emily p. freeman

Creating space for your soul to breathe so you can discern your next right thing.

I Finally Figured Out How to Have A Book Launch Party

If you’re curious about what went on during the book launch party, you can listen in right here! Learn more about The Next Right Thing right here.

Okay so it may not be a comprehensive list that everyone can follow.

But after 5 published books I finally figured out to have a launch party that works for me. In some ways this list is applicable to every book but for the most part, it’s super specific to this book. And me. And my friends. I’m sorry! But also you’re welcome because some of these ideas are definitely replicable!

1. Have the party the night before the book releases.

I’ve done this all kind of ways and so far this was my favorite way. We had a party to celebrate and then we still had the next day (launch day) to look forward to! Plus it gave the book a lot of momentum going into release week.

2. Stay in your lane.

My lane, as the author, is the message of the book, setting the tone for the evening, creating the content, and hosting the night. My lane was to drive the ship. But that doesn’t mean I had to build the ship.

My assistant Traci organized all of the details, including finding artists and a support team who could make everything happen.

3. Hire people to help you and say yes when people volunteer.

These photographs are (almost) all courtesy of Barrie Johnson of Barrier Photography who sent me a message a few weeks before the party and offered to take photos for free. My friend Jason Winsdor did the same thing, offering to bring a little camera and take some footage.

Megan Mazzucco did the balloon arch. My sister was all-around consultant and flower provider. Cookies of the night were from Sweet Stuff by Meredith and Morenike Fox.

4. Make the gathering shareable beyond the guests who can come in person.

As I mentioned before, this is my 5th book. Here’s how we celebrated the first 4 books:

  • Grace for the Good Girl: We hosted a private dinner at a restaurant for close friends and family (no public photos of this one) but my sister and mom also hosted a beautiful book signing event at my sister’s house (this was back in 2011!)
  • Graceful: I brought in two musicians to our church and we hosted a night for the high school girls and their moms a few weeks after the book came out (it was a book for teen girls)
  • A Million Little Ways: We planned a half-day workshop type event a few months after the book released
  • Simply Tuesday: We had a fun event at my sister’s barn in Charlotte (I loved this party)

These were all absolutely lovely ways to celebrate the releases of my previous four books. And having a private party is wonderful.

But for a book launch party, it was important for me this time for it to serve two purposes: celebrate and sell. Sell-abrate? No that’s too much. Too much!

The way we shared it with readers and listeners of the podcast was two-fold: we live streamed it through Instagram and we recorded the whole thing and made it available as a bonus episode of the podcast (that you can listen to at the top of this post.)

That’s my friend Alisa on the front row. She held my phone for the Instagram Live for the whole hour! She’s a rock star with a forearm of steel.

Caleb Peavey of Unmutable drove to and from Atalanta in one day just to record the night for the podcast for us. He’s  not only my marketing partner in crime, he’s become a dear friend and I’m grateful.

5. Celebrate people as much as you can.

It’s a book launch, but it’s also a way to thank everyone who has helped shepherd the book up to this point. If you listen to the live show, you won’t hear all the thank you’s as we cut those out of the recording, but rest assured there were thank you’s at the actual event.

The above photo is a small group of our hope*writer members who joined us to celebrate and below is a group of The Next Right Thing launch team members. What a lovely crew!

6. Sell books at your launch party.

Over the years I’ve done many books signings at our local Barnes & Noble so we’ve made connections with some of the staff there. For this party, we weren’t sure if they would, but we asked if Barnes & Noble would be willing to come to the party and sell books for us.

In the past I’ve always sold them myself but it was one less thing to fiddle with. And lucky for us, Barnes & Noble said yes! They brought a giant cash register and sold books all night.

7. Read a portion of your book.

Leave a little time to read a short chapter or a few pages of your book at your launch party. For me, this was a sweet time to settle in and enjoy the room but not have to think about what I was going to say next because all I had to do was read.

8. Get a photo with your family.

With events like this, often the people you love the most stay on the sidelines and you forget to capture their presence. Put it on the schedule and make sure to get a picture of you with your closest people before the night is over.

9. When it comes to the decor, a few bigs are better than lots of smalls.

My sister can speak to this way better than I can, but basically she always says if you have a few statement or large pieces, then you can get away with less stuff. We were able to host this event at the Cadillac Service Garage which, as you can see, makes a statement all by itself. Plus the floors matched the book so . . .

The giant windows, tall ceiling, exposed brick and stellar floors did a lot of the talking. We just brought in a giant green balloon arch and some lovely flowers and that’s about all it took.

10. Don’t expect a party to do everything.

Know the reason why you want to have a book launch party and then stick to it. The publisher doesn’t require you to have a party. (And also they don’t pay for it). You can do it on actual launch day or two months later (or not at all). It can be private or public. You can sell tickets or make it free.

There’s no wrong, but just know why you want to do it and then let that be what it is.

What a fun night!

I’m grateful to everyone who helped make this night happen as well as all of the guests who showed up.

After the hard work of writing and preparing to launch a book, a book launch/live show felt just right.

The Next Right Thing is available now! Grab a copy on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or wherever you like to buy books.

Just Do The Next Right Thing

My new book, The Next Right Thing, is available at bookstores nationwide today! We’re extending the offer for the free bonuses through Friday, April 5th — so if you order online or purchase in a bookstore, you can receive my online class and the audiobook for free! Head on over to NextRightThingBook.com to redeem your free gifts by this Friday night. Once you claim them, you’ll have access forever. Get your book, then claim your bonuses here!

My last two years of college I was a commuter student and every day I dreaded the task of finding a decent parking space. I tried to arrive on campus almost a full hour before my classes started so I could ease the frustration of frantically circling campus for a space.

To my great delight, I discovered a radio program hosted by author Elisabeth Elliot that helped me pass the time. The program was called Gateway to Joy, and it was broadcast daily from 11:15 to 11:30 a.m. Countless mornings, I sat in my car before class and I listened to her open her show with these words:

“You are loved with an everlasting love and underneath are the everlasting arms.”

