As we continue to learn what it means to create space for our souls to breathe, I often make it more difficult than it needs to be. The secret to finding peace in the midst of everyday chaos can be as simple as arriving early. I had the pleasure of spending time with Michelle DeRusha a few weeks ago and can tell you that to know her is to love her. I’m grateful her simple, grounding words today.
“If you’re on time you’re late.”
This is my dad’s mantra, repeated time and time again throughout my childhood. More than once my sister was left howling at the end of our driveway, shoes in hand, as my dad drove down the street, my mother in the passenger seat, insisting that he turn the car around and retrieve her. He always did, but we never knew if this was the time Jeanine would finally be left behind.
You’d think, given my history, that I would tend toward either relentless tardiness or PTSD-induced punctuality. But the truth is, I actually like to arrive early. I do it intentionally, purposefully, not just because my dad drilled it into me, but because it’s good for my body, mind and soul.
A fountain splashes behind a weathered brick wall. I can’t see it, but I hear the water, a steady burble mingling with the rustle of maple leaves and the clear, two-note call of a chickadee. Visible above the wall are peaked gables, black-shuttered windows, lace curtains, a wooden pergola covered in lush ivy. A secret garden, perhaps.
I park in this same spot nearly every day at nearly the exact same time – 15 minutes before the middle school bell rings. I ease my mini-van to the curb, click off the ignition, roll down the driver’s side window, slip off my shoes, tuck one foot under my leg, and wait.
I try to resist scrolling Instagram or checking email on my phone. I don’t always succeed, but when I do — when I listen to the fountain and the birds and the wind instead, when I gaze at the pollen sprinkled across the windshield like pixie dust, when I watch the tabby meow at the front door across the street – something subtle but lovely happens.
My jaw unclenches. My shoulders relax. My to-do list recedes into the background. My body and soul breathe.
In short, I retreat. I release my obsession with “getting it done,” my worship of efficiency and productivity. I let myself be, if only for a few moments. I surrender to my senses – the scent of apple blossoms wafting through my open window, the scarlet flash of a cardinal amid verdant foliage.
The school bell rings. I watch the sidewalk reflected in the passenger side mirror. My son is always one of the first out of the building and up the street, his shoulders stopped under the weight of his backpack. In the mirror, I see him turn the corner at the bottom of the hill.
As my son approaches the car, I read the faded type that runs along the bottom of the side mirror. Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear. The same, I think, can be said of our own selves, our lives, our loved ones, our place, our God. They are all closer than we think, closer than they sometimes appear.
Arriving early and sitting still helps me remember that this is true.
A Massachusetts native, Michelle DeRusha moved to Nebraska in 2001, where she discovered the Great Plains, grasshoppers the size of Cornish hens … and God. She is the author of Spiritual Misfit: A Memoir of Uneasy Faith and 50 Women Every Christian Should Know: Learning from Heroines of the Faith.
Michelle writes about living out faith in the everyday at her blog, MichelleDeRusha.com, and she would love to connect with you there or on Instagram.
She lives in Lincoln, Nebraska, with her husband and their two boys.
Pam says
July 14, 2016 at 9:55 AMI wonder if it’s too late for me to become a “if you’re in time you’re late” kind of person – as a type B personality it doesn’t come naturally, but this arrived just as I pulled in 7 minutes early for swim team pick up (a total fluke) and I’m going to turn off my phone to “just be” – Thinking of it as a spiritual practice makes it more appealing and reachable somehow …
emily p freeman says
July 14, 2016 at 11:15 AMI so agree – making it a spiritual practice makes it seem more possible. Maybe because a practice implies you might not be naturally good at it but you can become so with practice. I’m not naturally early, either. But when I practice this, it truly helps!
Donna says
July 14, 2016 at 12:05 PM?Yassss I so agree. Thank you ☺
Michelle DeRusha says
July 14, 2016 at 12:39 PMI agree with Emily, Pam. I may naturally be an “arrive early” person, but I’m not naturally inclined to put down my phone, turn off the radio, and just “be.” That takes intentional practice. But in practicing, I’ve come to see and experience the benefits of taking these few minutes of quiet and solitude, and the lovely benefits I’m noticing in turn compel me to keep practicing it.
Richella Parham says
July 14, 2016 at 10:03 AMOh, I love this! I first met Michelle ages ago when we would both link up to Tuesdays Unwrapped. She is wise and lovely. What an excellent discipline to practice!
emily p freeman says
July 14, 2016 at 11:14 AMSo true! Wise and lovely are great words for Michelle.
Michelle DeRusha says
July 14, 2016 at 12:41 PMHi Richella, it’s good to see you over here at Emily’s place. And thanks for your sweet words – I feel the same about you, girl. 🙂
Richella Parham says
July 14, 2016 at 3:45 PMAren’t you kind, Michelle? Every blessing to you, sweet lady!
Rachelle Gardner says
July 14, 2016 at 1:32 PMOh Michelle. You never disappoint. This is a lovely post! “My jaw unclenches. My shoulders relax. My to-do list recedes into the background. My body and soul breathe.” I’m inspired to get a bit more of this in my life.
Michelle DeRusha says
July 14, 2016 at 3:12 PMI sort of realized that I was never (or rarely) going to get great big swaths of time in which to unclench, so I started to snap up what I could get here and there…and discovered that it made a difference. Thanks for commenting, Rachelle!
