You know how people say bigger isn’t always better? I guess I agree with that. Consider a nose, for example. Or a wart. But if we’re talking diamonds, in my humble opinion, bigger is better. Or chocolate, for that matter. But that’s not the point. I think my love for all things diamond was acquired honestly. After all, it is my birthstone. In light of this fact, its no wonder that my eye was drawn to this fine piece of ge-u-ine, sparkly goodness.
I know, what is it, right? I had to zoom in to get a clear look at its authenticity.
But here it is from far away. That’s right, its Ross’s diamond studded collar. Chandler has one, too. And Rachel has a pink rhinestone necklace. These friends are just so cool.
Look, there’s the rest of the gang! Hi, gang. Phoebe, your earrings are to die for.
What a great photo. Look how happy they all are. Lucky for me that I can carry around the mid-90s wherever I want.Hello, Friends. Aren’t you glad that freaks like me can’t resist paying real money for paraphernalia with your photo on it no matter how unacceptable? You were in desperate need of rescuing. I just couldn’t pass you up, what with all those eyes watching me as I tried to pass you by. Not to mention the shiny, blinding bling.

Warning to all you people I know in real life: you may be seeing this again. In a gift bag. Addressed to you. On your birthday. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

And for what it’s worth, turns out Ross and I have more in common than a love for diamonds, as my 71% celebrity look-alike match is David Schwimmer. Not kidding. Wish I were.