At that time in my life in college, her daily assurance of God’s everlasting love was a welcome mantra, one I embraced and repeated often. Something else she quoted, both on her show and in some of her books, was a poem called “Do the Next Thing.” She never offered the author of that poem, only ever citing it as an anonymous writer.

Years later, when I started work on a podcast all about doing the next right thing, I became curious about where that poem came from, the one I heard her repeat so often.

One afternoon, I was determined to use the powers of the world wide web and do a little digging until I finally found it. The poem was, as far as I could tell, originally printed in a little book called Ye Nexte Thynge by Eleanor Amerman Sutphen, published in 1897.

Now the book itself is a bit odd but also sort of charming, about a group of young people who wanted to see other young people active and involved in their church and committed to God. They were led by a minister named Rev. Mr. Bacon. Here’s a few lines from the book about him:

“His desire was to get his people out of the old ruts, and to start them forward along new lines. But the spirit of self-satisfaction is a hard ghost to lay; and the young minister realized, therefore, that his task was not an easy one.”

The story goes on and it’s not exactly a riveting page-turner, but a close read shows a depth of spirit and truth that a casual glance doesn’t at first reveal. But I was most interested in what comes before chapter one. Because there, in the first pages of the Sutphen book, is the poem that Elisabeth Elliot quoted so often on her broadcast.

It’s printed in its entirety and at the end credit is given to its author, Mrs. George A. Paull. A little more research showed her name is actually Minnie and she was a musician, a minister’s wife, and a writer.

I tell some of this story in chapter four of my book, but what I don’t include in the book is this next part.

The day I found this quote on the Internet, I clicked to the front pages of the Google book to find out who the publisher was. And when I saw it printed there I could hardly believe it.

That little book called Ye Next Thing by Eleanor Amerman Sutphen, the one with this poem by the writer Minnie Paull printed inside, was published in 1897 by Fleming H. Revell company, the very same publishing company who published my book, The Next Right Thing, releasing this very week.

Here we are, 122 years later, still hanging on to this wise advice, still paying attention to what is right before us, still trusting God to tell us what we need to know when we need to know it.

When we do our work, offer a prayer, lend a hand, or continue to move through the ordinary tasks of our regular days, we never know how people years from now may be impacted because of our faithfulness. That’s not to say we have to get it all right. In fact, Minnie, the woman who wrote that poem, struggled deeply with doubt.

Part of her own journal reveals that. She was writer so she wrote down a lot of her experience. Here is part of what she says:

“There is just one thing to keep me from being blissfully happy, and strangely enough it is the last thing that I ever imagined would trouble me. I wish I could make up my mind about the reality of God. Though I believe in a vague sort of way, I have hours of anxious self-questionings, and cannot bring myself to the intense realization of the truth which I feel to be necessary.

I am groping blindly, and though I am trying to see God, yet a cloud is before my eyes, and I cannot even believe that he is behind it.”

Isn’t that how it goes?

This woman who wrote a poem so thoughtful, so faith-filled, she herself recorded her own struggle with doubt and with questions. But she continued forward through mixed motives, through the shadows and the sun, through her own next things even in the midst of her struggles.

And now her words continue to encourage us today, all these many years later.She could never have known the impact.

As you continue to carry your decisions with you, we’ll use a portion of Mrs. Paull’s poem as our prayer. Imagine God walking with you, issuing a kind invitation to release the burden of both heavy and daily decisions into his care.

From an old English parsonage down by the sea

There came in the twilight a message to me;

Its quaint Saxon legend, deeply engraven,

Hath, it seems to me, teaching from heaven;

And through the hours the quiet words ring

Like a low inspiration: “Do the next thing.”

 

Many a questioning, many a fear,

Many a doubt, hath its quieting here.

Moment by moment, let down from heaven,

Time, opportunity, and guidance are given.

Fear not tomorrows, child of the King;

Trust them with Jesus: Do the next thing.

 

Do it immediately, do it with prayer;

Do it reliantly, casting all care;

Do it with reverence, tracing his hand

Who hath placed it before thee with earnest command.

Stayed on Omnipotence, safe ’neath His wing,

Leave all results, do the next thing.

***

I can’t thank you enough for your kind support and I’m grateful to be able to offer you a whole book that I hope will serve as a kind companion to both you and to people in your life in the midst of their own decision-making process. Get a copy of The Next Right Thing anywhere books are sold, including Barnes & Noble (in store or online) or Amazon. Then don’t forget to claim your free gifts by April 5 right here!

How to Create A Simple Morning Routine

In an effort so serve those who aren’t podcast listeners I’m sharing the majority of this week’s episode of The Next Right Thing Podcast here on the blog. If you’d prefer to listen, tune in to Episode 76: Create A Simple Morning Routine.

“The goal [of a morning routine] isn’t overnight transformation, but slow and steady progress toward life long habits that radically change the direction of our lives and allow us to thrive in whatever role God has given us.” – Kat Lee

What we value when we’re 15 is different when we’re 25 and different still when we’re 45. And all along the way we have decisions to make. Some of those decisions are big but most of them are tiny, daily, and rote.

Where is your fixed point in the midst of these major life transitions?

As we follow the arrows of God, as we listen to the heartbeat of our own life, we’re led through one life transition after another, one fog after another, always looking for the clearings, always watching for the hope, always listening for clues that we’re headed in the right direction.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from hosting a podcast called The Next Right Thing over the past 19 months it’s that most of us want to do the right thing but a lot of us don’t trust ourselves to always know what that is.

We worry we’ll miss the best for the good. We worry we are too late or too early. We’re suspicious of our own desire, fearing that maybe what we want may not be what God wants.

The beauty of doing the next right thing isn’t necessarily found in the word right but in the word next.

To do the right thing may sound easy in general, but in the midst of a foggy transition it can be hard to know what that is. But to do the next thing is more friendly, accessible, and hopefully possible.

