testing

I knew this would happen: as soon as I announced publicly that I am purposing to slow down and notice, I would be tested on every side to do just that. This morning as I was stealing 10 minutes for a shower before The Man left for work, I cringed as one of my children stood at the bathroom door, wailing for me to come out.

As I was cleaning the shower with a Q-tip to avoid the inevitable, I wondered in my head Okay. Where is it? Where is the celebration in this? Because it’s easy to notice the small and lovely things when I’m alone and rested and clean and happy. But when there is a whole day looming ahead and no clean clothes and three children with runny noses?

Things just have to get done. Not to mention the fact that Christmas is three weeks from Thursday.

The day has continued just as it began: if it isn’t a child crying for my attention, then it is the laundry or the fort-covered living room or the Jesse tree ornaments that I still haven’t made/found/bought.

It’s hard to be present when my present seems so imperfect. Today I purposed to notice the little things. But instead of reveling in the hidden blessings, I tripped over the obvious tasks. Instead of being present, I caught myself in a dazed stupor countless times, overwhelmed with the running list in my head.

I think the fact that it is a struggle highlights how important it is to slow down and celebrate smallness. I am thankful for this quiet moment, to know and receive truth. The day was far from perfect. But His mercies are new every morning and His faithfulness is great.

Has anyone else had trouble celebrating what is in the midst of anticipating what is to come?