Lisa notes says
July 14, 2016 at 3:36 PMMy dad had that same mantra. Being on time equated to being late. I really dislike being late anywhere as a result. The only time I don’t mind being late is to a party where I won’t know anybody anyway; the less time there, the better for this introvert. 🙂
Michelle DeRusha says
July 14, 2016 at 10:35 PMWhat is with the dads and the mantra?! I thought my dad was the only one! 🙂 (I feel the same way about parties, by the way).
Martha Orlando says
July 14, 2016 at 5:20 PMYes, we are all closer than we think . . . And I’m right there with you when it comes to arriving early, Michelle; something my father drilled into us, too, but I’ve adopted it as my own.
Blessings and thank you for this beautiful reflection!
Michelle DeRusha says
July 14, 2016 at 6:05 PMIt’s funny how the habit starts with the dads. 🙂 I resisted it for a while…until I realized the benefits of arriving early and soaking up a bit of peace and quiet. Glad you are enjoying the spiritual discipline of arriving early, too, Martha.
Sarah M says
July 14, 2016 at 5:55 PMI thought I recognized her name but not until I was done reading (I am just like you, Michelle, I LIKE to arrive early!) did I realize she wrote a book I loved– 50 Christian Women. I got so much out of that book, that when I found a book similar “50 People Every Christian Should Know” at the thrift store, I snagged it, only to realize it wasn’t yours! I’ll have to check out your other book, too.
And yay! Another Nebraska girl. 🙂 Born and raised in Lincoln…but now living in Canada. HAH!
Michelle DeRusha says
July 14, 2016 at 6:03 PMSarah! Lovely to meet you here. Thanks for your kind words about 50 Women. That book actually came about as a result of 50 People Every Christian Should Know, which was written by Warren Wiersbe, who also lives in Lincoln…we’re just a big Lincoln party over here today. 🙂
melissa says
July 14, 2016 at 6:25 PMI am not a naturally “arrive early” sort of person. I think it annoys me to wait so I always try to get there one minute before. But I have never really thought about how I could use that wait time, besides tapping my foot and looking at my watch. This article encourages me to consider early minutes God’s time. Amazing change in perspective. Thanks Michelle. I often find spiritual direction in your work.
Michelle DeRusha says
July 14, 2016 at 10:36 PMI’m so glad this offered you another perspective, Melissa. And thank you for your kind words about my writing – I appreciate that so much!
Lyli @3dlessons4life.com says
July 14, 2016 at 11:02 PMI am going to think about you and smile the next time I have 10 minutes before an appointment, Michelle. Thanks for helping me re-shape my thinking on those few precious moments of downtime. You always remind me to look for the beauty.
So lovely to see you here at Emily’s! Thanks for giving us glimpse of Italy on your respective Instagrams. I wanted to jump into the picture every time. xo
Michelle DeRusha says
July 15, 2016 at 3:25 PMAww, thanks, Lyli – you are sweet, friend.
Theresa says
July 14, 2016 at 11:34 PMMy grandfather was like your dad; they both had the same mantra, “If you are on time, then you are late.” I remember going places with him and we were always the first people to arrive. My mom told the story of him and my grandmother arriving at a party before all the other guests. Actually before the hostess had dressed for the party. She answered the door in her pajamas!
It is amazing, though, if we just sit still and unoccupied with stuff, our body does begin to relax and suddenly the day and our to-do list shifts into perspective.
Michelle DeRusha says
July 15, 2016 at 3:24 PMThat is a great story – your grandmother most have been mortified (to say nothing of the host!).
And yes, you hit the nail on the head, Theresa – it’s about the shift in perspective. Suddenly, given a few minutes of peace and rest, the to-do list doesn’t seem as pressing.
Linda Stoll says
July 15, 2016 at 7:21 AMI’m with you, Michelle … I hate the rush, the distraction of arriving late. It feels so right to give myself time and space to move through the day without a frantic pace …
Michelle DeRusha says
July 15, 2016 at 3:22 PMIt’s so simple, right – 10, even 5 minutes, can make the world of difference. Thanks for your comment, Linda. 🙂
Marian Vischer says
July 15, 2016 at 10:42 AMI love this so much. I tend to slide into my destination like a baseball player slides into home plate. I’m getting better {sometimes} but seeing early arrival as a spiritual discipline, a time to unclench my jaw, well — that provides extra incentive. Thank you for this, Michelle!
Michelle DeRusha says
July 15, 2016 at 3:21 PMOh my gosh, Marian, that metaphor made me laugh – good image!
Kristin S says
July 15, 2016 at 11:02 AMI kinda love this.
Kristal Marie says
July 16, 2016 at 4:32 PMThis is so great! As an introvert, I never liked arriving early because I felt awkward and noticed. But thinking about it as an opportunity for rest, changes everything.
Beth williams says
July 18, 2016 at 4:51 PMMIchelle,
I agree with arriving early. I’m not the type to arrive early, but working on it. For one thing leaving so I arrive early allows me to drive more relaxed and less stressed. Getting some place early also give my soul a chance to breathe!
Blessings 🙂
Lidwina says
August 2, 2016 at 11:30 PMI’ve come to think of these moments as ‘ gifts of Time’.
The Lord grants me these moments throughout my day – sometimes through cancelled meetings which previously I would have found frustrating.
Thanks for inspiring us to practice this discipline of being early – a gift of time we can choose to spend wisely.