emily p. freeman

Creating space for your soul to breathe so you can discern your next right thing.

8 ways to know it’s time to take a break

Sometimes we need to keep going no matter what, to sit and do the work no matter the distractions, the time constraints, the resistance standing strong  with his arms crossed in the corner of the kitchen. I’ve worked with him breathing hot down my neck, and I’ve met deadlines early and spit in his face. I’ve been doing that for some time now.

For nearly three years, I have been writing books in some form. I’ve only cranked out two in that time where many authors would have twice that many in the same amount of months. With all these hours of work, I’m learning the difference between procrastinating (avoiding the work because I’m afraid, lazy, or distracted) and rest (setting the work aside on purpose with the intent of re-focusing).

Back in January, I wrote a post on 5 Ways to Know if the Art has to Wait. Mostly, I encouraged you to move ahead, to make art anyway, to sort through the procrastinating excuses and create. But if you find yourself in a season where you feel pulled and directionless, here are 8 ways to know if it’s time to take a break:

1. More time is spent in reaction than intention. Do you feel like your days are filled mostly with moving from one fire to the next? That all you do is turn around and react to the people and circumstances around you? Surviving says just make it through. True living says let’s make this count.

2. Sitting still and doing nothing brings anxiety. When God said for us to be still and know that he is God, I think he meant it as a gift to us. When the voice of the shame of inactivity becomes louder than the voice of grace, let that be a red flag of warning. Allow yourself to sit long enough so the anxiety gives way to rest.

3. The idea of taking a break is terrifying. You have become very big and the world cannot rotate without you in charge. You wonder how to embrace rest without everything crumbling at your feet. Oh, to learn what it means to release the management of life out of our small hands and into the hands of God.

4. Your spouse asks you to. They see things we can’t see. When my husband goes too fast and I ask him to slow, I feel loved when he listens. Our family can be our most accurate mirror. Don’t be afraid to look into them and discover more of yourself.

5. It feels like there’s a motor in your chest that won’t stop. Your breathing is shallow. Your mind is foggy. Your hands are unsteady as you push them to produce. Embrace the unveiling of this anxiety. Allow those things that hum under the surface of your everyday activity to rise up from within and offer them to the Holy, Heavenly keeper of all your anxieties. In him is the only safe place.

6. Everything feels like an interruption. Ann’s words come back to me here, that life is not an emergency.

“Stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions in one’s own or real life. The truth is, of course, that what one regards as interruptions are precisely one’s life.”

C.S. Lewis

7. Your yes weighs more than your no. Are you coming up with lists for all the reasons you can’t say no to things? Is your head incapable of shaking from left to right? Are you dragging your bag of yes’s behind you while your bag of no’s hangs empty from your shoulder? Take time to sit with those bags and unload a heavy yes or two. (or ten).

8. You can’t shake the feeling that you’re trying to catch up to something. But you aren’t sure what it is. You spin and you worry and you are swept away in the current of activity. We are tricked into believing that the only relief from feeling behind is to catch up. But this is war, and the enemy is an illusive and foggy expectation.

If any of these resonate with you, perhaps it’s time to take a break from something. As I’ve been working and writing and making my art, I’m thankful for the courage I found under layers of good girl over the past few years; for the calling I’ve discovered after lots of stops and starts; for the book I now hold in my thankful hands, the book that works like a period at the end of a very long sentence. Here, she says, you finished something. I want to grab a permanent marker and make that period loud and strong, to make it stick, to make it finished. But the truth is, it will never really be finished. As long as I’m living, the work will never stop. I will always find something more to do, to write, to say, to act on.

But I need a little time to enjoy the period. The next book is fully in the works, the one that beats close to my heart in a different way because of who it’s for. I will be finishing up some things for that book as well as a few other things. So for the next two weeks, I will be quiet here on the blog.

When I come back, I’m excited to host Tuesdays Unwrapped again for just the month of December. That project helps me see. I would love for you to join me here then.

May these next few weeks be filled with grace, and may your thanks line the path for your giving. May you become well acquainted with your own belovedness as you take deep soul breaths of the mystery of Christ.

9 posts on finding space for your soul to breathe:

For When You Feel Behind
Change the World :: Say No
When Life Demands Performance 
Six Things About Soul Space
Make Room for Space
On Being Stubborn 
Love in the Morning
Slowing for Thankful
The Secret to Keeping the Wonder

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. I have been learning too that this sort of rest can be done in small steps – instead of unloading everything, saying no to one or two things in order to refocus.

    How do you always know where I am? I think you must have a secret “in.” 😉

    I am so hoping to get into my reader this week, to say YES to seeing so many people who encourage my rest!

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  3. allowing yourself to be still & do nothing long enough for the anxiety to give way to the voice of grace . . . reminds me of a chapter in one of my all-time favorite books. the chapter was called, “The Confidence (in Him) to do Nothing.” (parenths mine)

    i am in the process of recovering from a 14-month (& counting) health crisis (with my adrenal glands) that included months upon months of not having any physical strength. not even to sit. not even to see and hear normal household sounds without it physically wiping me out. honestly, not too different from the state of a baby — where little things are overly stimulating to them & their senses. that was me.

    and i praise God that He is working a gradual healing in my body. but as a big “do-er” (as most of us are), throughout that time i couldn’t help but think about that concept — the confidence in Him to do nothing. when we do nothing, it is a beautiful opportunity to have our eyes opened to areas where we’ve misplaced our identity and our value, & to allow the Lord to remind us of His unchanging truths about them. That because we are made in God’s image, we can not add to or take away from our value. And that when we anchor our whole identity on Christ alone (not in what we accomplish), our souls find rest. and freedom.

    indeed, when we have the confidence in Him to be still and do nothing, He is ready to do a mighty work in that quietness.

