I cried through communion yesterday and I still don’t know why. Instead of falling into the pattern of feeling either apologetic about my tears or grasping for a way to explain them to myself, I’m learning to embrace this sometimes oddly timed emotion and allow it to simply be. Everything doesn’t need an explanation.
While I think it’s important to listen to our tears, that doesn’t always mean we’ll get a diagnosis. I chose instead to let them fall, took the bread and the cup and thought about the kingdom of heaven.
“Jesus promises us the kingdom of heaven: more compassion, more, love, more spirit, more mercy, more justice, more courage, more surprise. Everything but more money. The regular practice of Communion is meant to help move us from being the citizens of an empire to the citizens of heaven.”
Nora Gallagher, The Sacred Meal: The Ancient Practices Series
Being a citizen of heaven means living upside down. We already know the first are last, the last are first. The rich are poor, the poor are rich. The strong are weak, the weak are strong.
Maybe being a citizen of heaven also sometimes means the talkers will learn to listen. Maybe I’m making that up.
I wrote about listening at (in)courage this weekend because I believe good listeners can change the world. I know this because they’ve changed mine.
Communion is a kind of listening. We may come to the table distracted and bustling on the inside, but the elements remind us of a different way to live, offering a different kind of food that comes from another land, the original comfort food.
We eat and drink and remember Christ, not just who he was on earth but who he is within us today – stumbling through Monday, jotting down the grocery list, planning out the week. More importantly, Monday brings the opportunity again to see people and to listen to them. Do we really know how to do that?
Communion is a reminder that God hears us and came down to be with us. The company of Jesus is stunning, really. How can we offer his company to others? The simplest (and also the the hardest) way I can think of is to learn to listen without an agenda.
Want some good books on listening? I have a library of them. Here are three I highly recommend, using affiliate links because that’s just good business:
Listen In: Building Faith and Friendship Through Conversations That Matter
Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation
The Listening Life: Embracing Attentiveness in a World of Distraction
Basically if it were possible to combine the voices of Dallas Willard, N. D. Wilson and Jim Gaffigan, then what you would get is Adam S. McHugh. His writing is profound, lyrical and self-deprecating in all the right ways. There are few books I want to start again once I’ve finished. The Listening Life is now one of them. I adore this stunning, important book and want to give it to everyone I know.
May we learn to build in pauses before we speak and sometimes decide not to say all those words at all. Happy listening!
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Bethann says
July 13, 2015 at 10:27 AMThanks for encouraging emotions and not trying to figure it out at times. I too have been crying lately, and I immediately want to analyze the tears…but communion lets me rest and listen to God. I needed your words today. Also, thank you for the reading list! I have never heard of Parker J. Palmer (!) but will remedy that quickly!
cheryl says
July 13, 2015 at 12:01 PMEmily, perhaps you would also like a lovely book that just came out by Susan Phillips. I heard her speak on it just recently. The Cultivated Life; from Ceaseless Striving to Receiving Joy. She includes chapters on friendship and listening as well as other practices for living closer to ourselves and to God.
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_3_14?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=susan+phillips+the+cultivated+life&sprefix=susan+phillips%2Caps%2C267&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Asusan+phillips+the+cultivated+life
Teresa says
July 13, 2015 at 12:41 PMI’ve been realizing more and more lately that I need to cultivate listening. Especially for God’s voice. Thanks for the reminder.
Suzanne says
July 13, 2015 at 3:22 PMI loved the blog this weekend and this one today. Asking questions and just listening is so important. I have worked on this in my classroom before, and your blog reminded me of the importance of focusing on this as the year starts with my students. Thank you for allowing Father to speak through you.
NancyR says
July 13, 2015 at 6:46 PMEmily, your blogs always allows my soul to breathe. For a while now, I start weeping in church whenever we sing about how much God loves me. If it was just a few tears and I could stop, it would not bother me so much. But I sometimes want to sob deeply and so I leave and sob in the car. I wish I thought it was “acceptable” to sob in church. I don’t want to make others feel embarassed so I leave.
Lisa Hurley says
July 13, 2015 at 11:35 PM“Everything doesn’t need an explanation.” Oh how desperately I am trying to pay attention to this truth! As a constant over-analyzer, I process everything to very last detail. My head is a very busy place and if I ever shed tears (whether I’m in the Communion line or the checkout line), I immediate begin examining my childhood, my relationships, and my personality. Rarely, if ever, do I silence my mental chatter long enough to listen and let the answer find me… even if the answer is simply the peace of not needing one. Thanks for this.
Whitney says
July 14, 2015 at 9:54 AMI never thought of communion this way before. Thanks for sharing your insight. 🙂
Becky Jones says
July 14, 2015 at 3:55 PMPowerful ideas here. I have been thinking about this lately….how terrible we’ve gotten at listening. I think social media trains us to talk at each other…and so we’re anxious with just being present.
And so listening is kind of becoming an endangered species.
Oddly enough, my hubby is a huge Patrick Rothfuss fan (I mean, he orders the SIGNED POSTER PRINTS of Pat’s FOREIGN LANGUAGE COVER ART), and that first book, The Name of the Wind, begins with “It was a silence of three parts…”
Now, that’s some listening…being able to tease out so many layers of quiet! 🙂
Elizabeth Marshall says
July 14, 2015 at 5:37 PMLoving your words, girl. The ones honed and chiseled out of hard places, the ones melted and poured out like hot liquid, precious metal. #itssimplytuesday is a rich offering from the hands and heart of a master craftsman. You wield a pen like a welder wields his tools. And this..I am a weepy one these days. The tear catcher has a special place for July tears. I just know it.
Christa | BrownSugarToast says
July 16, 2015 at 7:49 AMthis is funny timing. I just wrote about crying through my church’s communion, but for a different reason.
thank you for sharing these thoughts. especially love this truth:
“Communion is a reminder that God hears us and came down to be with us.”
Praise God!!
Susan B Mead says
July 16, 2015 at 9:50 AMemily,
How can we offer his company to others? The simplest (and also the the hardest) way I can think of is to learn to listen without an agenda.
Amen! Powerful words. There are times when tears simply flow. And God collects each one in a bottle as they are precious to Him. So you honored Him with your precious tears at His table.
Thank you. Susan
FYI-You asked what we are reading. May I send you a copy of Dance With Jesus: From Grief to Grace? God shines the brightest light in our darkest moments.
Marian Frizzell says
July 17, 2015 at 11:30 AMI love it when you give reading suggestions. Just put in a request at my library for the Parker J. Palmer book. Thanks for that! {Also, I frequently find myself in tears during communion. I’ve stopped always looking for an explanation and started just being grateful for the ways God is keeping my heart soft.}
Lauren says
July 20, 2015 at 7:38 AMThank you for these book recommendations. I’ve been praying this year about how to be a better friend, and I really think one of the keys is in listening. I’ve become a lazy listener, though, and am asking God to help me ask better questions and dig deep (without meddling) into the lives of those He brings my way. Looking into these books right now…
Charity says
June 9, 2017 at 3:13 PMThanks for the reminder and the challenge in this post. I was also encouraged by the other posts you linked, especially the one on tears.
I know that feeling like someone has heard and understood me is extremely meaningful to me as an INFP–especially since it takes me a while to sort through the thoughts exploding in my head and all their hidden meanings and connections.
For an introvert, I am still a terrible listener though. I am slowly learning that people learn more from watching me than from all my sage advice. Putting it into practice is so hard!
Thank you for exploring these things with us as your readers and helping us learn to take a new perspective on our lives as image bearers.