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emily p. freeman

Creating space for your soul to breathe so you can discern your next right thing.

The Spiritual Discipline of Idleness, Solitude, and Daydreaming

I’m pleased to welcome Shelly Miller here today as her new book, Rhythms of Rest, sings so well with everything we value here in our little Internet space. Shelly knows the importance of creating space for the soul to breathe and I’m deeply grateful for her message.

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From a park bench, beneath a canopy of trees, I hear the distant sound of an ambulance siren and birds chirping in their various “dialects.” A middle-aged couple walks by, heads down, as if I am invisible.

Yellow leaves pirouette six feet above my head onto the pages of my journal. Tick . . . tick . . . tick . . . tic-tic-tic . . . tic-tic-tic . . . raindrops begin to fall, and before I can put my pen and journal inside my bag, the rain ceases.

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Pulling out a cardigan, I wrap it around my shoulders, when a cool breeze chills and blows hair into my face. The sun slowly shifts, creating shadows, a signpost in nature that pulls my mind back to obligation. I begin mentally scouring my refrigerator and pantry for what I can reheat on paper plates for dinner.

For some, brackets of time alone on a park bench to journal the sights, sounds, and smells of a wide expanse in nature is an illustration of extravagant wastefulness. Or a lavish indulgence allotted those who are retired from work life.

What is this accomplishing?

Research reveals that when we relax, or enter into a window of daydreaming, the brain does not slow down or stop working at all, but rather many important mental processes happen during those times in the same physiological way the brain works when we sleep at night.

Accruing evidence suggests that these times of rest are important for recalling personal memories, imagining the future, and feeling social emotions with moral connotations.

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In Sabbath, we allow our brain to make sense of our busy lives. We process what we have learned during the other six days of the week and apply meaning to what we’ve overlooked while moving at a frenetic pace.

Sitting on a park bench, I stare into space, replay conversations, wrestle through unresolved questions like a mathematician solving an equation. I reflect on previous decisions, and during introspection, mull over the events of the past few months. I rewrite negative inner dialogue into a positive, hopeful outlook.

Epiphanies come in the shower, alone on a quiet walk, staring out the window of my office, driving in a silent car, and while listening to the sound of bird chatter in Holland Park.

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In a culture where it is common to attach value with utility, we train ourselves to feel good about our ministries, our church activities, sports teams, livelihoods, and parenting, as long as what we do provides a measure of usefulness and positive calculable outcomes.

In a busy world that prescribes more—more exercise, more diets, more involvement in community, more engagement on social media, more ways to make money, more education, and more resources for ramping up productivity—a rhythm of daily silence and weekly Sabbath is making a (quiet) comeback.

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Solitude is a state of being, an isolation or aloneness that God uses in our lives for specific reasons. And solitude of the heart is an attitude of quietness; a state of living unguarded, confident, and stable despite circumstance.

The more we experience the work of solitude within us, we begin to identify the rested from the restless, the discontented from the contented, the broken from the whole; we begin to decipher failure, missteps, and successes through a heart aching for eternity

Have you trained yourself to pause?

Do you pay attention to your heart, warning you it’s time to slow down?

Or do you need someone to tell you to stop because you’re too busy to notice the warning signals?

Rhythmic pauses help us remember where we are going when life becomes crowded and disorienting.

MillerFamilyLondon2015-49Shelly Miller is a veteran ministry leader and sought-after mentor on Sabbath-keeping. She leads the Sabbath Society, an online community of people who want to make rest a priority, and her writing has been featured in multiple national publications.

Her first book, Rhythms of Rest: Finding the Spirit of Sabbath in a Busy World, is now available. Find more of Shelly’s writing at ShellyMillerWriter.com and connect on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram where she loves to share photos of the beautiful places she visits while living as a committed immigrant in London.

Filed Under: books I've read (or want to read), breathe

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Terah says

    October 21, 2016 at 9:00 AM

    I just found my next book to read. THANK YOU for this divinely appointed post, placed perfectly in my life today. ❤️ LOVE.

    Reply
  2. Ellen says

    October 21, 2016 at 10:18 AM

    Amen! I made keeping the sabbath a New Year’s Resolution a few years back. It has made such a difference in my life. Recently, I’ve begun to fill up my sabbath time and I’m noticing that difference as well. Thank you for the reminder to make opportunities for rest. And yes, If there is an epiphany to be had for me…it always happens in the shower. Our brains need that lull in work in order to sort all the messages it’s taken!

    Reply
  3. Debbie says

    October 21, 2016 at 11:38 AM

    I thought it was so appropriate that she opens this article by sitting on a park bench! #simplytuesday

    Reply
  4. Joan Marie Shepherd says

    October 21, 2016 at 1:05 PM

    Thank you for sharing this, Emily…and Shelly…my husband and I have found a lot of our days this past year have followed this pattern, following the sudden loss of our son last November…

    While the ‘be productive’ side of our brains are screaming — “do something productive” I have experienced the progressive healing and peace that abides in the times of solitude and daydreaming, reminiscing and observing beautiful vignettes of nature surrounding us…

    Floods of emotions of all sorts, recalling various scenarios of our life with John for 26 years, can be heartbreaking at times, but the Holy Spirit has continually comforted us and moved us forward. It has been a major shift from the non-stop activities we engaged in for so very many years while operating a restaurant.

