5 ways to know if it’s time for a mustache

It wasn’t my intention to put a mustache on my car. The Man works with high school kids so he really got it for his. We left the toy store that afternoon, smiling as we carried out the giant magnet. But when we got home, it didn’t take long to realize there was no good place to put the stache on his car – the grill and the headlights and yadayada – so he stuck it on mine “just to see.” That was nearly a year ago.

At first it was funny but now I mostly forget about it until I’m sitting at a stoplight and people walk across the street in front of me and stare and laugh point. And I get all weird and throw up my hands, What?! and get defensive.

Until I remember I have a mustache on my car. And then I laugh, too.

For months, I’ve meaning to take it off. I mean, I’m not the mustache on my car kind of person, really. But then, I keep not taking it off. I started thinking about why and came up with five possible reasons. Maybe you need a mustache, too?

1. If you’re easily offended, it might be time to put a mustache on your car. Give them a reason to point and laugh, and then laugh with them.

2. If you think your car is too nice for the foolishness, it might be time for a stache. In this case, you might need to skip the magnet and go ahead and get the fuzzy one.

3. If you are taking yourself too seriously, put a mustache on it. It’s hard to be introspective and twisty in the mustache mobile.

4. If you are feeling lonely? Mustache. People aren’t threatened by a girl in a van with mustache. You will delight children and their parents. Your friends will recognize you coming from far away, so when they get close enough to wave, you’ll see them. No mustache and they won’t recognize you until you’ve already passed. Too late for the wave.

5. If you aren’t the mustache type, it’s time definitely time for a mustache. Things have become too predictable. Shake it up a little. Laugh at yourself. Be silly for no reason.

Have things become a bit too serious for you? What are some mustaches you’re embracing these days?



  1. says

    Unbelievably, this is the perfect gift for my son. Thanks so much for posting! We have a running joke where I buy him silly stuff. His best gift ever was a small rubber chicken that lays an egg. Now I just have to come up with a hint/riddle that will keep him guessing till Christmas…

  2. says

    hahaha, so funny. I primarily would not want a mustache on my car b/c it is a hooptie! And I don’t want to draw any more unnecessary attention to it —it’s get enough as it is, what with the back door randomly swinging open. I could go on… I think driving around a beater right now while we work to save up for a new car is mustache enough for me. lol =) Mustache limits, anyone? =)

  3. says

    Reason number 863 why I love you, Emily. Your mustache. Though I have to admit, I don’t like the word mustache. Not sure why. (Miss seeing you!!)

  4. says

    So I get a lot of blogs. I’m busy. I don’t read a lot of them. But your titles always pull me in and I’m never disappointed. C’mon, be my best friend just for five minutes. haha. Love your writing. Wanna be you when I grow up. Except I refuse to grow up so never mind.

  5. says

    so so awesome. after the hours i have spent watching “Cars” & “Cars 2” I kind of imagine mustaches on cars we pass any way…might as well go for the real thing. haven’t seen a “stache” on any minivans here in the Big D…just lots of red-nosed reindeers this time of year. 😉

  6. says

    Oh, I definitely need a mustache on my car. Take myself too seriously? Check. Easily offended? Check. Not the mustache type? Check.

    I just love your ability to share so much thoughtfulness in even the silly things in life!

  7. says

    Thank you for the insight, Emily! You’ve got me thinking now, because wearing a mustache on my car is exactly the kind of thing I WOULD do — but haven’t. . . . That makes us even, right? :-)

  8. says

    I love this and your ability to roll in a mustache mobile. My husband has been sporting his for reals mustache since November and its been quite a hit with the teenagers, seeing as he’s a youth pastor I guess it’s good. But in a funny way, it’s been an opportunity for us to connect with new kids in a new way. Maybe I should get one for our cool minivan to match his face?

  9. says

    Love it! We saw a car at the grocery store the other day with “eyelashes” on the headlights. My kiddos went crazy! With the mustache we could create “his” and “hers” cars…..just because. :)

  10. says

    HAHA! Absolutely, yes. Always time for a mustache. I prefer a full beard (on my man… not sure about the car, yet) but I’ll take what I can get.

  11. says

    That’s hilarious! A year? I’ve never seen a mustache on a car around here. I could be the first. But, no wait. My recently repaired van will have to go three months for the paint to properly cure before I could put it on there.

  12. says

    Haha this definitely made me chuckle. Then, I read through the list and realized I fit in all 5 categories! I think it’s time for my car to get a mustache. :)

  13. Kimberly says

    Love this! I couldn’t help but smile. As soon as I was done reading I bought one of those mustaches for my parent’s car for Christmas! They will live it and definitely put it on their car. I wish I could take myself less seriously… I used too. I will be on the look out for mustaches to embrace…

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