you 1. Love lists 2. Value thoughtful reflection 3. Need a little extra help to keep track of what you’re learning. (Don’t miss the free download at the end of the post!)

About four years ago, I discovered a practice that I’ve fallen in love with as it’s helped me feel more present in my own life. It’s the practice of keeping track of what I’m learning – from the serious, the sacred, the silly or the just plain useful.

Many of you have joined me in looking back before we move forward. Doing it together makes it more fun.

What We Learned

The practice of paying attention to what we’re learning serves as an anchor for the soul in a fast-moving world. Instead of waiting for the world to stop so we can catch up, we slow ourselves, look around, and name what we see.

So this is your handy guide to help you know what to track, how to track it, and when to link up with us here.

How Tracking Can Help You

One of the comments I get from people most often is that they keep meaning to join us but they can’t think of one thing they’ve learned.

The problem isn’t they aren’t learning. The problem is they aren’t keeping track.

Personally, writing is how I know what I think about things. But tracking what I’m learning helps me understand who I’m becoming.

One way to decide what you should keep track of is to go back in your mind to the end of each year.

What do you tend to think about right before the turn of a new year? 

  • think ahead into the next year to make goals and cast vision?
  • reflect about family or relationships?
  • wish you could remember insights from books you read?
  • feel discouraged about your lack of progress on certain projects?
  • like to collect interesting facts and historical tidbits to impress party-goers? (That sounds like a killer party, by that way. Historical tidbits!)

When you think about the way you reflect at the end of the year, this will help to inform the types of thing you may want to track as the year goes by.

This will be a useful tool for you — instead of trying to reflect on an entire year at once by pouring over long-form journals or trying to remember where to find that quote from that book you read last February, you can simply pull out your simple lists of what you were learning as you learned it rather than trying to remember after the fact.

What to Track

The beauty of this practice is you can tailor it to your own life. There’s no wrong! But if you need a little extra clarity on what to keep track of, here are some examples of things I write down on my own lists:

Family //

  • When I learn something new or interesting about a family member ex: My grandfather joined the war five days before the attack on Pearl Harbor. 
  • My kids say or do something surprising, funny, or thoughtful that I don’t want to forget ex: Luke has started writing raps and it’s fantastic.

Work //

  • What’s life-giving and what’s life-draining when it comes to my work. ex: I love to teach webinars. Who knew?
  • Insights I have about the work I’m doing. ex: Creative work no one knows about is hard work to finish.

Wins //

  • When I learn how to do something new that I’ve never done before. ex: I launched my first online course!
  • A moment worth celebrating ex: One of my books released in Dutch!

Struggles //

  • Something I want to get better at. ex: I’m learning how to rest and it’s ironically hard work.
  • Relational interactions I realize I want to change or improve. ex: I’m not a great initiator.

Favorites //

  • Favorite shows and movies. ex: This Is Us makes me feel better about the world.
  • Shoes and clothes that work well. ex: I found my favorite shoes for airplane travel!

Life Hacks //

  • Stuff my phone can do that I never knew was possible ex: Holding down your finger on the screen of an Instagram story will pause the video. What?!
  • Recipe short cuts and/or new family favorites. ex: My daughter is obsessed with enchiladas. Make these more often!

Things that make you go hmmm //

  • Only eat oysters in months with an “R”
  • My doctor is married to my news anchorman. True story!

Entertainment //

  • Fun celebrity facts ex: Keifer Sutherland has a twin sister. 
  • Interesting tidbits about history or public figures. ex: The First Family pays for their own food bill.

Spiritual //

  • Things I learn about myself ex: The most difficult person to be kind to is me.
  • Things I learn about God ex: Instead of a map, God offers me his hand.

And on it goes. Our lives are lived in our everyday moments and this is the best way I’ve found to hold those moments, learn what they have to teach, and move forward with a lighter heart.

Some of these things are more serious or important than others, but keeping them all on one list helps to remind me how life has many colors and depths and I do best when I am willing to hold them all together, sacred and silly alike.

