emily p. freeman

Creating space for your soul to breathe so you can discern your next right thing.

In Which I Dare Not Tell You How to Feel This Morning

“The question is not Can we heal? The question, the only question, is Will we let the healing power of the risen Jesus flow through us to reach and touch others, so that they may dream and fight and bear and run where the brave dare not go?” 

– Brennan Manning, The Furious Longing of God

Yesterday, on the morning of Tuesday November 8, I sat on my mat in a studio full of other women, ready to do some deep stretching and thoughtful breathing. Our teacher asked us to rate our anxiety on a scale from 1-10 and I privately chose the number 7.

election 2016

During the course of the class, the silence was continually interrupted by the sound of sirens outside. One after the other after the other.

Half-way through class I began to count and, by the time class was over, I was up to five. But that was only after I heard so many I started counting.

Waking up this morning just hours after the election results came in feels a bit like hearing the sirens in the silence. Because no matter how you voted or how you feel about the results, the fact remains that we, the People, are deeply divided.

As a woman who thrives on connection, this division breaks my heart.

I’m careful not to make a list of things anyone else ought to do, think, or feel this morning. I believe in the goodness of God, I do. But I also recognize the deep disappointment many of us have with God’s people.

Instead, I’ll simply offer up how I’m moving forward and encourage you to perhaps make your own list in time.

Allow myself to feel the way I feel.

Grief is a relentless companion. It will not tolerate being ignored. If we refuse to acknowledge the feelings of grief and sadness that may be present in us today, that grief will come out one way or another. I choose to bear witness to the grief rather than allow it to surface later in ways I have less control over.

Respect the right of other people to feel the way they feel.

Whether you are angry, relieved, sad, fearful, or a mix of all of these, I will respect your right to feel as you feel. We can’t argue someone into feeling the way we feel about things. No matter how we feel this morning may our emotions lead us to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly in the days to come.

Refuse to name-call. 

For me to vilify is unproductive. It doesn’t sit well in my soul and is a burden too heavy to carry. For me, this is non-negotiable. Instead, let’s hold accountable.

Look for the helpers.

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’” – Fred Rogers

Just like Mister Rogers said, in times of uncertainty it’s important to look for the helpers. Deidra Riggs comes to mind as someone who is fostering important conversations with the upcoming  One Conference in Nebraska. This is just one example of many.

Be a helper.

We have good work to do. We have named leaders to pray for. We have minority groups to stand beside and listen to and learn from. We have a responsibility to do the next right thing in love.

If you need help to catch your breath, I wrote a prayer earlier this week to Unite the States of America that still feels relevant today.

You can also sign up here for Still Moments, a week-long audio devotional I designed to help you create space for your soul to breathe in less than five minutes a day.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  2. Emily,
    This is beautifully written and speaks so clearly to the fact that we all should be concerned about the division in our country. And I loved your words “I’m careful not to make a list of things anyone else ought to do, think, or feel this morning.” If all the people (on both political sides) who are ‘ranting’ on Social Media this morning would only pause and ‘be careful’ with their words, we would be one step closer to healing.

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    • From a Canadian’s perspective? I’m heartsick, for the American people and the world, over the results. The fallout from this election,unfortunately, will not be confined to the borders of Mexico and Canada. I will pray for you, as a nation, and for Mr. Trump. God is our only source for wisdom and strength. We must rely totally on His leading and guiding. Thank you Emily for your thoughts. They helped me see it from a different angle – I needed that awakening. Bless you!

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  4. Emily, I too choose to move forward. The things you listed as ways to help yourself are on my list too. Thank you for the Prayer to Unite the States of America. I shared that prayer yesterday my United Methodist Women’s group.

    Grace and Peace,
    Ruth Bowen

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  7. My thoughts this morning echo yours (below) It’s always a gift-this thoughtful community you have created here.

    ….
    Never ones to be early, we filled our ballets out with time to still walk the two blocks to the courthouse. there was a loud noise….gun shot? fireworks? Smoke billowing out of the neighbor’s attic tell us. As neighbors bring cold water to shocked and hurting neighbors and fire trucks pile in, filing our street with lights and hard working men, we are all standing together watching. .. it’s a sight to behold. The horror of fire, the beauty of water. This morning the street is erily quiet. The house still stands, smoke stained attic vents the only indication that anything happened. my “I voted” sticker lies stuck to the pavement. Both sights bring a weight of sadness. But I remember the water from the fire hose and the water in a neighbor’s glass. .
    .
    .
    “As we pull forward on the rails to home, I think about the nature of this world. For all the evil, there is an awful lot of good. I’m thankful for the sweetness of the good. ” -Kelli Stuart, Like a River From its Course

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  8. Thank you so much, Emily. This is perfect! Although my choice was the guy who won, I feel no thrill or ‘winner’s high.’ We are a nation in pain, and I pray that our common suffering will move us to find a way forward with love and hope and mutual respect. It’s the most important thing we can do for America. And for God, from whom all blessings flow, and who continues to bless this land without ceasing. The rest of the world is in pain, too, and I believe that only God through Christ can help us move forward and heal together.

