I have a bad, risky habit of waiting until the orange light comes on in the car before stopping to get gas. I recently discovered that my car has one of those Distance Til Empty meter things in it, consequently stealing all my thrill.
Then there’s my laptop. The low-battery warning flashes and beeps a full ten minutes before the screen goes black. Do I get up and plug it in? No, I do not. Because I’m comfortable in my chair and the need is not urgent.
But when that screen goes black? I jump right up, find the plug and get back to business. I’ll do anything to restore life to that little whirring, writing machine. Only when the laptop is completely out of its own resources will I turn to the power source.
Yesterday, I posted about my re-discovery of the morning time. It has been a sweet reunion with my warm cup, the wisdom of Proverbs, and the silence of the cul-de-sac. It’s like the deep, preparatory breath taken in before a day-long marathon.
But I didn’t start to get up before the sun because it was the rules or because I’m trying to check it off or because I’m supposed to have my ‘quiet time’. It’s because sometimes, at four in the afternoon, my screen goes dark. And I’ve had it. Or during lunch when they won’t get along, the orange gas light begins to shine in my head, a warning that Monster Mommy is about to show up. And my need for quiet perspective suddenly becomes urgent.
Everyday I come to the end of my own resources. There are days when I have a few shining moments as a patient mom or a thoughtful friend. But there are also days when I trip over my own life clutter and can’t quite stand up straight. I know it goes against all the words the world and Oprah says are admirable: self-reliance, capability, strength, resilience. But I am in desperate need of Jesus all the time.
Sometimes I have to come to the end of all my girl-made resources to realize that I need him all the time, not just when I run out of gas. Because He doesn’t give me quiet perspective; He IS my quiet perspective. He doesn’t hand out strength in doses equal to the amount of time I’ve spent with him that day; He IS my strength no matter if I know it or not. He makes beauty from my ashes and strong from my weak. And that is what gets me out of bed.
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Rebekah says
July 15, 2009 at 9:56 AMI needed that word picture. It’s no wonder I’ve stalled out on the side of the road wondering where my motivation and joy have gone. I’m just glad I’ve finally realized that I can come back even when I’ve been gone so long and He doesn’t slap my hand or scold. He just welcomes me home.
ellen says
July 15, 2009 at 10:31 AMI decided several years ago that morning was going to have to be my time with the Lord. If I don’t, then I’m just like you and the day pummels me and I forget about even making a moment for Him. Since then, I have come to love being with Him before the sun rises. The world is waking up and I know that He is doing it and it just feels sweet.
Angela says
July 15, 2009 at 10:34 AMThis is an area where I definitely struggle. It is very hard for me to go to bed at night (b/c my kids are asleep and it’s “my” time) and that makes it really hard to wake up in the morning and spend time with the Lord. And no matter how much I *think* I will get to it later, life’s busyness always gets in the way. Thanks for the encouragement. 🙂
Laryssa @ Heaven In The Home says
July 15, 2009 at 10:36 AMThank you for sharing this Emily. I needed this!
Roxanne says
July 15, 2009 at 10:50 AMPerfect words this morning. May God fill you up today!
Jen@Balancing Beauty and Bedlam says
July 15, 2009 at 10:51 AMWOW! Your imagery is perfect, and since we’re all ready this on a computer, we will hold that association close to our heart.:)
dawn says
July 15, 2009 at 10:55 AMyour words today are the unspoken ones in my heart.
kind of what i wrote about today… but with way less words… conjuring up way less emotion.
in the bottom of my morning cup there is a verse… and without Him telling me i can do ALL things through Him, i might just try to rely on just me…
Jennifer says
July 15, 2009 at 11:01 AMThis is beautiful – thanks!
Sissy says
July 15, 2009 at 11:05 AMI can relate a little bit. Your life is very full, like mine during the school year. Summertime is generally very quiet for me, since Charlie is at work and I’m alone with myself all day long. It’s great for writing and getting projects done, but it also recharges me for the school year.
Bonita says
July 15, 2009 at 11:21 AMAmen!
Meagan says
July 15, 2009 at 11:25 AMQuiet mornings truly are the sweetest way to begin the day ~ before the throne of Jesus and basking in His goodness and grace. But it’s not always easy. Some mornings you just wish you could sleep all day! I remember Chip Ingram saying once that it’s “mind over mattress”. 🙂
Just this morning I slept in a little too long, but in God’s goodness I was able to sneak away to a quiet place for a little bit while the kids watched a little TV. And only three verses into my reading was this: “You keep him {her} in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he {she} trusts in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock.” ~ Isaiah 26:3-4
So thankful that I have a Rock to stand on throughtout the day.
