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emily p. freeman

Creating space for your soul to breathe so you can discern your next right thing.

behind the quiet

I have a bad, risky habit of waiting until the orange light comes on in the car before stopping to get gas. I recently discovered that my car has one of those Distance Til Empty meter things in it, consequently stealing all my thrill.

Then there’s my laptop. The low-battery warning flashes and beeps a full ten minutes before the screen goes black. Do I get up and plug it in? No, I do not. Because I’m comfortable in my chair and the need is not urgent.

But when that screen goes black? I jump right up, find the plug and get back to business. I’ll do anything to restore life to that little whirring, writing machine. Only when the laptop is completely out of its own resources will I turn to the power source.

behind the quiet

Yesterday, I posted about my re-discovery of the morning time. It has been a sweet reunion with my warm cup, the wisdom of Proverbs, and the silence of the cul-de-sac. It’s like the deep, preparatory breath taken in before a day-long marathon.

But I didn’t start to get up before the sun because it was the rules or because I’m trying to check it off or because I’m supposed to have my ‘quiet time’. It’s because sometimes, at four in the afternoon, my screen goes dark. And I’ve had it. Or during lunch when they won’t get along, the orange gas light begins to shine in my head, a warning that Monster Mommy is about to show up. And my need for quiet perspective suddenly becomes urgent.

Everyday I come to the end of my own resources. There are days when I have a few shining moments as a patient mom or a thoughtful friend. But there are also days when I trip over my own life clutter and can’t quite stand up straight. I know it goes against all the words the world and Oprah says are admirable: self-reliance, capability, strength, resilience. But I am in desperate need of Jesus all the time.

Sometimes I have to come to the end of all my girl-made resources to realize that I need him all the time, not just when I run out of gas. Because He doesn’t give me quiet perspective; He IS my quiet perspective. He doesn’t hand out strength in doses equal to the amount of time I’ve spent with him that day; He IS my strength no matter if I know it or not. He makes beauty from my ashes and strong from my weak. And that is what gets me out of bed.

If you like what you see here, sign up for my free audio devotional called 7 Days of Still Moments. It will run all summer – the day you sign up is your Day 1. It’s free and each day is less than 5 minutes. To start Day 1 today, enter your email here and I’ll do the rest. Let’s continue gently into summer with a long, deep breath.

Filed Under: breathe Tagged With: rest

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Rebekah says

    July 15, 2009 at 9:56 AM

    I needed that word picture. It’s no wonder I’ve stalled out on the side of the road wondering where my motivation and joy have gone. I’m just glad I’ve finally realized that I can come back even when I’ve been gone so long and He doesn’t slap my hand or scold. He just welcomes me home.

    Reply
  2. ellen says

    July 15, 2009 at 10:31 AM

    I decided several years ago that morning was going to have to be my time with the Lord. If I don’t, then I’m just like you and the day pummels me and I forget about even making a moment for Him. Since then, I have come to love being with Him before the sun rises. The world is waking up and I know that He is doing it and it just feels sweet.

    Reply
  3. Angela says

    July 15, 2009 at 10:34 AM

    This is an area where I definitely struggle. It is very hard for me to go to bed at night (b/c my kids are asleep and it’s “my” time) and that makes it really hard to wake up in the morning and spend time with the Lord. And no matter how much I *think* I will get to it later, life’s busyness always gets in the way. Thanks for the encouragement. 🙂

    Reply
  4. Laryssa @ Heaven In The Home says

    July 15, 2009 at 10:36 AM

    Thank you for sharing this Emily. I needed this!

    Reply
  5. Roxanne says

    July 15, 2009 at 10:50 AM

    Perfect words this morning. May God fill you up today!