I want to suggest a next thing for you today. It’s the simplest action step around but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. If you’re struggling through a transition, carrying a heavy bag filled with unmade decisions, or worried about choosing the right thing for your life, begin with creating a simple morning routine.

Because how you practice your life will change over time and it starts in the morning.

***

If you’re already worried I’m going to tell you to wake up at 5 am and do hard things before the sun comes up, take heart. That’s not what this is about. Instead, it’s about intention, energy, life, and joy.

At a time when I had a lot of decisions to make recently and my life was extremely busy I talked with a mentor of mine to ask for some advice. Her encouragement to me was simply this: Hang on to your morning routine.

At first it seemed like odd because my morning routine is not particularly productive. It doesn’t move the needle forward or offer much by way of checking things off my to do list. But what it does to for me is provide a fixed next right thing every single morning I wake up. In the midst of a busy season of life, I need all the pre-made choices I can get.

In the online class I created called Discern + Decide, I walk you through the importance of not only a morning routine, but an entire rhythm of life – from your day to your week, month and year.

We won’t do that here now, but just remember you can get access to the entire class for free when you pre-order The Next Right Thing book before April 2.

But generally speaking, here are three things to remember when creating your own morning routine (and then I’ll share my routine at the end if it’s helpful).

Before I jump into these I want to speak directly to you if you are already saying “Well this won’t work for me because . . . ”

I want to gently invite you to consider one simple way this could work. One tiny change you could make. One small next right thing you could do to show yourself some kindness at the start of your day. If nothing comes to mind, if a morning routine still feels impossible to you, ask your friend Jesus to give you ideas. Because he’s intimately interested in the details of your life.

It could be interesting to discover what he might have to say.

Why create a morning routine?

I mentioned this before, but the gift of practicing a morning routine is that everyday I have one thing I can count on. Though the day may be unpredictable, there are a few minutes I can look forward to that are fixed. It may not be long and it may not be fancy, but it’s mine.

I saw this on twitter recently:

It’s funny, but that’s the power of a morning routine (and also caffeine) but still.

A morning routine offers us a fixed point to count on in the midst of our fast-moving worlds.

My friend Kendra who you may know as The Lazy Genius says a morning routine is “Kindly opening the day with the purpose of gradually increasing my productive energy.” She talks about finding things to do at the beginning of the day that help you feel like yourself so that you aren’t looking for yourself for the rest of the day.

If you want even more advice from her on this, you can listen to her episode on The Lazy Genius Podcast all about morning routines. So, that’s the first thing.

 

What to do in a morning routine

If you’ve grown up going to church, particularly in the evangelical tradition, you may have had the concept of a quiet time taught to you since an early age. For those of you who don’t know what that is it’s what church people call spending time with God, typically described as reading your Bible and praying.

And while the intention is good, and while both of those things are things I do I think the execution at least in some church circles has missed the mark.

First the phrase “quiet time” sounds like something for kindergarteners so that’s lame. Second, we tend to imagine this time has to look the same way for all of us instead of asking ourselves the deeper questions. I’ll give you two for now.

When it comes to creating a morning routine, rather than just assume I mean “have a quiet time” (which I do not mean that, by the way), the first question comes from Kendra: What makes you feel like a person?

The second question comes from me: What draws you close to God?

Sometimes the answer to those two questions could be the same thing but my guess is they will not look the same way for every person. And they may not look the same way for you depending on your own current season of life.

A third bonus question for you could be what pushes you away from God? Don’t do that thing in the morning.

Some things you may include in your morning routine: take a shower, sit on your porch, read a poem, listen to music, light a candle, drink your coffee, write in your journal, read scripture, pray the Lord’s Prayer, sit in silence, make a list of 5 things you love.

The options are endless so my advice is this: start small. Choose 3 or less. And don’t give up too soon.

A morning routine is a rhythm, not a schedule

Don’t get caught up with at 7 am I take a shower. This, I promise you is going to lead to frustration for you especially if you live with other people and even more especially if those people are tiny. Instead of thinking in time slots, think in trade offs.

For example, if part of your morning routine that you value is to read for 10 minutes but you get sidetracked during your normal morning routine time, no worries. Instead, just decide not to do something else until you read for 10 minutes. For me, often that’s something like checking instagram. I may not be able to read for 10 minutes right now, but I won’t check instagram until I read for 10 minutes.

It’s not a legalistic rule, instead it’s a life giving rhythm. It’s reminding me of something that I’ve already decided is valuable to me. Something I’ve already decided is important for my rhythm of life. It’s not a schedule it is a rhythm. Think in trade offs not time slots.

And if the kids wake up weirdly early on a Tuesday and you just aren’t able to get to your morning routine because you have to make breakfast and keep humans alive, it doesn’t mean your morning routine is shot for the day.

Instead, tell your friend Jesus as you flip the bacon. Ask him to find 10 minutes for you to read.And if it doesn’t come, if the day moves too quickly on, take heart. Remember the time at the stove with the bacon counts too.

This is your own tiny monastery. Your own Brother Lawrence moment of practicing the presence of God in the midst of your ordinary life. Some weeks you may practice your morning routine everyday at the same time because that’s what works best for you. Other weeks it might be completely different.

For me, these days, my morning routine usually includes three main things: reflection, reading, and prayer.

I reflect on the day before by writing in my One Line A Day journal. I’ll record the stuff of life, like what the kids are up to or what show we watched on TV the night before. Again, not fancy, not even particularly deep. Just my life right now.

I’ll read for 15 minutes because I set a timer. The reason I do that, I have a hard time focusing lately. As long as the timer is running, I just tell myself I can’t do anything else until the timer goes off.

And sometimes I’ll set the timer for my prayer time as well – 2 minutes, 5 minutes. It just depends.

Overall my morning routine right now may take up to 30 minutes some days. Other days I only get 10 minutes. When my kids were small my morning routine was half a cup of coffee and a prayer on the go.

It all counts. It’s all life. And God is with you in every bit of it.

