Emily has been abducted by Monster Mommy. I repeat: Monster Mommy is on the loose.

She is not playing with her children, not unpacking her messy house, smelling like a hairy factory worker and being generally mean to any person under three feet tall. She cannot be bothered with things like tying shoes or showing compassion. If anyone wants to ride their bike or have a popsicle, it is just too bad. There will be no fun allowed. She is too busy being a monster.

Pray for her swift and safe return.

It’s not looking good.