    Reply
  6. Jen@Balancing Beauty and Bedlam says

    July 15, 2009 at 10:51 AM

    WOW! Your imagery is perfect, and since we’re all ready this on a computer, we will hold that association close to our heart.:)

    Reply
  7. dawn says

    July 15, 2009 at 10:55 AM

    your words today are the unspoken ones in my heart.
    kind of what i wrote about today… but with way less words… conjuring up way less emotion.

    in the bottom of my morning cup there is a verse… and without Him telling me i can do ALL things through Him, i might just try to rely on just me…

    Reply
  8. Jennifer says

    July 15, 2009 at 11:01 AM

    This is beautiful – thanks!

    Reply
  9. Sissy says

    July 15, 2009 at 11:05 AM

    I can relate a little bit. Your life is very full, like mine during the school year. Summertime is generally very quiet for me, since Charlie is at work and I’m alone with myself all day long. It’s great for writing and getting projects done, but it also recharges me for the school year.

    Reply
  10. Bonita says

    July 15, 2009 at 11:21 AM

    Amen!

    Reply
  11. Meagan says

    July 15, 2009 at 11:25 AM

    Quiet mornings truly are the sweetest way to begin the day ~ before the throne of Jesus and basking in His goodness and grace. But it’s not always easy. Some mornings you just wish you could sleep all day! I remember Chip Ingram saying once that it’s “mind over mattress”. 🙂

    Just this morning I slept in a little too long, but in God’s goodness I was able to sneak away to a quiet place for a little bit while the kids watched a little TV. And only three verses into my reading was this: “You keep him {her} in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he {she} trusts in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock.” ~ Isaiah 26:3-4

    So thankful that I have a Rock to stand on throughtout the day.

    Reply
  12. Terri says

    July 15, 2009 at 11:36 AM

    “He doesn’t hand out strength in doses equal to the amount of time I’ve spent with him that day; He IS my strength no matter if I know it or not. He makes beauty from my ashes and strong from my weak. And that is what gets me out of bed.” LOVE THAT.

    It would be hard to pick a favorite from all of your posts, but this might just be my new one.

    Reply
  13. Megan says

    July 15, 2009 at 11:41 AM

    Amen, and amen.

    Reply
  14. Shilo says

    July 15, 2009 at 11:51 AM

    Emily, you said it all when you said “I need Jesus desperately all the time”. Amen. Thanks for being an encourager.
    Blessings,
    Shilo

    Reply
  15. dolly says

    July 15, 2009 at 12:21 PM

    Thank you so much for this post today. I’ve been running on empty and monster mommy has been been rearing her ugly head WAY too often around here. I need Him to re-fill me with His peace.

    Reply
  16. The Scooper says

    July 15, 2009 at 1:17 PM

    Funny how I suddenly felt prompted to check out chattingatthesky.com today…no more than 90 seconds after reaching the end of myself and yelling at all 3 of them. I am running on empty and it’s only 1:00. That’s what happens when you wake up and the baby’s diaper is overflowing with poo and he has managed to get it on carpet, bumper pads, and all the furniture within reach. What I would have given for some moments before the sun (and before the Son) to be more prepared. Instead, I have been edgy and angry.

    For a couple of months I’ve been getting up 3 mornings a week to run with a friend. When I return, the house is still quiet and I have time to reflect and receive. Like you mentioned, it has become the most cherished time of the day.

    I love this post, every single word of it. I needed this post today at this moment. I think it’s one of my very favorites of all your posts. Thank you.

    Oh, I also wait til the last minute to fill up and plug in.

    Reply
  17. Jo@Mylestones says

    July 15, 2009 at 2:07 PM

    Another “Amen!” added to the chorus!
    “Sometimes I have to come to the end of all my girl-made resources to realize that I need him all the time, not just when I run out of gas.” Yes!
    Thanks for this today.

    Reply
  18. Thea says

    July 15, 2009 at 2:26 PM

    “Oh, Lord my God when I in often wonder, consider all the world Thy hands hath made…” (One of my favorite hymns)

    Thank you God, for making Emily.
    Her REAL-ness and steadfastness through trials (and peace) are an example of Your faithfulness. Please shower her with abundant blessings.

    Amen.