Terri says
July 15, 2009 at 11:36 AM“He doesn’t hand out strength in doses equal to the amount of time I’ve spent with him that day; He IS my strength no matter if I know it or not. He makes beauty from my ashes and strong from my weak. And that is what gets me out of bed.” LOVE THAT.
It would be hard to pick a favorite from all of your posts, but this might just be my new one.
Megan says
July 15, 2009 at 11:41 AMAmen, and amen.
Shilo says
July 15, 2009 at 11:51 AMEmily, you said it all when you said “I need Jesus desperately all the time”. Amen. Thanks for being an encourager.
Blessings,
Shilo
dolly says
July 15, 2009 at 12:21 PMThank you so much for this post today. I’ve been running on empty and monster mommy has been been rearing her ugly head WAY too often around here. I need Him to re-fill me with His peace.
The Scooper says
July 15, 2009 at 1:17 PMFunny how I suddenly felt prompted to check out chattingatthesky.com today…no more than 90 seconds after reaching the end of myself and yelling at all 3 of them. I am running on empty and it’s only 1:00. That’s what happens when you wake up and the baby’s diaper is overflowing with poo and he has managed to get it on carpet, bumper pads, and all the furniture within reach. What I would have given for some moments before the sun (and before the Son) to be more prepared. Instead, I have been edgy and angry.
For a couple of months I’ve been getting up 3 mornings a week to run with a friend. When I return, the house is still quiet and I have time to reflect and receive. Like you mentioned, it has become the most cherished time of the day.
I love this post, every single word of it. I needed this post today at this moment. I think it’s one of my very favorites of all your posts. Thank you.
Oh, I also wait til the last minute to fill up and plug in.
Jo@Mylestones says
July 15, 2009 at 2:07 PMAnother “Amen!” added to the chorus!
“Sometimes I have to come to the end of all my girl-made resources to realize that I need him all the time, not just when I run out of gas.” Yes!
Thanks for this today.
Thea says
July 15, 2009 at 2:26 PM“Oh, Lord my God when I in often wonder, consider all the world Thy hands hath made…” (One of my favorite hymns)
Thank you God, for making Emily.
Her REAL-ness and steadfastness through trials (and peace) are an example of Your faithfulness. Please shower her with abundant blessings.
Amen.
Shannon says
July 15, 2009 at 3:35 PMI am always slightly put out when someone else states where my heart is, and shows me the way I need to go to get better perspective or forgiveness or focus. And especially when they do it in such a beautiful and well-thought-out way.
I am just like that. 😉
I know I am not the only one that struggles with feeling overwhelmed, inadaquate and rundown, but it sure does take some of the weight off my shoulders to know that others have been there and are trying to light the path for those of us still floundering around.
Thanks so much for another timely and beautiful post.
Kathy says
July 15, 2009 at 4:38 PMOh, so beautifully written and speaking right to my heart! Thank you for sharing!
Karin says
July 15, 2009 at 5:38 PMbeautiful, em.
(i’ve still gotten the gas thingy down to 0 – while sitting at a stoplight a block from the station, pouring rain, four little kids. He answers even our smallest prayers sometimes … and in our dumbest most rebellious moments … )
karin
Hayley says
July 15, 2009 at 6:17 PMYour intimate heartfelt thoughts today was medicine to my soul. Thank you so much for sharing!
Blessings,
Hayley
Erin says
July 15, 2009 at 6:29 PMEmily, this is beautiful. I think I’m driving on fumes way too much. Thank you for this reminder.
Hopefull says
July 15, 2009 at 7:18 PMi need Jesus all the time
aubrey says
July 15, 2009 at 9:11 PMThat is all so true. We need lots of help outside ourselves. Ugh, me especially, the QUEEN of the monster mommies.
Phillips Phamily Mama says
July 15, 2009 at 9:14 PMWell, that was beautifully written with a beautiful message. Thank you!
Mary says
July 15, 2009 at 10:04 PMThanks for the words of wisdom! I haven’t resumed my quiet time since the new baby (being honest!) and really struggle with keeping perspective/patience/love/joy for my children! Ha! I know it’s vital but end up being so tired in the morning since I’m still getting up during the night with her…why didn’t God give babies the ability to sleep 12 hours from birth? hmmmm gonna ask Him that one day.
Deborah says
July 15, 2009 at 11:11 PMWell said.
Could not agree more.
Love your blog!
Amy says
July 16, 2009 at 12:07 AMI am so glad that I got back to my computer and read this post. I have had a not so great mom day and now while everyone is sleeping I am thinking about how desperately I needed Jesus today. I even blogged about it, and just didn’t quite spend the time I needed with Him to get back on track. Thankfully, tomorrow is another day and I will start it with my Bible and my coffee. God is so good!