Those are some examples of what to track. Now here’s some tips on how to track them.
bullet journal

How I Keep Track of What I’m Learning

When it comes to keeping track of what I’m learning, simple is good and right and just my style.

This is my third year using a bullet journal. If you’ve never heard of that (Is that possible? Seems like everyone is talking about it these days!) it isn’t a specific journal. It’s a note taking system created by Ryder Carroll.

For the past two years I’ve used this Miquelrius soft bound journal with graph paper lines but this year I’m trying the Leuchtturm 1917 with dots (I have the Emerald one but the others less expensive) although you can use any journal you like.

Here’s the Miquelrius on the left, the Leuchtturm on the right.

bullet journals

And if you’re anything like me, you want to know what the actual pages look like, so here’s a peek inside (Miquelrius is the graph and the Leuchtturm is the dots).

A New Page for Your Bullet Journal

The way I keep track of what I’m learning is simple.

I make my to-do list for the day with the date at the top of a page in my bullet journal. As something comes to mind, I simply mark it down on my to-do list with a WWL signifier (WWL = What We Learned).

Bullet Journal

Then at the end of the month, I go through and find all the WWLs in that month’s pages and collect them all on one page like this:

What I Learned

This is how I kept track for years in my bullet journal. Sometimes they might not make sense to someone else reading them, but typing them up for the blog is a great way to elaborate and explain them.

Whenever I share my own lists, I host a link up here on the blog to invite you to share your own lists. I used to do this every month, but late last year I made an important change to my system.

From Months to Seasons

Last year, I started paying attention to how I most prefer to plan and vision for my work and my life.

I realized that at the end of each month, I often felt pressured to come up with something meaningful I was learning. I struggled to sum up deeper thoughts or reflections that take longer than 30 days to sink in.

But I already knew I couldn’t wait until the end of the year to consider what I’ve learned – that’s too long. By the time I sit down to think over the past year in December, it’s hard to remember October, much less what happened way back in February.

What We Learned

I’ve found the sweet spot for me is about 90 days. I’m not the only one (see The 12 Week Year.)

I thought about how often times the more serious things I’m learning tend to go along with the seasons. Themes of waiting and listening in the dark tend to rise to the surface during Advent. Themes of growth and new life emerge in spring. You see how this is going?

If it’s good enough for nature, it’s good enough for me.

The three month span of time has become one of my favorite ways to plan and, in turn, my new favorite way to record what I’m learning.

Around the end of each season, I gather up my list and share it with you here, always happy to invite you to share yours as well.

If you use the bullet journaling system, I hope I’ve inspired you to add a new page to it called What I’m Learning. And at the end of the season, you can share your list with us!

For the Bullet Journalers + the Non-Bullet Journalers

Whether you use a bullet journal or not, I have something I hope will make it easier for you to track what you’re learning each season.

How to Keep Track of What You're Learning

It’s a printable list, one for each season.

And if you are in the Southern Hemisphere, we didn’t forget you! Even though it blows my mind that the seasons are opposite in the two hemispheres, we wanted to make sure there is a collection for you no matter where you live, so this download includes seasons for each hemisphere with the months to match.

There are also two sizes – a full page size and a half page that fits nicely within a journal.

Here’s mine I started for What I Learned in Winter:

bullet journal page

I just washy-taped it right in there onto my journal page and love it so much. We still have one month left before we share our What I Learned posts at the end of February, so I hope these printables can be that extra support you need to start keeping track today. Just scroll down to enter your email so we can deliver your lists.

Download Your Seasonal Lists

The soul is often forgotten beneath the demands of everyday life. It’s easy to get tangled up in a fast-paced world, distracted by hustle, driven to produce, hungry to ship.

One way to slow the hustle is to practice paying attention to your own life.

Sign up here to receive your printable lists to help you keep track of what you're learning - one for each season of the year.

Note: You will receive both Northern and Southern Hemisphere options in your download, so be sure to print out the appropriate one.

Happy learning!

2018 What I Learned Link Up Dates:

Wednesday, February 28

Thursday, May 31

Friday, August 31

Friday,  November 30

Add them to your calendar so you don’t forget to come share your lists with us!