You might be thinking, well that is just stuff I do in the morning. That’s not a routine. It is a routine! It’s stuff you do in the morning. And sometimes just the simple practice of giving it a name can help you feel a little more grounded especially if you are in the midst of a lot of transition and there are things going on in your day that you just can’t control.

How you practice your life will change over time. So will your morning routine.

Let that morning time be like a tiny gift you give yourself every single day – a nod to joy, a celebration of life, a fixed point in the midst of this crazy world.

Trust yourself to choose well, then give it time to work.

Change your mind if you need to. There’s no wrong here.

Trust God to give you what you need when you need it.

Believe he’s truly on your side.

Let the morning bring you word of his unfailing love.

Put yourself in a position to receive it.

No matter what transition you may be in the middle of, know this one thing for sure:

God will not let you miss your own future.

He’s with you each step as you simply do your next right thing in love.

If you want more detailed help to create not only a morning routine but also an evening routine as well as a plan for having an entire rhythm of life that supports soulful decision making, that’s what my online class Discern and Decide is all about.

This is one of my favorite resources I’ve ever created and I’m super excited to be able to offer it to you for free but you only have a week to claim it so now is the time!

Order a copy of The Next Right Thing (wherever books are sold) then visit this page right here to enter your information and get Discern + Decide for free before April 2.

Why I Can’t Get that College Admissions Scandal Off My Mind

In an effort so serve those who aren’t podcast listeners (and satisfy my relentless need to experiment) I’m sharing a story from The Next Right Thing Podcast here on the blog. If you’d prefer to listen, tune in to Episode 75: Tell Yourself the Truth.

A group of children stand in our front yard, doling out roles for the next round of hide and seek.

“You be it,” they say to one of the older ones, “and we’ll hide.” The one who’s it shuts her eyes and begins to count out loud while the rest of the group scatters, looking for a place to hide where they won’t be seen or, at least won’t be seen first.

But the youngest among them stays right where she is, a clever smile on her smooth, round face. She makes only one move, the most important one in her mind. She blinks her eyes closed and puts her hands over her face, certain she’s found the secret to remaining undetected.

If I can’t see them, then they can’t see me.

She forgets or hasn’t learned yet a most basic tenet of reality: Just because she can’t see us doesn’t mean we aren’t there. And just because she closes her eyes doesn’t mean she’s invisible.

It’s only a matter of time before she realizes her mistake.

* * *

On Tuesday, March 12, 2019, fifty people in six different states – including Hollywood actresses, wealthy business leaders, elite college coaches and more – were accused by the Department of Justice of playing a part in a major college admission scandal.

People across the country are outraged but, in many cases, not surprised, to see this blatant display of power, privilege, and deception in an educational system that’s supposed to be the launching pad for the next generation.

Now I don’t claim to know much about college admissions in general and I certainly don’t know all of the details surrounding the stories of the people allegedly involved in this most current and still developing scandal.

I’ve seen the jokes, the teasing, the “they got what was coming to them” comments. All of that could be appropriate and even true, I’m not here to say, but one question that keeps being repeated is how could parents do this? Grown people with common sense. How could they lie and cheat to get their kids into college?

As I’ve paid casual attention to the news this week another question continues to rise to the surface for me and that question is this: What false narrative is at play here?

In his book, The Holy Longing, Ronald Rolheiser says, “We get into trouble whenever we don’t name things properly.” I’ve found this statement to be true over and over again in my own life.

When it comes to making decisions, we can’t discount the importance of naming the unnamed things and admitting what lies beneath. Our unwillingness (or inability) to face the stories our lives are telling us will not keep those stories from speaking. It will simply keep us from having a say in the way they play out.

Like the youngest one with her eyes closed in the middle of my front yard, what we believe about reality and our place within it will always determine what we do next.

Our belief cannot be divorced from our action.

* * *

Here’s something true about me: I have the endless capacity to see nearly every side of an issue. If I hear one perspective, I will generally receive it thoughtfully without much argument. Until someone with the opposing point of view explains their perspective, and I instantly see all the logic I was missing before.

The problem for me is I’m good at hearing all the sides, but I’m not so great at picking one. It’s why I hate voting a little bit. (Although I do it. Reluctantly.) It’s why I could never be an attorney. (The worst.) Or a judge. (Can you even imagine?)

I have thoughts and opinions, many of them strong. But they are slow to grow, which is why book writing suits me better than current-event-writing (though based on today’s topic you wouldn’t necessarily know that).

On the one hand, this openness is a gift. I am generally able to hold ideas with an open hand. I have practice in listening, considering, and waiting before I speak. But they say our giftedness can also be our burden and there are many ways that this is true for me. Unchecked, this openness can become indifference, indecisiveness, and even intellectual laziness.

I am a slow processor, but I can easily use that as an excuse for not having to make a choice. I know this shows up in my writing. I recognize my hesitancy to make strong statements because one of my recurring fears is that I will say something now that I will completely disagree with later. It’s happened before and I’m sure it will happen again.

Looking over some writing I did a few years ago, I read these words I wrote: “We are not called to action. We are called to belief.”

Not called to action?! What was I thinking?! I couldn’t disagree with myself more. Of course we’re called to action!

In the context of the piece I wrote, I get it. I am a woman who has spent a lot of life, especially in college and early marriage, finding my identity and acceptance in my ability to perform well.

So when it comes to acceptance before God, we are not called to the kind of action that performs for our own worthiness and love. We are invited to believe we have those gifts already.

But belief expresses itself through action, so for me now, that statement I made at first is misleading. It isn’t one or the other. It’s both.

The shape of our life is defined by the verbs.

Hope. Persevere. Feed. Help. Listen. Believe. Even this is a verb, a movement toward God even in the midst of confusion or frustration or fear.

The Lord told Moses to stretch out his hands over the sea and up came the walls of water. But Moses had to act on his belief and in doing so, the water became walls. The lame man had to pick up his mat and walk. The bleeding woman had to reach out her hand to touch.

Noah built. The disciples followed. Esther asked. Abraham went.

