emily p. freeman

Creating space for your soul to breathe so you can discern your next right thing.

10 Things I Learned This Spring

Welcome to What We Learned, a quarterly practice where we pause to reflect on the past season before we move ahead into the future. “It’s not the experience that brings transformation,”says author and teacher Jan Johnson, “it’s our reflection upon our experience.”

If that’s true (and I’m convinced it is) then it’s vital we establish intentional time to reflect on our lives. Reflection is part of my daily and weekly routine, but once a quarter I like to share some of my list and invite you to share yours. Note: Where books are shared, affiliate links are used.

I spent the first week of this season in California but every week after that, like many of you, has been spent under Stay-At-Home orders in North Carolina. Suffice it to say, these last three months will take some time to unpack. But partial reflection still counts so here are 10 things I learned this spring in no particular order:

 

1. Sidecar Doughnuts makes the best doughnut I have ever had.

On March 6, 2020 I was in Southern California on the last day of the last trip I took before the Stay-At-Home orders were in place and I tasted a Sidecar Doughnut for the first time. This pandemical situation has distracted me from this memory which I have now brought forth and is yet another reason why I’m so grateful for the spiritual discipline of reflection. Because behold:

Image from Sidecar Doughnuts & Coffee

This I think is the blueberry one but the one I had: You guys it was the Butter & Salt. A BUTTER AND SALT DOUGHNUT. How did they make two regular ingredients that we all have in our kitchens into a miracle food?

 

2. Starting again doesn’t have to mean starting over.

No matter how long you’ve been away, no matter how far it seems you’ve traveled from the routine or rhythm you once practiced, it’s always only one step back to find the life again. I’ve had to remind myself of this truth over and over again this spring.

 

3. Fifteen minutes of reading in the morning goes a long way.

This spring I’ve finished Will the Circle Be Unbroken? by Sean Dietrich, Searching For Certainty by Shelly Miller, and Life Without Lack by Dallas Willard — mostly by reading with a timer for just 15 minutes in the mornings.

4. I will never regret hanging the hammock chair.

It’s one of those things that looks really good in a magazine photo but when you get it in your house you realize you don’t know where to put a hammock chair, how to hang it, or what to do with your life. But then, when you have to stay home for two months straight, you figure it out. (And by “you” I mean “John” but you could, too. I believe in you.)

 

5. Working from home during a pandemic is not the same as working from home during not a pandemic.

Of course that seems obvious when you say it, but in practice I had an expectation of myself to thrive during these stay at home times because I know how to do this. But turns out, none of us knows how to do this. And that’s okay. I talked about this on my friend Laura Tremaine’s podcast (you can listen to that episode here).

6. Zoom is the worst but also the best.

One of my personal goals at the end of February was have less Zoom meetings. Funny, right? I’ve been learning how to lead a remote team for a few years now, but things seem to have ramped up over the last six months as our hope*writers team has doubled, then doubled again. Even though these one dimensional meetings take double the energy, I’m grateful we have a way to do business and life via the screen.

 

7. It’s rod iron fence, not rot iron fence EMILY.

Every now and then I’ll share about a word I learn I’ve been saying wrong for my whole life. Thank you, Shelly Miller, for writing this in your book for me to read and finally learn this one. Rot iron?! What does that even mean? [Edited to add: The people have spoken and I have heard from eleventy hundred people that the word is, in fact, wrought iron. And now my head has exploded the end.]

 

8. Having a good system is not equal to living a good life.

What was good for yesterday may not be good for today and blanket solutions aren’t always ideal. My next right thing may be different than my last right thing. This was a relief to talk myself through (you can listen in on that conversation here for twelve and a half minutes).

 

9. Together from a distance is better than apart.

My parents came on my birthday at the end of April and we hadn’t seen them in months. We kept a safe distance and that made it difficult and frustrating and sad. But it was better than being apart.

10. It will not always be this way.

I keep learning this over and over again, but this spring this statement has been both a comfort and a grief. We’re in the middle of a pandemic: it will not always be this way. My teenagers are home: it will not always be this way. I’m tired, a little lonely, and sad. It will not always be this way.

Now it’s your turn. What’s something you’ve learned this season?

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. As always, Emily, there is so much good truth here. Thank you for continuing to be such a source of wisdom, encouragement, and inspiration for the contemplative life. Numbers 2 and 8 are particularly standing out to me. . . this INFJ TYpe 1will need to mull over those for a while.

    I grew up in Southern California and return often, but have never been to Sidecar Doughnuts! Also, you are not alone in thinking it was a “rot iron fence.” How did I not know this?

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  2. “Together from a distance is better than being apart” and “Zoom is the worst but also the best” … both so true. While I’m grateful for the technology that has enabled me to stay connected to family and friends during shutdown, nothing beats real time together! I really enjoy reading your seasonal reflections, Emily.

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  3. I can’t believe I have never read an entire book by Dallas Willard. Life Without Lack is on my list.
    And I am also counting #10.
    Trusting, too, not to waste the lessons of this season.