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  10. Thank you so much for this, Emily. I read it with tears in my eyes, but it’s exactly the reassurance that I needed this morning. Every reason is so important, but I’m going to especially remember to look for the helpers. You are truly one of the helpers, Emily. Thank you, again!

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  11. Good morning, I tried to stay up to get the news but fell asleep. This morning I got up in peace and kept my peace no matter who is our Mr. or Mrs. President. The story that came to my mind was from the bible, when the people asked for a King. Well, the way I see this decision, is, God is in control, and the out come of the next 4 years will be no surprise to God. He sometimes gives what we deserve.
    The only thing I found disturbing this morning on the news, was an anchor spreading vicious fear and fear threats about our issues abroad, to listeners in the country. The media seems to have lost integrity. God bless you for this opportunity to express my opinion in love. You called your self a name somewhere in the lessons or your letter regarding, I believe, the generation you were related to, well I do not know what I would be called as a 70 year old follower of Jesus, but I thank God for my peace of mind. I love The USA and if we need a wake up call from God , so be it. I love you all.❤️”Doing the next right thing in love” (from several authors)

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  12. Thank you for these words Emily, much needed grace and maturity.

    I saw the division manifested through the media and Facebook communities bringing people to extremes, as if moved by a need to sharply distinguish themselves from “the other.” The walls are high and resistant, because the listening and validating is so weak.

    Half the country has spoken, following all the protocols in place, and a new presidency will start in a few months. It is my hope that there will come a realization that what is needed more than anything is acceptance of a reality many tried to wish away, sometimes very forcefully, using shame and exclusion: “this too, is America.” A country that has so much treasure and promise in her people.

    In the greater scheme of things, most populations around the world today feel helpless before the challenges of this century, but they keep asking for a decent life, at least a decent quality of life.

    People have a need to feel at home, to belong, and given room to contribute and prosper. This is one way they chose to give the job of leading them to a different person. The speculations will continue to run wild, we know that, but I hope we will continue to aim for an all-encompassing vision of our respective countries.

    Grace and peace, blessings to you all,

    Andre Lefebvre
    Alberta, Canada

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  13. Yes. Space and healing. Refusal to accept that differences must divide. Kind words and a posture, palms up. I’m happy to see you here today.

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  14. I am confused and tearful. That’s my reaction, but it’s also my reaction to my reaction. This is an indication that our country wants change, but to elect this infantile jerk to represent this country is horrifying. I wouldn’t be happy with Clinton, either, but maybe I wouldn’t feel so confused, sad, and apprehensive about this country’s future.

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  16. Thank you emily. So nicely said and your choices for the way forward should speak to all of us no matter our ballot box preference. Thank You.

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  17. Thank for this friend. As always, I am better able to understand my emotions/thoughts after reading your words. You are a blessing:)

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  21. The next right thing…what a awesome opportunity we awakened to this morning to do good…the most obvious right thing I think…we can waste this day or can live hopeful, faithful, and open.. It is well with my soul…it is well

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  23. You will never know what might have happened, had the outcome been different;
    just as we in UK will never know what might have happened had we voted to stay part of the European Union.
    But we trust our Father, who continues to love us through it all
    and in Jesus, who reaches out to us to rescue us from our failings,
    and in the Holy Spirit’s power to renew us all.
    May we (I) become more able and willing to share Him with those who are struggling, and those who are rejoicing.

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  24. I also go back to how God used Roman rulers (even though they weren’t nice or liked by the Jews) to bring about His Greatest victory! God could use whoever had won! We Christians are still the winners because “God is for us!” Celebrating God still being the King of the World! I wanted God to win and He always wins, even if I don’t get my exact wish! (FIY: My wish dropped out and I had to go with plan…….. way down close to z) So I am spending my time celebrating “God has got this too, He never let’s me down!”

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  25. Friend. I dare not tell you how I feel either but you might be able to guess since share personality types. : ) I had to do some writing myself to figure out how I feel. It helped.

    Thank you for this. And for the prayer you shared Monday, which I also shared. You remind us to care for our souls and to honor the souls of others. There’s not anyone who doesn’t need this truth. Especially today. Much love to you!

