Even though my head knows the great faithfulness of God and those mercies that never come to an end, sometimes my experience lies and tells me that those mercies are all dried up. I walk around with the footprint of circumstance stamped dark across my face. I’ve been down on the ground, walked on.
Choosing to believe Love and Faithfulness feels absurd sometimes. It is the invisible fight that wears me out, this striving with all His energy. When I know it isn’t up to me, when I remember not I, but He, it is easy to believe. It feels natural and normal and right.
But there are other times when belief feels delicate, as if the smallest shift against it will send it shattering to the ground. It is in the uneasy belief where I think things happen; the unseen things of grace and trust. But just like those pink tulips in my yard planted by those who came before me, I can’t always see the results.