Kelly says
July 16, 2009 at 8:20 AMI wish you could fave blog posts the way you can fave photos on Flickr… Thanks for your reflections today…
Kim @ whatsupbird says
July 16, 2009 at 10:33 AMThanks for sharing your lovely thoughts! It made me cry, but it a good way.
Bee says
July 16, 2009 at 12:57 PMOh, do I know what you mean! Lately, I’ve been painting a lot with a sprayer. Instead of just stopping a minute when I know the paint in the jar is getting low, I wait until it starts spittin’ and sputterin’ and makin’ ugly before I re-fill it. And I’m afraid I do that same thing way to much in my day-to-day life. I need re-filling constantly. It’s the only way I won’t spit and sputter and make ugly!
Sonya says
July 16, 2009 at 4:22 PMHi Emily,
Your blog is a lift. You wrote Truth so lucidly!!!! Wow – I can relate to these reflections so well. Everything about our God is such a paradox – in complete dependence on Him, we can be free! Thanks, Lord Jesus.
Sonya
ps
I have been regularly reading your blog and also your sister’s for a few months – I’m hooked!!
Sandy says
July 16, 2009 at 4:59 PMWhen I read this I just burst into tears and said, “God, I can’t do this.” And you know what? I think that’s just what He wants to hear. When we finally realize we can’t do it, that’s when He gets started.
Holly says
July 16, 2009 at 8:10 PMI blogged about this very same thing a few months ago! Every now and then I miss a morning and I can feel it be the end of the day! I totally agree with everything you’ve said! Thanks for sharing!
dawn says
July 16, 2009 at 9:02 PManother awesome post on this topic! Great word picture–you are a beautiful writer. Thanks!
Dina says
July 16, 2009 at 9:25 PMLove this in it’s simplicity and truth. What the world needs now is Jesus, sweet Jesus, one morning at a time. Beautiful!
Amber says
July 16, 2009 at 11:16 PMA lovely and always needed reminder. We can never do it in our strength. I SO wish that I could be a morning quiet person, but I can’t. I just can’t. I wish that I could wish it so.
Tina says
July 17, 2009 at 9:31 PMbeautiful truth.
Tracey says
July 17, 2009 at 10:36 PMI like the way you call it morning time. For some reason I always feel so “holier than thou” when I refer to my quiet time.
I recently added the practice of kneeling in prayer to begin my time. One morning I realized I was kneeling in front of the sofa with my coffee in my hands and my head down, it must have looked like I was bowing to the java. Thankfully, my Jesus knows he is the only one for me, there are no other gods.
sandy says
July 18, 2009 at 2:06 AMAmen, GF. Love everything about this post – and you!
Melanie says
July 18, 2009 at 7:09 AMThat was such a wonderful read and a great perspective.
Krista says
July 18, 2009 at 10:09 AMEmily, I always love your thoughts and your photos. Thank you so much for this great reminder. You’re speaking my language, for sure!
Laura says
July 18, 2009 at 8:32 PMThank you! I needed this gentle encouragement to get back into my quiet time – immediately. I have been irritated with myself for a while now knowing I was going through my days in my own strength and not in His. Your post gave me the mental imagery I needed to see how foolish I have been. You painted an accurate picture of me and helped me remember that my Helper is patiently waiting for me.
denise jones says
July 18, 2009 at 8:47 PMthis is me too… running on empty, waiting till the last minuet to “fill er’ up,” and i miss jesus.
btw- i have visited you before (by way of the nester), but you left a comment over at “imparting grace” that was so thoughtful… you quoted manning, and said “that there is more power in sharing our weakness than in sharing our strength,” it is so true! people become more beautiful when God’s strength is made sufficient in their weakness.
i am learning to be comfortable in my weak skin, learning to let God have all the glory.
Janna says
July 18, 2009 at 9:58 PMThank you so much for sharing this. My Sunday School class has been slowly making our way through Proverbs, and I am absolutely LOVING it. And I couldn’t agree more about the “screen going dark at four” I’ve got four little ones and a hubby in school and working two jobs. I need to keep remembering to recharge throughout the day, not just a 10 minute fix in the morning. You’ve got me thinking.
Trinity Mommy says
July 20, 2009 at 12:12 PMSimply Beautiful!!!
Jessic says
July 30, 2009 at 10:00 PMThis is beautiful.
Absolutely beautiful.
The metaphor I can relate to so perfectly, having literally rolled into TWO gas stations in the past three weeks. (*blush*)
I have been finding myself drained and yearning for the quiet mornings of spending time and filling myself with His word.
Marcy says
July 19, 2016 at 10:12 PMHe Is.
The End.