Lately I have realized that the time had come to sort through and get rid of some of the girls clothes from when they were born. I have gotten rid of a lot already, but the stuff from their first year has been sitting in plastic storage boxes in the attic. Knowing I couldn’t part with all of it, I told myself to just keep those things that held meaning or special memories. I was surprised to discover which items that turned out to be.
Having twin girls will bring outfits out of the woodwork. I was given more matching dresses, jackets, and cute-never-worn hats than I know what to do with. All so small, so detailed, so matching. But it wasn’t the baby Gap outfits that are hard to let go of. It was only when I opened the box labled “6-12 months pjs and onesies” that my eyes welled up and I had to pause and remember. What is it about those worn out, pink, kitty cat jammies with a stain on the sleeve that so swiftly bring tears?
It was like those jammies hold something within them. The babies are growing up, but the jammies are still there, small and faded, as if worn only last night. The jammies represent so much…clean, wet hair after a bath; snuggle time with milk and mommy; sweet dream wishes and baby blankets.
I don’t know what it is about the jammies. But I have to keep them, at least for now. Nobody else would want them anyway. But I look at them, folded away in a plastic bin, and realize we live a thousand lives in one lifetime…and one of those lives has already passed me by. While I lived it, I could hardly wait for it to pass; the sleepless nights, the feedings, the culture shock of firstime motherhood…the first year of having twins. Now that it’s over, I can never get it back.
But I can keep the jammies.