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  5. Cut yourself some slack for not knowing something, like a word you misunderstood. We’ve all done it and will do it again, no matter our education or anything else.

    That said, it could also be “wrought iron fence.” It’s different than a rod iron fence, but I’m guessing that’s where you got the word “rot.”

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    • Haha – I was coming on here to say I always thought it was “wrought iron” … (but I wanted to spell it “wraught” which is not even a word). Ha! So we were all kind of right?? Maybe? 🤣 I always love these posts. Thanks for the inspiration to reflect!

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      • OHHH!! There is a wrought iron?! Well that must be where I got it then. Except confession: I thought it had something to do with rot. Like, it’s rusty! It’s a rot iron fence!

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        • I started wondering if “wrought iron” vs. “rod iron” was a regional difference, since I live in New England. Comment thread has cleared up what everyone means here!

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          • It is wrought iron, actually. That’s what you would call the stuff that they make into stair railings or a fence. Rod iron is used to make nails. Google said that rod iron is metal cut from an iron bar.

  6. Wait, it’s “wrought iron,” meaning worked or shaped (by a blacksmith) and distinguished from cast iron.

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  9. I had my first real doughnut in 9 years this month – it was gluten and dairy-free! Bliss. Actually my daughter bought a boxful for us to share. And am chuckling about the wrought iron fence. That’s what we call it in Australia. Maybe in the US it’s a rod iron fence. Also, from your newsletter, I’m glad I’m not the only one to lose any semblance of morning/evening routine and to find work and home merging more than ever. Love your words and photos.

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  10. No, it’s not “rot,” but it’s not “rod,” either, at least in most usage. Wrought iron is iron that has been worked. Think of “What hath God wrought?” Not iron, certainly, but “wrought” is an excellent term. Cast iron, as in skillet, is iron that has been poured rather than worked. I think “rod iron” is a term that’s used in industry, but it certainly wouldn’t apply to decorative stairways or patio furniture. Our language is complex in its current form, but when you take into account its history? No wonder we’re often confused!

    Blessings and love to you as you end this crazily memorable quarter.

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  11. I’m reading Life Without Lack, after reading In Want + Plenty, both at your recommendation – THANK YOU! 😊

    Here in England (UK) we talk of wrought iron fences… x

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  13. Emily, thank you for leading us in these monthly reflections.

    It’s “wrought iron” fence, because the iron is heated and bent or hammered to make The fence, as opposed to cast iron which is melted and poured Into a mold to make a skillet or something.

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  14. of us saying…no it’s wrought iron fence or wrought iron railings etc. But hey we all learn from each other and I learned to repeat that this will not last forever. ( But it has certainly lasted) It sure makes me appreciate what I took for granted.

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  15. LOL, I always thought it was wrought iron fence, too. But nowadays wrought is not a word on our radar, is it?

    Your whole list resonates with me, especially #10. I’m reminded of the saying, “This, too, shall pass.” I always thought it was biblical but I need to look it up and see if that is true. Sounds very King James-ish, doesn’t it?

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  16. I have some history with rod iron too. I always thought that’s what it was. “Rod” like a round cylinder shaped metal. But I learned it was actually “wrought” because it’s shape was changed/forged and bent into a design. Never thought of it as “rot” though, you get full credit on that one!

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  19. I think this is what I have learned from the pandemic, sheltering in place that we have and are experiencing:
    Time passes quickly no matter what we are doing, so make the most of each moment, each day,
    and each month.
    Thank you for your reflections. I enjoyed this post.

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  20. I thought it was “wrought iron fence.” So many possibilities! And I keep saying it won’t be like this. It was my little bit of encouragement to end a interview with our church pastor about what I’m learning (recorded in April, though, so who knows what I’d say now!)– we don’t know how or when it will end, but it will end.

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  21. Those doughnuts look amazing! I needed to hear #2 today. Thank you for that. It has been extremely difficult to have to distance from family during the quarantine, but you’re right, it is better to be separate together instead of apart. Hope you have a great summer!

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  22. Thanks, Emily, for a good laugh! I needed it on this rainy, gloomy day when I’ve been struggling with emails – did I send that one out or not? If I didn’t, she will not have the right lessons for her online Sunday School class this month. Arrgh!!
    The rod iron fence was the most funny! I could just hear you saying that aloud, including EMILY in caps to indicate “duh! really?! How did I not know this?” So, thanks for the laugh. The other would be zoom. Never have I had so many zoom meetings, and for church at that. It’s lovely to see my church peeps’ faces but I’m tired of constantly adjusting my ipad so all of my face shows and then noticing my 65-yr-old neck (yuck!!). However, I’m grateful for the technology we do have so we can still “have church” together. Thanks for your ministry to us and for your sense of humor during this difficult time.

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  23. Emily – Thank you for sharing another great post full of honesty, wisdom and encouragement. Thank you, too, for challenging others to pay attention and see what they hear. It has been life saving for me. See my blog to see what I learned in spring 2020 – “Laughter, Face Time (no screen or internet required) and Looping – What I Learned in Spring 2020”.

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