    Reply
  19. Shannon says

    July 15, 2009 at 3:35 PM

    I am always slightly put out when someone else states where my heart is, and shows me the way I need to go to get better perspective or forgiveness or focus. And especially when they do it in such a beautiful and well-thought-out way.

    I am just like that. 😉

    I know I am not the only one that struggles with feeling overwhelmed, inadaquate and rundown, but it sure does take some of the weight off my shoulders to know that others have been there and are trying to light the path for those of us still floundering around.

    Thanks so much for another timely and beautiful post.

    Reply
  20. Kathy says

    July 15, 2009 at 4:38 PM

    Oh, so beautifully written and speaking right to my heart! Thank you for sharing!

    Reply
  21. Karin says

    July 15, 2009 at 5:38 PM

    beautiful, em.
    (i’ve still gotten the gas thingy down to 0 – while sitting at a stoplight a block from the station, pouring rain, four little kids. He answers even our smallest prayers sometimes … and in our dumbest most rebellious moments … )
    karin

    Reply
  22. Hayley says

    July 15, 2009 at 6:17 PM

    Your intimate heartfelt thoughts today was medicine to my soul. Thank you so much for sharing!

    Blessings,
    Hayley

    Reply
  23. Erin says

    July 15, 2009 at 6:29 PM

    Emily, this is beautiful. I think I’m driving on fumes way too much. Thank you for this reminder.

    Reply
  24. Hopefull says

    July 15, 2009 at 7:18 PM

    i need Jesus all the time

    Reply
  25. aubrey says

    July 15, 2009 at 9:11 PM

    That is all so true. We need lots of help outside ourselves. Ugh, me especially, the QUEEN of the monster mommies.

    Reply
  26. Phillips Phamily Mama says

    July 15, 2009 at 9:14 PM

    Well, that was beautifully written with a beautiful message. Thank you!

    Reply
  27. Mary says

    July 15, 2009 at 10:04 PM

    Thanks for the words of wisdom! I haven’t resumed my quiet time since the new baby (being honest!) and really struggle with keeping perspective/patience/love/joy for my children! Ha! I know it’s vital but end up being so tired in the morning since I’m still getting up during the night with her…why didn’t God give babies the ability to sleep 12 hours from birth? hmmmm gonna ask Him that one day.

    Reply
  28. Deborah says

    July 15, 2009 at 11:11 PM

    Well said.
    Could not agree more.
    Love your blog!

    Reply
  29. Amy says

    July 16, 2009 at 12:07 AM

    I am so glad that I got back to my computer and read this post. I have had a not so great mom day and now while everyone is sleeping I am thinking about how desperately I needed Jesus today. I even blogged about it, and just didn’t quite spend the time I needed with Him to get back on track. Thankfully, tomorrow is another day and I will start it with my Bible and my coffee. God is so good!

    Reply
  30. Kelly says

    July 16, 2009 at 8:20 AM

    I wish you could fave blog posts the way you can fave photos on Flickr… Thanks for your reflections today…

    Reply
  31. Kim @ whatsupbird says

    July 16, 2009 at 10:33 AM

    Thanks for sharing your lovely thoughts! It made me cry, but it a good way.

    Reply
  32. Bee says

    July 16, 2009 at 12:57 PM

    Oh, do I know what you mean! Lately, I’ve been painting a lot with a sprayer. Instead of just stopping a minute when I know the paint in the jar is getting low, I wait until it starts spittin’ and sputterin’ and makin’ ugly before I re-fill it. And I’m afraid I do that same thing way to much in my day-to-day life. I need re-filling constantly. It’s the only way I won’t spit and sputter and make ugly!

    Reply
  33. Sonya says

    July 16, 2009 at 4:22 PM

    Hi Emily,

    Your blog is a lift. You wrote Truth so lucidly!!!! Wow – I can relate to these reflections so well. Everything about our God is such a paradox – in complete dependence on Him, we can be free! Thanks, Lord Jesus.

    Sonya

    ps

    I have been regularly reading your blog and also your sister’s for a few months – I’m hooked!!