From Hebrews 11:32-34, we read:

“And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson, and Jephthah, about David and Samuel and the prophets, who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies.”

Reading this, none of these moved perfectly, but faith is fully expressed when we bring our imperfect work into the presence of God and move toward others in love.

We are not under pressure to act. We have been set free to act, to move, to make choices, to live out the true things we say we believe.

Learning how to listen and then move, how to consider and then choose is an important part of the journey I’m still walking. For me, it’s a key component of what it means to live life with God, to do our next right thing in love, to, as David Fitch so eloquently puts it in his book, Faithful Presence, “live together in Christ’s kingdom and bring the world along.”

Our belief informs our action. What we believe will always direct our next steps.

So what happens when we believe something that isn’t true?

That’s what’s been on my mind this week as this college admissions scandal continues to unfold.

I don’t think parents wake up out of the blue one morning and say, “You know I think I’m going to cheat the system and bribe some people so my kid can get into a good college.”

Doing the next right thing happens one step at a time. So does doing the next wrong thing.

It starts small. It grows slow. It may begin with a general belief that we deserve something we aren’t getting or we’re owed something that isn’t coming easy. We make a compromise here, a self-deception there, and eventually, the rationalizations start to feel justified.

What once felt like a forbidden whisper in a dark room now speaks with confidence in plain view and we don’t even try to hide it because now it’s based on something we’ve convinced ourselves is true even when it isn’t.

This is why the next right thing posture is so important. It can serve as a compass for us in the midst of a world tempting us to believe a false story about success, happiness, and about what the good life actually is. It can serve as an accessible fixed point in a culture that keeps moving the finish line.

Doing the next right thing is life-giving advice, sometimes even life-saving advice. Just ask the recovering alcoholics who’ve maintained their sobriety often by simply taking things one day at a time.

I don’t know, exactly, why the parents, coaches, and administrators made the choices they made. But I do wonder what story they were telling themselves in the midst of it all. “We get into trouble whenever we don’t name things properly.” (Rolheiser)

This reflection on the life and choices of other people is meaningless if I don’t let it inform my own life and my own choices.

In what ways am I standing in the front yard of my own life, eyes shut tight to the world?

Is there a reality I feel unwilling or unable to face?

What about you?

Are you caught up in a self-deception so elaborate, so painful, that you cannot even begin to imagine your way out of it, much less make a change for real?

If so, pause.

Take a deep breath.

Be relentlessly gentle with yourself.

And find one way today to tell the truth.

Whisper it to yourself in an empty room.

Bring it to God in whatever way you can.

Ask him to show you the next right thing to do and trust that he will.

Because this thing you’re carrying within you, this false story that has weaved its way around your life. It may not be illegal or immoral, but is it untrue?

Today, as you make decisions about your own life and on behalf of those you love, be willing to admit the false stories you’ve been telling yourself.

Receive the truth of God’s presence with you and within you. You don’t have to undo this all by yourself.

Listen for the heartbeat of your true self beneath the persona you’ve been carrying around for so long.

Take a breath.

Tell the truth.

And do your next right thing in love.

* * *

I wrote a whole book about this stuff, about making soulful decisions in the midst of the chaos of life. There’s still time to pre-order The Next Right Thing and get 129 dollars worth of bonuses for free.

Pre-order your copy of The Next Right Thing  before it releases on April 2 and visit NextRightThingBook.com to claim your free access to my online class, Discern + Decide: A Guide to Design Your Personal Rhythm of Life. You’ll also receive a free download of the audiobook of The Next Right Thing (read by me!) Just enter your order number here and you’re golden.

 

6 Things I Learned This Winter

We do this every quarter and will share our next list (What We Learned in Spring) on Friday, May 31. If you are drawn to reflection but aren’t sure where to start, pre-order a copy of The Next Right Thing book and you’ll get an entire class I created to help you reflect on your life (a $79 value) for completely free. Learn more right here!

Welcome to What We Learned, where we pause to reflect on the past season before we move ahead into the future.

At the end of this post, you’re invited to link up to your own list of what you learned this quarter – be it silly, serious, sacred, or just plain useful. I like to share a mix of all of those.

Here are 6 things I learned this winter in no particular order:

 

1. Benedict Cumberbatch is the voice of The Grinch. WHAT?!

I feel like this is information that everyone already knew, yes? Well I did not. And my mind is blown.

 

2. The Target logo has gone white.

I didn’t know this was in the works but I pulled into the Target across town, the one I rarely go to, and there was the white logo. Not only that, when we went inside: music. In Target. I couldn’t believe it! I mentioned on Instagram and everyone had so many feelings. Evidently for many of you the logo has been white for quite some time. If you want to know all the many opinions, check out this post.

 

3. Going back is inefficient for my schedule but good for my soul.

On the way home from lunch, we passed a field and I couldn’t stop staring. So thirty minutes later I went back to take a photo just before the rain began and washed the snow away. I haven’t once regretted it. Note to self: do that more often.

4. I’m slightly obsessed with the passing of time and the history of bells.

Just weeks after I returned from London this summer, I learned some things about Big Ben and the Westminster Chimes that fascinated me. I made a few notes for myself to dig into that later.

Seven months went by.

Finally, one day last week, I sat down with the intention of not getting up until I had connected the dots. In the end, it became last weeks podcast episode 71: Let Time Be Your Friend. Once it was finished, I’m embarrassed to admit how deeply satisfying it was for me to have finally found a way to express the thing that caught my eye that day last summer.

 

5. I’m still a believer in launch teams.

If you don’t know what a book launch team is, it’s basically a bunch of people who agree to help you spread the word about a new book before and after it comes out. The only time I’ve ever had a launch team was with Simply Tuesday and it was my favorite part of launching a book.

That was four years ago.

These days they say book launch teams are changing and don’t have the impact they did years ago.

To that? I say watch us prove them wrong.

Last week we opened up the doors to join the team and now that they are assembled, I have learned of the power of a group of people who are willing to link arms together to share something they believe in.

