way to make a freak feel normal

Today I’m going to take advantage of you. Because you are reading and available and oh-so-willing.

I recently posted about going to my sister’s house when the man was out of town. I also mentioned the fact that I’m more than a little nervous when I have to stay by myself. Sometimes I feel so childish for always begging my mom to drive 2 hours to come stay with me and keep me safe (all 5 foot 2 inches of her). Reading some of your comments from that post, I was so glad to discover that you are scaredy cats too (some of you with good reason…yikes, Jennifer P)! So what I want to know is, do you have a plan?

I have a plan that always involves the house phone on the table next to my bed and my cell phone on the pillow next to me (in case the killer cuts the house phone wire). Before kids, my plan was to sleep with my bedroom door locked and, if I heard a killer, to grab a phone, run to the closet, climb in the attic and call the police. But we’ve moved so our attic entrance is no longer in the closet. And now I have all these kids so climbing in the attic alone would just be wrong.

So I have a new the-killer’s-in-the-house plan. I can’t tell you the details though because, well…you know. You might be a killer.

And while I’m at it, maybe you could help me out in some other potentially it’s-normal-to-me-but-I-might-be-a-freak situations:

1. When you were a kid, did you think it was ok to pee in the pool?
Ok, so IT’S NOT, right? Because I never did, but a few summers ago, I realized many of my dear, normal and respectable friends would go in the corner and…pee. And they thought it was totally ok. Shocking.

2. Do you time yourself when you go to the grocery store?
When I go into the grocery store, I look at the clock and predict what time I will be leaving. If I’m right, I win!

3. And it’s not about me, but I’ve really been wondering: Does my son have unusually large feet, or does it just seem that way to me? He is 21 months old and he wears a size 8…comfortably. As in, he’ll probably be in a 9 this summer. Is that normal?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on these. I have tons more, but I thought I would start small…work my way up to the “words I hate” list and the underwear issues.