    I am thankful that we have had the moments to move to this place of solitude and are experiencing peace, I just look back and realize how beneficial it would have been to have had the Sabbath space in our lives to re-center from the craziness of the industry we were in, while he was with us in the earth…

    Reply
    • Joan Marie Shepherd says

      October 21, 2016 at 1:08 PM

      …just went to amazon kindle to begin reading today!

      Reply
      • Lynn D. Morrissey says

        October 22, 2016 at 1:47 PM

        Joan, my heart was so touched by reading your words here. I’m so very sorry for the loss of your precious son–I can’t imagine. May the Lord grant you peace in your solitude, joy in your remembrance of him. I pray you will find a way to write out your memories because of your love for your son and to bring continued balm to your soul.
        Love,
        Lynn

        Reply
    • Susy says

      October 21, 2016 at 10:08 PM

      You’ve given me so much perspective as I put my kids to bed tonight. May you continue to be comforted in those still moments you’re finding.

      Reply
  5. Natalie says

    October 21, 2016 at 4:34 PM

    These reminders are a blessing. Sabbath and frenetic won’t inhabit the same space and I do love what rest does for my brain and, in turn, for my soul. Opening space and encouraging a quieter mental soundtrack changes things.

    Reply
  6. Celeste says

    October 21, 2016 at 5:12 PM

    I have found myself these past few mornings rising early, sitting at the table reading and then simply sitting quietly contemplating life as of late. I have at times surmised how foolish this must look to anyone else in my house should they find me sitting in silence.
    I find that following the inner quietness, I am better for the day ahead.

    Reply
  7. Jessica Chance says

    October 21, 2016 at 5:16 PM

    Such a needed article for this particular season of life for me…yet one to also apply for the rest of my life. Appreciated these words and their soul-breathing power.

    Reply
  8. Kaitlin says

    October 21, 2016 at 6:12 PM

    Wow. So profound. Rest is so powerful, and in a busy society, we tend to miss those sweet moments. Thank you for such a word “in season”!

    Reply
  9. Lynn D. Morrissey says

    October 22, 2016 at 1:45 PM

    I’m grateful that Emily has set a table for you to share here today, Shelly, and I love seeing that you are resting midst a busy book tour to enjoy the turning of the seasons, the falling of leaves, the chill in the Texas air (they should send some of that to St. Louis–it’s been way too hot here)! I love that you took your journal to the park. You will appreciate that I love doing that at our Missouri Botanical Garden, which I’m sure you remember from your time here as a child. While there are passersby, when I seek out some quiet nook in the Garden, under some shade tree or near the flourishing roses (or whatever flowers bloom in a season), I still have a feeling of hushed quiet and solitude–just alone with my thoughts and I–well, really alone with the Lord. I have made it my practice over the years to have dates with God–those special trysting times alone with Him–where we can meet on the pages of my journal in a number of lovely settings. I have no idea why, but in rereading your exquisite book today and this lovely post–I was reminded when I wrote about journaling in my very first book proposal (before my book was finally published). And I recall how not only was the proposal sent back with a rejection, but a lambasting from the editor. She was downright angry and told me how no women (implied: in her right mind!) would ever sit around in a park or a sidewalk café to journal–that they were far too busy with important things to do. She strongly implied that I was some flighty, pampered creature without a brain or ounce of industriousness. Frankly, she made me feel really guilty. As I look back on that and what women tell me when they read about these dates in my book, or when I read what you are suggesting throughout your book–that we don’t do guilt when spending time w/ our Maker–I realize that that editor was representative of the very mindset that you are trying to help readers overcome. Whew! Just thinking back on that experience is a real revelation for me. So keep practicing and “preaching” Sabbath. It is God’s gift to be savored and enjoyed, and in a variety of ways. You and I love obviously to do that outdoors, pen in hand. What better way to say thank you than by writing a letter to God, blessing Him for the gifts of Sabbath and Creation He bestows!! I’m so glad you are loving your tour, taking time for respite along the way, and sharing the Truth: Jesus is Lord of the Sabbath, and what better way to honor Him than by enjoying it!
    Love
    Lynn
    And a big thank you to Emily for sharing your wisdom!

    Reply
  10. Nancy Ruegg says

    October 22, 2016 at 2:35 PM

    I was intrigued by the research supporting the act of doing NOTHING — nothing physically productive, that is. Once again, scriptural wisdom is proven right! I, too, have discovered the delight of sitting quietly and expectantly with no agenda but to reflect and meditate. This summer I took to deck-sitting, reveling in the fresh air, the sights and sounds of God’s creation. I sought to listen for what he would say to me–a personal word–and write these reflections in my journal. Such sweet respite from routine and responsibilities! The additional purposes for solitary contemplations that you’ve mentioned here, Shelly, will make worthwhile additions to my reflections: rewriting negative inner dialogue into a positive, hopeful outlook, and the recording of epiphanies before they slip away. Thank you for another meaningful and practical post!

    Reply
  11. Janet from FL says

    October 22, 2016 at 3:35 PM

    The park in your picture is beautiful! I love the big trees of different colors.
    I have been thinking about you, wondering how you are doing on the book tour. I am happy to see that the tour is going well, and you are enjoying it!

    Reply
  12. JFleming says

    October 26, 2016 at 5:10 PM

    Sounds like a great book!

    This post reminds me of a book I just completed – “Zeal without Burnout” by Christopher Ash.

    If like me, you relate more to the “…do you need someone to tell you to stop because you’re too busy…” comment, I’d highly recommend that quick read.

    Reply

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