Can I tell you how humbling it is as an author? How I’ve teared up multiple times this week in gratitude that these people would volunteer their time and attention to help me spread the words about this book?

With the release of The Next Right Thing a little over a month away and being the INFJ Enneagram 4 who can get stuck in her head and convince herself that everyone else has what it takes and I, somehow, have missed the “here’s what it takes” puzzle piece (I’m fine, it’s fine, everything’s fine), well. Let’s just say having people in my corner means a whole lot is what I’m saying.

thank you for this image, Susie Davis!

6. Doing the next right thing is saving my life.

I was talking with Jess Connolly this morning and she told me this message is saving her life right now, doing the next right thing. And I know I’m the author, and I know I host the podcast, but I found myself nodding along with her, quietly whispering, It’s saving my life, too.

It’s keeping me present. It’s keeping me here. It’s reminding me of Jesus, his kingdom, and my small place in it. And I’m deeply grateful.

If you pre-order The Next Right Thing before April 2, you’ll get the audiobook for free! As well, I’ll send you instant access to a brand new course I designed called Discern+Decide, all about creating a personal and communal rhythm of life. Learn more right here and get your freebies today!


When Your Plan Wasn’t Part of Your Plan

January comes waltzing into rooms like a boss, hair all in place, glasses pushed up on the bridge of her nose, clipboard in hand, announcing her intentions: We’ll plan the year. We’ll do it right this time.

While I admire her gumption and the way she continues to show up at my doorstep year after blessed year, I also know the truth: while having a plan has helped me navigate a lot of decisions in my life, the actual results of my plan were rarely (if ever) part of the plan.

Five years ago if you would have told me I would be making a full time income online by going into business with my Dad and a guy named Brian I hadn’t met yet, I would have laughed at you and called you crazy.

That’s not a thing, I’d say. I don’t even know what a membership site is, I’d say.

Making a full time income by running a membership site for writers was not part of my plan.

In January of 2014 (that’s five years ago) here’s what was part of my plan:

  • Continue to share my just released book, A Million Little Ways, all about how to access your own version of creativity as a person made in the image of God
  • Connect with peers of mine, authors doing the same kind of work as I was (for support and encouragement)
  • Find an easier way to answer the question I got asked most often in my email inbox: How did you get your book published?
  • Figure out how to connect with readers without having to leave my house

I had plans to write, to connect, and to serve. But I didn’t know exactly what that would end up looking like.

Five years later, it looks like hope*writers, our online membership community for any writer who wants to share words with a reader.

We only open our doors for new members for a few days three times a year. We’re open now until Friday at midnight (1/25).

Here are 3 ways to know if hope*writers is for you:

Maybe writing is part of your 2019 plan but you aren’t sure what that means, what form it will take, how you’ll find the time, or if you’re any good.

Take heart. There’s a lot of us out here. At hope*writers we’ve done the work for you of gathering the people, the teachers, and the resources you need.

All you have to do is show up.

And if writing isn’t something you’re interested in, here’s this: maybe January has been bossing you a little too hard.

Tell her to calm down. Instead, start to pay attention to what makes you come alive, where the needs are that you think you can help to meet, and what questions you have that other people might have, too.

I hope you’ll pay attention to what bothers you. In my experience, what’s bothering me is the best kind of catalyst to move toward hopeful change.

Here’s to making plans and holding them loosely.

If you’re a writer and have been paying half-attention to what we’re doing at hope*writers over the last few years but you’re on the fence, watching from the sidelines, or any other metaphor that means you’ve been holding back, I hope you’ll take a step to learn more before the doors close on Friday January 25 at midnight PST.

If you want to . . .

  • know what it takes to move from writing in private to writing for a reader (no matter what genre)
  • learn how to shepherd a book from idea to published
  • grow your email list and serve your readers well
  • connect with other writers all over the world without having to leave your house

. . . then you might be a hope*writer. Learn more and join us!

A Blessing for the New Year

In an effort to continue to serve those who aren’t podcast listeners I’m sharing today’s episode of The Next Right Thing Podcast here on the blog. If you’d prefer to listen, tune in to this 3 minute episode, A Blessing for the New Year.

We have all quietly stepped over the invisible threshold, the old slipping away into last year and the new presenting herself before us, waiting.

In the turning of the year, no one is immune, no one is over-looked or left out. We are in this together.

And so we begin another year-long journey, bags packed whether we realize it or not. If we don’t pay attention, those self-packing bags tend to fill up heavy with burdens we don’t need.

Today, take a peek into your bag. What do you see on top?
Do you see shame tucked in on the side?
Is comparison hiding in the zipped up pouch?
Is fear rolled up tight and heavy on the bottom?

Recognize what is making your own pack feel heavy and consider replacing those items today. There are lighter bundles to bring along, like courage, laughter, creativity, and love.

And so as we slowly return to our work and to our routines we find things to be piled just as we left them.
Perhaps you are tentatively carrying a new energy as you face your tasks but you suspect it won’t last long.
Push away dark thoughts of defeat.
You don’t have to conquer a whole year at once.

Start small. Celebrate progress.
Turn down the future’s invitation trying to pull you into anxiety.
Say no to the past’s whispers dragging you into regret.
Refuse to rehearse your failures again. Remember you don’t need those anymore.
Accept the invitation of Jesus who lives with you in this moment, inviting you to be present, to be loved, and to be fully yourself.

O God, remind us that ultimately, You are the clarity we long for, the answer we need, and the confidence we seek.
No matter how things turn out, You are our surest resolution.

As we stand on tip-toe and allow our eyes to gaze into the future of what might be, give us the assurance that you are with us in what is right now.

You always stand between us and every possible future.

Dear new year, be gentle with us, we pray.

Download a copy of this blessing or I’d be happy to read it for you. If you want help to create space for your soul to breathe in the new year, I’ll send you a relentlessly short email each Saturday with one goal in mind: the health of your soul.