    Reply
  34. Sandy says

    July 16, 2009 at 4:59 PM

    When I read this I just burst into tears and said, “God, I can’t do this.” And you know what? I think that’s just what He wants to hear. When we finally realize we can’t do it, that’s when He gets started.

    Reply
  35. Holly says

    July 16, 2009 at 8:10 PM

    I blogged about this very same thing a few months ago! Every now and then I miss a morning and I can feel it be the end of the day! I totally agree with everything you’ve said! Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
  36. dawn says

    July 16, 2009 at 9:02 PM

    another awesome post on this topic! Great word picture–you are a beautiful writer. Thanks!

    Reply
  37. Dina says

    July 16, 2009 at 9:25 PM

    Love this in it’s simplicity and truth. What the world needs now is Jesus, sweet Jesus, one morning at a time. Beautiful!

    Reply
  38. Amber says

    July 16, 2009 at 11:16 PM

    A lovely and always needed reminder. We can never do it in our strength. I SO wish that I could be a morning quiet person, but I can’t. I just can’t. I wish that I could wish it so.

    Reply
  39. Tina says

    July 17, 2009 at 9:31 PM

    beautiful truth.

    Reply
  40. Tracey says

    July 17, 2009 at 10:36 PM

    I like the way you call it morning time. For some reason I always feel so “holier than thou” when I refer to my quiet time.

    I recently added the practice of kneeling in prayer to begin my time. One morning I realized I was kneeling in front of the sofa with my coffee in my hands and my head down, it must have looked like I was bowing to the java. Thankfully, my Jesus knows he is the only one for me, there are no other gods.

    Reply
  41. sandy says

    July 18, 2009 at 2:06 AM

    Amen, GF. Love everything about this post – and you!

    Reply
  42. Melanie says

    July 18, 2009 at 7:09 AM

    That was such a wonderful read and a great perspective.

    Reply
  43. Krista says

    July 18, 2009 at 10:09 AM

    Emily, I always love your thoughts and your photos. Thank you so much for this great reminder. You’re speaking my language, for sure!

    Reply
  44. Laura says

    July 18, 2009 at 8:32 PM

    Thank you! I needed this gentle encouragement to get back into my quiet time – immediately. I have been irritated with myself for a while now knowing I was going through my days in my own strength and not in His. Your post gave me the mental imagery I needed to see how foolish I have been. You painted an accurate picture of me and helped me remember that my Helper is patiently waiting for me.

    Reply
  45. denise jones says

    July 18, 2009 at 8:47 PM

    this is me too… running on empty, waiting till the last minuet to “fill er’ up,” and i miss jesus.

    btw- i have visited you before (by way of the nester), but you left a comment over at “imparting grace” that was so thoughtful… you quoted manning, and said “that there is more power in sharing our weakness than in sharing our strength,” it is so true! people become more beautiful when God’s strength is made sufficient in their weakness.
    i am learning to be comfortable in my weak skin, learning to let God have all the glory.

    Reply
  46. Janna says

    July 18, 2009 at 9:58 PM

    Thank you so much for sharing this. My Sunday School class has been slowly making our way through Proverbs, and I am absolutely LOVING it. And I couldn’t agree more about the “screen going dark at four” I’ve got four little ones and a hubby in school and working two jobs. I need to keep remembering to recharge throughout the day, not just a 10 minute fix in the morning. You’ve got me thinking.

    Reply
  47. Trinity Mommy says

    July 20, 2009 at 12:12 PM

    Simply Beautiful!!!

    Reply
  48. Jessic says

    July 30, 2009 at 10:00 PM

    This is beautiful.

    Absolutely beautiful.
    The metaphor I can relate to so perfectly, having literally rolled into TWO gas stations in the past three weeks. (*blush*)

    I have been finding myself drained and yearning for the quiet mornings of spending time and filling myself with His word.

    Reply
  49. Marcy says

    July 19, 2016 at 10:12 PM

    He Is.

    The End.

    Reply

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