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  6. Very well said, Emily. We all need to step back once in a while, take a deep breath and not just look, but really see, 360 degrees around us, so we don’t lose track of what’s really most important. You’ve provided us with so much inspiration and invaluable guidance through your book and your blog. We can all come back here anytime for a dose of how to better balance our lives with our art. Enjoy your well-deserved time away. 🙂

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  10. Thanks for sharing! That happens to be exactly where I am at in life. I am starting to believe that these feelings are normal and part of being a woman. My husband never seems to think or feel this way!

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  12. So grateful for your wisdom, Emily. Many of those signs seem all too familiar to me — I’ve already thought about not blogging at all over the Christmas holiday, when we are out of town. You have given me the courage to take that step (usually I write frantically in advance to have enough posts in the que while I am away – this time I will simply rest).

    Super excited for Tuesdays Unwrapped in December — it’s always been my favorite community!

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    • Me too! so excited for Tuesdays Unwrapped in December–that’s how I first came to your blog, Emily and your blog, Michelle!!! {and concur with all–soul-breathing wisdom all our us need! thanks for serving Emily!}

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  13. Emily,
    I will be praying that you will be able to rest. I know that feeling… when you can’t even enjoy your favorite television show because of the anxiety that is a constant companion. I will pray that you can ACTUALLY rest and enjoy this break.
    Matthew 11:28

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  14. thanks for your encouraging words today – exactly what i needed to hear! i heard recently about the “discipline of replenishment” and that’s something i’m trying to add into my life. in my line of work, this is a busy season, but i trust that my God will supply all my needs as i take much needed time to sit still in His presence.

    be blessed!

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  15. Thank you for your continued “realness”.
    Please know you’ll be missed, but your time away is completely understandable.

    I cannot wait for your next work.

    Be blessed, my friend…

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  17. Ah, Tuesdays Unwrapped. The meme that started my blogging.
    Looking forward to playing along.
    I need to plaster a huge sign on my wall so I don’t FORGET. Cause I am really bad about forgetting stuff.
    (You nailed it when you said that Forgetfulness is the Enemy’s greatest weapon against us.)
    It was so good to see you at Relevant. Wish we could have spent more time chatting face to face. I didn’t even know about your tea until it was over. 🙁 And I never even got a photo of you/us.

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  18. Oh I will miss you, but I so understand. You have blessed me and changed me. I love your book and your blog. And you photography. Enjoy a break but come back.

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  19. we seem to be in similar situations….although i’m not so much writing books. but god has made it abundantly clear that it is time. time for rest and reflection and maybe even some refining. it’s not so easy….it is bringing anxiety….but i know god is my strength and my shield and he is in absolute control of this time of my life.

    i pray you find the same comfort and peace….xoxo

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  20. So very timely! I was just talking to my hubby today about this and we decided I would step back from some of my “yesses” for a little break too. It’s not a moment too soon, either! I pray for us both – for all who’ve responded here! – to be refreshed and released to new dreams in Him as we rest. Blessings, friend!

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  21. I am so thankful I clicked my way here today. It’s a God-thing; I totally needed to read this post. Bless you for following God’s plan to share this again.

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  24. I joke that it feels like my life is an intense version of “Wack a Mole” only the consequences of missing one is super significant. It is also sometimes like I’m trying to out run in the Running of the Bulls.

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  25. YES!!!! Is all I can say to this blog. I am taking a break from a lot of things. In the midst of the quiet and inactivity is often when God’s voice becomes altogether clear. It’s amazing what we can see when we stop that is veiled when we are in a constant frenzy.
    REST!!!! To anyone who’s reading this – just do it! Let the pieces fall where they may. Sit and be grateful. BREATHE! I have 4 kids under 7 and I know how hard it can be. It IS meant as a blessing. What is more important – to sit and reflect on His blessings, or to keep everything, in some semblance of order?
    REST!!!!

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  26. I completely agree! I’m actually taking a bit of a break from my own blog…it was starting to feel like a frenzy to keep the house in order, and the kids happy, and do other freelance projects and keep posting regularly…I’m also taking the time to pray and seek God’s guidance and direction for my writing life. It’s good to follow God and follow our hearts on these things…it makes us stronger, wiser and better able To utilize our gifts and passions in the long run…Enjoy!

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  27. Nice article and so true. My husband is sending me on my first vacation in eight years of marriage- three full days of quiet at my parent’s house by the sea that I miss so much. After that, I think I’ll rest again when my two year old is four. Maybe three and a half. Four children and homeschooling and illness are things I just can’t take a break from! We can’t all take good advice every day, unfortunately. But moments of quiet- that “be still my soul,” even for five minutes (or two!) is like taking a long drink of something very good. Especially when looking at a lovely sky from a hill. Almoast makes up for raraly seeing the ocean any more. For a while I had forgotten how to enjoy beauty quietly; to really be filled with it and forget all else. It’s an ability worth pursuing. And I just discovered (or remembered) that there is beauty in all the senses- sound has been my focus lately. God bless you with moments of quiet (there He is!).

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  30. its so very very important (and brave) to recognize the need for rest. for quiet. for more. sometimes we have to learn the hard way, and stop only when we’ve no other choice. thanks for outlining some clues for those of us who need the reminders! i look forward to reading your book. thanks.

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  32. Hi Emily,

    As a writer, I really appreciate the distinction you make here between procrastination and rest–such an important line to draw.

    I’m also reading Grace for the Good Girl–a much-needed prompt to rediscover grace and trust.

    Thank you so much!

    Alina Sayre

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