Top Ten Books of 2018

For the last several years, I’ve been writing down the titles of books I finish. Then, at the end of the year, I pick 10 favorites and make a list for you here. (I’ll include the last four years at the bottom of the post) This is one of my favorite posts to write all year!

I’ll list them here in no particular order.

Note: This year’s list has a disproportionate amount of books written either by people I know in real life or books I was required to read for school (and loved). It’s a season of life kind of thing, where I only have time to read books that are either assigned or written by those I’m thrilled to support. But rest assured they are only on this list if they are loved!

All of the “about the book” descriptions come directly from the Amazon book summaries where I am a grateful affiliate, followed by a short explanation of why I loved it. Let’s talk books!

Invitation to the Jesus Life by Jan Johnson

Genre: Spiritual Growth

About the book: “To encounter Jesus daily and have a relationship with Him changes everything; our focus becomes eternal. Experience Jesus in such a way that His love-drenched, others-focused nature shapes your character. The spiritual practices in each chapter will challenge you to go deeper with Him.”

Why I loved it: Before she was my teacher, Jan was already on the fast track to becoming one of my favorite contemporary voices in spiritual formation. But now that I’ve spent time with her and had the honor of being one of her students, I’m sold. Her writing is clear, practical, and always brings me closer to our friend Jesus.

 

I’d Rather Be Reading by Anne Bogel

Genre: Books and Literature

About the book: “For so many people, reading isn’t just a hobby or a way to pass the time–it’s a lifestyle. Our books shape us, define us, enchant us, and even sometimes infuriate us. Our books are a part of who we are as people, and we can’t imagine life without them. I’d Rather Be Reading is the perfect literary companion for everyone who feels that way.”

Why I loved it: I read this book as a reward to myself after meeting a huge deadline and it was the perfect companion. Reading each short essay felt like unwrapping a delightful gift of warm nostalgia – a book-lovers dream book.

 

Cozy Minimalist Home by Myquillyn Smith

Genre: Decorative Arts & Design

About the book: “Cozy Minimalism isn’t about going without or achieving a particular new, modern style. Nope. It’s simply a mindset that helps you get whatever style you love with the fewest possible items.”

Why I loved it: I loved this book because applying the decorating principles I learned from it actually changed the way I live in our house. My sunroom went from being my least favorite room in our house to my most favorite within days after learning the cozy minimalist way. I didn’t have to take out a loan, sell my birthright, or win the lottery to make the changes. We have enough to fight against in this world. Our homes should be the last place on earth where we feel shame. I’m so grateful for this beautiful, life-giving book.

 

Streams of Living Water by Richard J. Foster

Genre: Christian Living/Spiritual Growth

About the book: “Foster examines the streams of living water –– the six dimensions of faith and practice that define Christian tradition. He lifts up the enduring character of each tradition and shows how a variety of practices, from individual study and retreat to disciplines of service and community, are all essential elements of growth and maturity. Foster examines the unique contributions of each of these traditions and offers as examples the inspiring stories of faithful people whose lives defined each of these streams.”

Why I loved it: This was an assigned book for my course called History and Traditions of Christian Spiritual Formation and I loved every word of this thick book. The kind and compassionate way Foster approaches each of the six traditions is thorough, creative, and insightful. He handled the discussion of strengths and weaknesses of each stream with grace and respect.

 

The Wondering Years by Knox McCoy

Genre: Christian Living/Memoir

About the book: “Podcaster Knox McCoy, co-host of The Popcast with Knox and Jamie, tells hilarious stories about how pop culture helped him answer life’s biggest questions. Through books, television, music and movies, Knox found many of the answers he was searching for about God and why we’re all here.”

Why I loved it: Another book I saved as a reward for meeting a deadline was this one and it was well worth the wait. It’s hard to write funny, but Knox has this skill in spades and I am here for it. This debut book is the perfect blend of humor, thoughtful reflection, and Generation X/Millennial pop culture references. Fantastic read.

 

Indestructible by Allison Fallon

Genre: Memoir

About the book: “Indestructible tells the shocking story of a marriage that didn’t go as planned, the truth that shattered everything, and the beautiful unfolding of a woman who decided that saving her marriage wasn’t worth losing herself.”

Why I loved it: You know those books that you pick up and then you don’t put down until you’ve finished? That’s why I loved this book. Ally is a real life friend of mine and reading her story was an honor and a gift. If you’re looking for a well-written, heartfelt page turner, this is the book for you.

 

The Ministry of Ordinary Places by Shannan Martin

Genre: Christian Living/Social Issues

About the book: “For Christ-followers living in an increasingly complicated world, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed and unsure of how to live a life of intention and meaning. Where do we even begin? Shannan offers a surprisingly simple answer: uncover the hidden corners of our cities and neighborhoods and invest deeply in the lives of people around us.”

Why I loved it: In a world where hope seems dim and solutions feel complicated and partisan, Shannan offers us a starting point that is as radical as it is domestic: widen your circle, hush your mouth, and pay close attention. This book is the right book for this moment in time and I simply cannot get over it. I either laughed or cried on almost every page. We need these lyrical, prophetic words now more than ever before.

 

Still Life by Louise Penny

Genre: Fiction

About the book: “Chief Inspector Armand Gamache of the Surêté du Québec and his team of investigators are called in to the scene of a suspicious death in a rural village south of Montreal. Jane Neal, a local fixture in the tiny hamlet of Three Pines, just north of the U.S. border, has been found dead in the woods. The locals are certain it’s a tragic hunting accident and nothing more, but Gamache smells something foul in these remote woods, and is soon certain that Jane Neal died at the hands of someone much more sinister than a careless bowhunter.”

Why I loved it: One of the precious few fiction books I read this year, the Inspector Gamache series is one I’m so grateful to have found. It’s mystery! It’s small town! It’s cozy murder! (Is that a terrible phrase?) This is the first book of the series and I’ve only read this one and the next one. I have the whole series queued up for reading once I graduate.