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  26. So comforting, so hopeful. It is in the doing that we are. May we the people do the righteous act that heals no matter what side we stand on. And this will be the stitching that joins. Thank you for reminding that the polls may separate but our living out Love heals . We are deeply divided in ideology only. In our call to merciful acts we are united.

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  28. To my lovely American sisters in Christ. Please do not be fearful, for the Lord is Lord of all, even a USA under Trump.
    We in the UK have had our own recent ‘morning after’ with Brexit during which so many went into meltdown. No matter how we voted -to stay within the EU or to leave it – within our local church family, and the wider church in the UK we drew together to respect each other, and to show love, and to reflect the nature of Jesus to each other and the rest of the nation. As it was for us in the UK (and still is and will be), this is a chance for His church in the USA to shine His light on your nation, and to heal the hurt, irrespective of how you voted.
    I met with my home group this morning. Five very English ladies in a country cottage and even within our small group we clearly all had different opinions on how your election had gone, as we had about our own referendum. But what we did share was compassion for you all in the USA, because our own Brexit broke many hearts too.
    Now, several months later, the sun still rises and each day is still a day that the Lord has made. I promise you, the extreme emotion will settle, and the Lord will still have work for you to do in His name. You are all in our prayers.

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  30. Thank you for this, Emily. I find I don’t know how I feel, so I am doing what I have said to so many other people in the weeks leading up to the election: doing what I can to make my corner of the world a loving and kind place. I don’t live in Washington. I live in this place. And sewing, because creating something makes a difference, too. And praying for peace and unity.

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  31. Thank-you for your sensitive and graceful words. Rocked by Brexit, rocked again today … Thinking of you all, and glad to hold your message in my thoughts.

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  33. This can be a wonderful opportunity for the church to place all their trust and faith in the one and only King of Kings. Rather than misplaced hopes on “their” chosen leader. God loves each and every person in the USA, each and every politician and what a time for His people to show that love the world over.

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  34. I think what hurt the most during this election cycle was a different kind of division – between family members and friends that I have never experienced before, and all are Christians. We do need to pray for healing and to come together as the body of Christ.

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  35. I woke up with this morning with the similar thought of choosing MY next steps and MY prayer going into today… even before getting on social media. It was a game-changer in how I felt even after reading other people’s posts. Appreciate your list. <3

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  36. I am thankful and hopeful. The messenger may be flawed, as we all are, but the message is true. God bless America, land that I love!

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  37. Emily,

    I was one who early voted. My candidate did not win, but that is ok. I am proud to be an American and take pride in my right to vote. I do not believe in posting nasty, hurtful comments. I believe each person should grieve or “deal” with this in their own way. I personally have told many to just pray about this election and our country.

    Sad to see our beautiful country so divided. May God help us and give us a peace that surpasses all understanding. We should be loving and kind to each other-not name calling as was done in the election!

    Blessings 🙂

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  38. I stayed away from social networks and television for most of this year because even without an election things can be so draining and negative…and when I woke up this morning and googled who has won the election, my heart sank at first…but then I remembered “Now he is far above any ruler or authority or power or leader or anything else—not only in this world but also in the world to come.”
    ‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭1:21‬ ‭NLT‬‬…I prayed that His will be done in the earth as it is in heaven and I prayed for more of His Wisdom, His Faith, and His Discernment in every situation I face…and I remembered that ALL people are Gods (the good, the bad, etc) and I work hard to treat people accordingly and to think good things about people…and I still stay away from anything that will feed negativity into my spirit…so by the time I had made it to work, I was in good spirits so much so that a coworker asked me why I was so happy…and I didn’t and will continue not to discuss it or feed into any negativity in this situation…I love The Body of Christ and I can’t wait to see the manifestation of the “sons of God” in action…Today is a good day…God bless everyone

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  40. Thank you, Emily. There is much in my heart over what transpired yesterday, mostly to do with the reactions of people more than the outcome of the election. I needed your words, and I needed them this morning. Thank you for always caring so well for us, your readers, and giving us the space we need to feel refreshed, comforted, and pointed in the right direction. You are a gift.

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  41. Thank you for this. For giving space to all voices. For not judging. Now is really the time to pray “God bless America.”

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  44. I also have been grieved by not only the unrest and discord in our nation over the election issues, but even more by the nastiness, distrust, lack of hope, and sometimes even outright hatred that has been spreading between friends, family and sadly, many Christians. I believe that God is still in control and our trust and hope must always and only be found in him…..where it should have been all along.

    Thanks for your words of peaceful hope, wisdom and truth.

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  45. all i can say is the lover of abortion did not get in to do more harm to our babies….we will not have peace as long as the culture of death remains in our nation…..so an end to abortion is a great start and bringing God back instead of taking Him out of everything would be the healing balm of unrest

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