3 Gentle Ways to Review Your Life in the New Year

I have grown to love the practice of reflection, of looking back before we move forward. We do it quarterly together here when we share our What We Learned lists, and at the end of the year the whole world seems to get on board.

But reviewing our lives can quickly lead to overwhelm if we try to follow too many systems, fill out too many sheets, or create too many goals for the future.

A Gentle 3 Step Reflection

Whether you’re peering into the last twelve months or simply the last week, I’m discovering simple ways of reflecting that help my soul breathe.

The practice of paying attention serves as an anchor for the soul in a fast-moving world. Instead of waiting for the world to stop so we can catch up, let’s slow on purpose, look around, and simply name what we see.

Here are 3 simple ways to reflect on your life while still leaving some room for your soul.

1. Create a Life Energy List

When I need to know how things or going and what I can begin to potentially phase out of my life (if possible) or add more (if needed), I make what I call a Life Energy List. It’s simple and revealing and here’s how it works:

Gentle Reflection for A New Year

Reflect back on a period of time (it could be as small as the past 24 hours or as large as the last 12 months) and consider what was life-draining and what was life-giving.

You can do this in whatever areas are most relevant for your life right now. For me, I tend to reflect on these three main areas.

Personal //

  • spiritual disciplines
  • mentoring relationships
  • Sabbath practices
  • movement + exercise
  • family travel
  • reading habits

Relational //

  • community group activity
  • volunteer commitments
  • mastermind groups
  • time with friends
  • date nights
  • daily life with family
  • time with other couples

Actionable // 

  • content creation
  • business partnerships
  • daily schedule
  • workshops
  • meal planning
  • work related travel
  • professional development
  • managing
  • new projects

I may not always have something for each of these sub areas, but I look at the main three (Personal, Relational, and Actionable) and consider the events of the past, hold them for a moment in my mind, and ask myself if they gave life or drained life.

I never have to think twice or wonder. I always know as soon as I name them. You will, too.

 

2. Do a photo look-back

One of my favorite ways of reflecting is to peruse back through my photo library. No words required, just photos and video of the days past.

While the magazines and news anchors are choosing their most fascinating people of the year and their most compelling global headlines, looking back through personal photos helps me to focus on the important headlines in our own family and meaningful moments we shared.

2016 top nine

For example, here are my top nine Instagram photos from the year as determined by number of likes. Y’all did good.

It’s Tuscany with a prayer for those grieving + my family in December + an East Coast sunrise + me signing a few books + a quote from Dad that I just can’t quit + the loveliest street in Jerusalem + letting the ocean preach the sermon + my family in June + celebrating smallness at a cabin in the woods.

Perusing your photos is a great way to remember an insight from that book you read, that forgotten moment on your family vacation, or a breakfast you shared with friends one random Saturday morning.

Reflection doesn’t always have to lead to greater productivity or setting a goal. Sometimes it’s just about settling down to listen to your own life and appreciate the humans who live their lives beside you.

 

3. Review your monthly/quarterly What I Learned Lists

Okay so you probably don’t keep a running list of what you’re learning. If you do, yay! It’s a great way to review the past.

But if you don’t, I would love to invite you to begin one as a simple way to document your life in the new year.

I’ve so enjoyed the practice of keeping these lists – formerly at the end of each month, now pared down to the end of every quarter. (Our next link up list will be February 28 if you want to start adding to your own What I Learned This Winter list).

But reading over these lists, even though a lot of the content is silly, it helps me remember who I was this year, what made me laugh, what gave me pause, and what I enjoyed.

All of these things are important in life both the silly and the sacred make up our lives. Here’s How I Keep Track of What I’m Learning. Steal these ideas and make them better!

I hope you’ll take a little time to lean your head gently against the heartbeat of your life and discover what brings you joy, what feeds your soul, and how your friend Jesus might want to lead you into the next moment to come.

Download Your Seasonal Lists

seasonal lists

Enter your email below and we'll send  you these printable seasonal lists to keep track of what you're learning. You'll receive both full-page size and journal size. Note: Both Northern and Southern Hemisphere options are included in your download, so be sure to print out the appropriate one.