 

Water to Wine by Brian Zahnd

Genre: Christian Living

About the book: “Why would the pastor of a large and successful church risk everything in a quest to find a richer, deeper, fuller Christianity? In Water To Wine Brian Zahnd tells his story of disenchantment with pop Christianity and his search for a more substantive faith.”

Why I loved it: Zahnd does exactly what the descriptions says – walks the reader through his quest to find a richer, deeper, fuller Christianity. Spoiler alert: he finds it. Ever since attending his Prayer School last spring, I’ve incorporated his morning prayer liturgy (included in this book) to my morning routine and it has been one of the most transformative parts of my year.

 

The Emotionally Healthy Church by Peter Scazzero

Genre: Christian Living

About the book: “New Life Fellowship in Queens, New York, had it all: powerful teaching, dynamic ministries, an impressive growth rate, and a vision to do great works for God.

Things looked good—but beneath the surface, circumstances were more than just brewing. They were about to boil over, forcing Peter Scazzero to confront needs in his church and himself that went deeper than he’d ever imagined. What he learned about the vital link between emotional health, relational depth, and spiritual maturity can shed new light on painful problems in your own church.”

Why I loved it: This was another required read for school, this time for a course I just finished called Formation Through Struggle. I loved this book first because Leighton Ford wrote the foreword and I adore everything Leighton Ford puts his name on.

Second, after reading this book I believe it should be required for every church leader there ever was or will be. In our North American church culture, we idolize success in the form of the glittering image at the expense emotional health. This book is the antidote for our success addiction.

Finally, a bonus book because it’s my website and I can share if I want to: here’s the reason why I wasn’t able to read more books this year:

It’s because I wrote one of my own!

I hope you’ll add The Next Right Thing to your wishlist for 2019 or, even better, give your future self a gift and pre-order a copy today.

If the price drops between now and release day on April 2, you’ll be charged the lowest price.

There you have it! My favorite books I read (and wrote) in 2018.

 

 

As you make your own lists of books to read in 2019, perhaps you’ll add a few of my favorites into the mix. To give you more to choose from, I’ll include my 10 favorite books from the past four years below.

If you would like to receive a monthly list of the books I’m reading, enter your name below and you’ll receive my most recent letter on the last day of every month. Happy reading!

 I send out a secret letter to my readers one time a month. Want to get it?

I’m all about helping you create space for your soul to breathe, starting with your inbox. Over 33,000 people trust me with their email address. I will never send spam or photos of bare feet. You have my word on this.

 

My Top 10 Favorite Books From Years Past:

 

Let Go to Make Room for Something New

In an effort so serve those who aren’t podcast listeners (and satisfy my relentless need to experiment) I’m sharing a story from The Next Right Thing Podcast here on the blog. If you’d prefer to listen, tune in to Episode 63: Make Room.

We woke up this morning to a cold, quiet house, fresh snow falling on top of yesterday’s impressive accumulation. The power went out sometime around midnight.

John carried in wood and boiled water for coffee. I emptied the fridge of perishables and packed them in ice. We read by the light of candles and our fireplace, with blankets on our laps, hands wrapped around mugs of hot instant coffee.

Then I outlined a podcast episode with a pen on actual paper so we’re basically homesteaders now.

On Sunday as the snow fell and more kids started to show up at our house, looking for a place to sit and hot chocolate to drink, John suggested we push the sofa back from the rug. It will make more room, he said. We can spread out, he said. And so we did. We pushed back the furniture to make more room.

Making room doesn’t just happen. We have to do it on purpose.

In the end we would get over a foot of snowfall in one day, the third largest recorded in one day in central North Carolina. This snow wouldn’t leave a clean white blanket on our front lawn. Instead the photos show a mostly white scene with rusty brown leaves dotting the ground because this is an early snow for us.

In December, the trees aren’t quite finished shedding their leaves yet. So when an early snowfall comes and the wind picks up, they make room to hold the snow on branches by letting go their leaves.

Like Rahab, whose name means broad, large, a vast space of land; who betrayed her own people to assist the people of God, who made room for spies to find protection from capture, danger, and death, we, too, make room for righteousness and goodness to come take up residency within us.

Like Mary, the mother of God, who had never known a man, who had other plans for her life, who never asked for the choosing, we make room for the Holy interruption to come and weave life in unexpected ways at an unplanned time for the sake of an unknown people.

Like the trees in my front yard shedding brown leaves as snow comes too much too soon, we make room for something new even though it comes too fast, even though it might feel dangerous, even though we aren’t quite ready.

We make room.

This weekend we made room in the fridge for extra food, room in our schedule for kids to miss three days of school and for extra kids to come over and  sled. 

Today I make room for peace even though chaos ensues. I make room for hope even though my to do list is longer than my not-to-do list.

Maybe your next right thing for today is to consider where you might need to make some room.

Is there a room in your house you need to prepare — to take the boxes from the corner and cover the bed with fresh sheets to make space for a guest?

Is there good, important work hiding beneath the clutter on your desk, keeping you distracted from your calling?

Are there clothes in your closet that no longer fit your body or your life stage? 

Are you holding on to an old dream, a former relationship, a worn-out worry that’s taking up too much space and cluttering up your heart? 

Might you be willing to create space and make room for something new? 

Is it time? Are you ready?

During Advent, it’s true we wait expectantly. It’s also true we’re preparing for an arrival. 

What does preparation look like for you today? Might it include creating some space? Making some room? Clearing some clutter, not just the kind you can see?

O God give us eyes to see the extra things we no longer need, both the kind we can touch and the kind invisible.

Be our counselor as we discern our next right thing.

Be our priest as we confess the clutter we’ve allowed to crowd the way.

Be our midwife as we steward new birth.

Be our courage as we dare to be ruthlessly honest and relentlessly gentle with ourselves.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit: as it was in the beginning is now, and will be forever.

Amen. Hallelujah.

If you want some daily help to create space for your soul during December, The Quiet Collection for Christmas is available through Tuesday December 11. For less than a dollar a day, we’ll deliver an audio devotional to your email inbox everyday until Christmas. Learn more here.